Give Your Heart A Break
by JR-Boone
Summary: Hanging on by a string to her popularity Santana Lopez begins to notice a strange dynamic between Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry. At first she wants to figure it out with the intention of knocking Quinn down a peg or two, but once she does things change and she finds herself changing with them.
1. Chapter 1

Author: J.R. Boone  
Chapter One  
Rating: It wouldn't be me if it wasn't M.  
Disclaimer: Yada, yada, yada, I don't own Glee or any of it's characters. Just borrowing them.

* * *

Santana Lopez let out a sigh of relief when she slipped into the choir room to find it empty. Quickly the Latina pulled her lunch out of her bag and sat down at the top of risers. She needed a moment. A moment to breathe, to collect her, and re-fortify her bitch face before going back out into the halls and carrying on like nothing fazed her.

It had been three weeks now since Brittany had basically tore out her heart and Santana was still having trouble processing this drastic change in her life. Enough time had passed to where she could forgive the girl and see her without dissolving into a sobbing mess but it still stung. It was a fresh wound just starting to scab over and every time she saw the blonde sitting on Wheel's lap it got ripped back just enough to render her broken.

The shitty part of it was that she knew it was all her fault. She's the one who hadn't been able to come out and be who she was because she was afraid of what people would think. She kept Brittany her dirty little secret and the blonde had just wised up to that. She regretted it now. There were moments during the day when she imagined doing it differently. Standing up for what she wanted. She knew it would be in vain though. She had waited too long and she was resigned to the fact that Brittany was in love with Artie, not her.

Added on top of all the emotional crap that she was dealing with, since school had started back two months ago Quinn had been on a rampage to reclaim her title as head bitch in charge and she was doing it with a take no prisoners gusto that drove Santana crazy. Less than two weeks into the new school year the blonde had snatched up Sam Evans, the new quarterback, reinstated the travesty that was the Chastity Club, and had practically head butted Santana from her position as head cheerio. And now Santana was at the bottom of not only the pyramid but also dangling precariously close to the bottom of the social ladder.

Quinn had seized upon Santana's obvious emotional upheaval three weeks ago rather marvelously. The blonde knew just how to push all of Santana's various buttons and she had done so with extreme accuracy. Before, having Brittany as a buffer Santana's inherent cattiness had been muted enough for her to function in this lame ass school. Yes she had been seen as a bitch but Brittany had always been around to balance her out. Now with her best friend giving her some space to deal Santana had nothing to offset her unpleasant moods to the general public. And Quinn was capitalizing on this by forcefully setting the Latina off so much that even she knew she was horrible to be around. People were giving her a wide berth now, so much that the only text she had gotten in a week was her Dad asking what she wanted for dinner.

If things weren't so chaotic in her personal life she might be fighting back. Pushing the fact that Quinn had hello? Just had a baby out of wedlock, after cheating on her boyfriend, and then creating an entire Jerry Springer episode of baby daddy drama. But fuck she had a little bit more on her mind right now then Quinn Fabray's pitiful aspirations of High School domination.

Everything just seemed so fucked up right now. It was her senior year and here she was alone in the choir room holding back tears because she had caught a glimpse of a picture of Artie hanging in Brittany's locker where she once was.

Setting her lunch aside the Cheerio bent over and rested her face in the palms of hands to take in a deep couple of breathes. Just when she felt like she wasn't about to cry a noise caught her attention and she looked up to find Rachel Berry slinking quietly into the Choir Room, her hair wet from what Santana could only assume was another slushy bath.

Things with her and Quinn weren't the only thing that had changed since the start of the new school year. While she admittedly did not make a habit out of watching Rachel you would have to be blind to not see the changes.

Over summer the brunette had shed her usual attire and adopted a uniform of jeans and darkly colored hoodies. She had apparently dropped out of all of her extracurriculars that weren't related to her love of theatre and had somewhat turned into a ghost in the halls and classes. Besides in Glee where Santana barely paid attention anymore the Latina could think of maybe one or two times she had heard the diva say a sentence consisting of more than six words.

In Glee she was quieter than normal. She was Rachel Berry so of course complete silence was a non-option but she was considerably with drawn. Now when the brunette spoke up it was shaky, not her at all. Santana had noted on one occasion when she wasn't completely spaced out that the Diva looked like she had to physically hold back her personality to the point of pain.

This wasn't a complete mystery to Santana though. She knew the smaller why in the equation. And the why Rachel Berry looked like a ghost all of the time was the same why that had Santana sitting alone in the choir room for lunch.

Quinn Fabray.

For some reason unbeknownst to Santana, the blonde had been on a fucking tear where the Glee captain was concerned. She was practically waging war against the girl to an almost extreme. Throwing a few slushies here and there were normal but the girl was currently getting two to three a day all of them ordered by Quinn herself.

The bigger why was something Santana really hadn't spent more than a minute of her time pondering. What the hell got Quinn so damned riled up about Rachel? I mean for all intensive purposes Quinn seemed to have the perfect life going. She was Queen Bee of the school again, she had Sam following her around like a subservient puppy dog, and Santana knew that Quinn's home life was all sunshine and mother daughter heart to hearts since Judy kicked Russell out on his cheating ass.

And yah Rachel Berry was a whole mess of annoying, or at least she used to be, but now she barely said four words. She wasn't going after Sam like she had Finn, and she hadn't even looked at Finn once since school started to Santana's knowledge (something that would undoubtedly set off Quinn for some reason no matter what). She was suddenly realizing that there just had to be something more to whatever the hell was going on.

She was pulled out of her musing when Rachel turned into the room and spotted her observing her. The shorter brunette gave a tiny jump at the sight before her and Santana felt a tiny twang of guilt bubble up in her chest. The diva was obviously frightened of her, yet she was surprised by the question that easily came out of her mouth.

"Are you okay Santana?" Rachel asked, her eyes narrowing slightly at what Santana assumed were her red eyes.

Without skipping a beat Santana shot back defensively. "None of you fucking business Berry."

Instantly the singer nodded and eyed the door, obviously considering making a hasty exit. Santana groaned softly at this and shook her head. She really had to stop being such a snarling bitch all the time, and considering the fact that Rachel was the first person in over a month to genuinely show her some common decency she felt bad for snapping at her.

"Fuck," she said throwing her head back and sighing. "I'm sorry. I'm not having a good day," she said crossing her arms.

Rachel turned back to the girl at that and frowned slightly before arching an eyebrow. "You must be if you just apologized to me," she chuckled humorously before cautiously stepping further into the room and sitting down at the piano.

"True that," Santana scoffed shaking her head and watching as Rachel glanced back at the door. "You expecting someone?" She asked nonchalantly inspecting her nails.

"Mmm no. Hiding more like," Rachel murmured shrugging slightly as she pulled an apple out of her bag and started munching quietly on it.

"Ah," Santana replied nodding her head. "Baby Cheerios?" She asked shaking her head.

"Yes," Rachel mumbled pushing back her hoody and chuckling humorously. "It seems they are having a contest to see who can get in the most slushies today."

"They are," Santana said shrugging her shoulders before standing up and stepping down off the risers to sit closer to the diva. "This morning Quinn offered a week's worth of car rides in her new convertible to the girl with the biggest number."

The tiny brunette frowned at this new information and Santana couldn't help but feel sorry and a little confused at the hurt that flashed in the girl's eyes. But it was gone in a second and then the diva's face returned to the same emotionless slate Santana had become used to seeing. "Glad I can help one lucky Cheerio get to school this week, lord knows they need it," Rachel grumbled sarcastically shaking her head and causing Santana to smile a little. Suddenly Rachel looked down at her bag. "Do you want an apple?" She asked pulling out a green one and offering it to Santana.

Santana stared at the apple for a second in confusion. It felt suddenly as if she had been plunged into an alternative universe here. One where she was sitting in the choir room and making idle chit chat with the schools biggest loser. But all things considered at the rate Quinn was going she would be joining Rachel soon…and she did totes love her a green apple. So she simply shrugged her shoulders and caught it between her hands when Rachel tossed it to her. "Thanks," she said staring at it for a second before taking a huge chunk out of it. "So," she said conversationally hoping to avoid an awkward silence. "What did you do to piss off Quinn so bad?"

Rachel seemed to consider this carefully, carefully enough that Santana could pick up on the slight uncomfortable look to her eyes. Finally the diva just dipped her head and shrugged. "Quinn is Quinn. I don't feel I'm getting any special treatment."

"Yah right," Santana scoffed shaking her head. "She's got some kind of vendetta against you lately."

"I hadn't noticed," Rachel mumbled quietly as she wrapped up her apple core in a napkin and deposited it in the trash can. "Wetnap?" the shorter girl asked pulling a small travel sized pack out of her back and offering it to Santana.

"Thanks," Santana said rolling her eyes and absolute absurdity of this entire situation. "You know," the Latina observed. "I think this is the most you and I have ever spoken to each other. Fuck my life has gone down hill."

Rachel smirked slightly as she wiped off her hands. "Sorry to be that particular mile marker, it could be worse though," she chuckled tossing the wetnap into the trash as well.

"Oh god how could it be worse?" Santana asked shaking her head.

"Well," Rachel said taking her seat at the piano again and smiling. "You could be conversing civilly with Finn."

At this Santana couldn't help but let out a guffaw. Rachel seemed to have a slightly sarcastic sense of humor that had gone previously unnoticed by her; it had probably been smothered by her crazy "You know what Berry?" The Latina asked tilting her head to the side.

"Yes I am familiar with Jacob Ben Israel," Rachel laughed tilting her head to the side and smiling.

"Oh snap," Santana laughed throwing her head back and clapping her hands. "You're not that fucking bad sometimes."

"Well I appreciate that," Rachel said pulling a brush out of her bag and running it through her still wet hair. "You're not a horrible person when you're not surrounded by your peers."

"Yah well I'm having an off day," Santana said chuckling and shaking her head. "I do wonder, why are you talking to me?" The Latina asked uncertainly. "I mean these days everyone runs like I'm about to drop a fucking house on them."

Rachel hummed in contentment at the comment and cocked her head to the side. "First off I appreciate the musical reference."

"Well I have to speak so you can understand," Santana jested shaking her head.

"Naturally," Rachel laughed. "And secondly, to answer your question, why not? I have not ever personally hated you despite our past and you don't seem to have a slushy on your person," the girl said narrowing her eyes in faux suspicion at Santana.

"Slushy free," Santana laughed holding up her hands.

"Well in that case I'm sticking with why not. You're talking cordially with me which is something that happens rarely. I don't like looking a gift horse in the mouth," Rachel said shrugging her shoulders.

Santana nodded at this and considered questioning the brunette about her change in appearance and demeanor but decided against it when the bell rang out around them. "And back to the real world," Rachel said shaking her head and pulling her hoody up.

"Yah you know this never happened right?" Santana said standing up as well and tossing her apple core and used wetnap in the trash.

She felt bad when she saw a tinge of sadness in Rachel's eyes but there was not a whole lot she could do about it. Despite not giving a shit about a whole truck load of things Santana did care about her image, or what was left of it at least.

"Of course," Rachel said nodding slightly and picking up her back pack.

Santana warred with herself over what to say next before sighing and looking at the tiny brunettes back as she made her way for the door. "Fuck, Berry wait up," she said striding towards her. "Look you've been decent to me for some godforsaken reason. Let me do you a favor."

"What favor could you possibly do for me," Rachel asked looking over her shoulder, her face barely visible beneath her hoody now.

"Well," Santana said stepping up the girl and staring out into emptying hallway. "Look we both have Chem now. Walk next to me to class. Don't look at me," she stressed quickly. "But walk next to me. No one will be stupid enough to toss a slushy at you with me standing next to you. Deal?"

Rachel seemed to consider it for a moment before nodding slightly. "Deal," she said quickly pulling her hoody around her carefully before following Santana out the door.

Santana's entire theory was blown out of the water a second later when she heard a loud splash and froze up at the feeling of icy liquid sinking into the sleeve of her undershirt. "What the fuck," she shouted staring down at her now yellow sleeve before glancing over at Rachel who was completely covered in slushy. Looking up she saw Quinn staring at them, an almost lethal look to her hazel eyes.

"What the fuck Quinn?" She yelled shaking her arm and sending bits of ice flying across the almost empty hall.

"Don't stand around losers and you won't get slushied," Quinn growled, before glaring at Rachel who was valiantly trying to rub the corn syrup out of her eyes. "Scamper off to the bathroom Manhands," she chuckled.

Rachel looked up at the blonde for a second and Santana swore she saw a hint of real hurt before the brunette turned and quickly headed for the bathroom.

"And you," Quinn said turning to the Latina. "Go change your undershirt. You're still a Cheerio after all," she said before shoulder checking Santana and striding off in the direction Rachel had gone.

Santana wanted to grab the blonde's pony tail and ram her head into a wall but she resisted the urge. While it would be extremely satisfying she knew that it would not help her out in the least bit, and more than that she was suddenly curious. She had seen real hurt in Rachel's and that was strange.

Santana had actively been bullying the girl for as long as they had known each other and never once had she'd seen that look. Usually the girl just shrugged it off and walked away with her head held high. And Santana knew it was because Rachel really didn't give two shits about what people thought about her. In a few years that girl was going to be fucking famous off her ass and the majority of the losers in this town would be flipping burgers. But for some reason Quinn had gotten to her. She had hurt her.

She didn't know what the fuck this was all about but she did know that it could be good for her. Quinn had just about fucked up her social image completely and Santana despite everything still wanted a sense of revenge. Like Rachel said, don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

* * *

Santana managed to make it to her Chem class only five minutes late and the teacher had merely frowned at her before continuing on with her lecture.

Rolling her eyes Santana had quickly snatched up the only unused table and pulled out her notebook. A few minutes later as she was dutifully copying down notes she looked up when she heard a bark of laughter.

Standing in the door looking nervously at the room stood Rachel in a fresh black hoody clutching her backpack. Following the singers eyes Santana frowned when she realized that there were only three seats available in the room.

One next to Jewfro who practically panting at the sight of the brunette, one next to a Cheerio who was eagerly clutching a slushy (like where the fuck were they getting them today?), and the seat next to her.

"Ms. Berry would you mind choosing a spot some time today?" The teacher asked making the shorter girl jump slightly.

Visible resignation passed in Rachel's eyes as she skirted around Jewfro and made towards the cheerio and without thinking Santana reached out and grabbed the brunette by the wrist, pulling her down in the seat next to her.

Large brown eyes looked at appreciatively and Santana nodded in acknowledgment before turning her eyes to the Cheerio who was looking out the window at Quinn's car rather forlornly. Scoffing and shaking her head Santana looked back up to the teacher and subtly slid the first page of notes towards Rachel. "Just start copying them; I'll give you the rest later."

"Thank you," Rachel breathed out in relief and instantly hunched over them.

As the teacher droned lifelessly Santana sat back in her chair and filled out the notes on the board mechanically as she pondered why she had pulled Rachel down into the chair. Letting her sit next to Jewfro was just unfathomable, but the diva wasn't going to. She was going to sit next to the eager Cheerio, who most likely would have slushied her the second the bell rang and something about that didn't sit well with Santana.

Mentally studying her feelings Santana was a little disgruntled to realize that only twenty percent of wanting to find out what was going on with her and Quinn was involved in the split decision. The other eighty percent was because Rachel had talked to her like a human being less than an hour ago where no one else had even bothered for over a month.

Her attention was piqued when the teacher started talking about their midterm assignment and she quickly nudged Rachel and nodded up so the girl would listen.

"Alright guys this is going to be the bones of your first semester grade. All of the homework you have turned in and in-class experiments you have done will count for twenty percent of your grade. This one assignment will be the other eighty percent," the teacher said looking over the class. The irony over the percentages she had just been calculating in her head versus these one were not lost on Santana and she couldn't help but roll her eyes and chuckle. Twenty percent and eighty percent.

"The assignment is to find a major breakthrough in modern chemistry and present it as if it was your original idea. That includes writing a thirty page paper on your "discovery" the teacher continued actually doing finger quotes. "Writing a six page article up that you would be presenting to a publication to paraphrase your discovery, and then presenting the experiment attached to the discovery to support your findings."

All around them people were groaning and Santana chuckled shaking her head. Chemistry was her bitch. Looking next to her she saw Rachel also appeared unfazed by the assignment as she was calmly writing it down.

"Now," the teacher said leaning forwards on her desk. "Quite frankly I believe only a small percentage of you actually have the IQ to become scientists some day if you chose to," at this she glanced over at Santana and Rachel who simply smirked. Santana proudly meeting the eyes of the other student whilst Rachel just nodded her head slightly and continued writing. "So being that as it may this will be a partners project, meaning the person sitting next to you will be your partner. Hopefully that will help."

If the students had been groaning before they were now on the edge of hysteria. Next to her Rachel completely froze up and Santana glanced over at her. So she was partnered with Berry on what sounded like a pretty damn intense assignment. She mulled the taste of that around in her mouth for a second before shrugging. At least Rachel was intelligent enough to keep up with her and it could be worse.

A fact that was confirmed moments later when the teacher teemed up Jew Fro and the lone Cheerio. Seconds later the creepy "journalist" dashed to the seat next to her and the Cheerio unceremoniously dumped her slushy on his head just as the bell rang.

"Looks like she's not getting that ride," Santana chuckled shaking her head as the other students laughed and began packing their things.

"Walking is good for her anyways. Develops character," Rachel mumbled as she began putting her things in her bag.

"Hey wait," Santana laughed before quickly pulling her notes out of her binder and passing them over. "Here's the other half."

Rachel stared blankly at the notes and then back at Santana before smiling slightly and looking around the almost empty room. "Careful Santana, your decency is showing."

"Ha ha," Santana grumbled shaking her head as she stood up. "So about this assignment. You want to what? Meet up at your place tonight and figure it out?"

Rachel seemed to take a moment to ponder that before nodding slightly. "That would be acceptable. Do you know where I live?"

Santana grimaced uncomfortably at the question and rubbed the back of her neck. "Yah…I've been around there a couple of times."

Recognition clicked in Rachel's eyes and the girl nodded sharply. "Right, the toilet paper."

"Yah…" Santana trailed off as the two began making their way to the door. "So what time do you want me to come?" At this Rachel let out a very undignified snort of laughter and Santana felt her face flush. "Oh fuck me," she groaned stopping and banged her head against the wall. Again this resulted in more laughter and Santana began to repeatedly bang her head against the wall.

"Stop that," Rachel managed to say through her laughter and grabbed a hold of the Cheerio's jacket. "If you get brain damage I'll have to do this project by myself."

"Okay," Santana said letting her self get tugged away from the wall. "Alright Chuckles. What time would you like me to come over to your house tonight?"

"Any time is okay," Rachel said still laughing slightly. "I'm free tonight," she said, her eyes smiling at the Latina.

For some reason it made Santana uncomfortable and she realized that Rachel's hand was still clutching her jacket. Quickly the girl flinched away and shook her head as if to clear it of cobwebs. "And that is different from any other night," she asked snarkily.

Rachel instantly flinched away from her and Santana couldn't help but feel horrible as the normal blank look she had been sporting this year replaced smiling eyes. "Point made," Rachel murmured looking down at the floor before making her way to the door.

Sighing loudly to herself and shaking her head Santana followed the tiny girl out only to once again feel an ice cold beverage slap against her skin. Only this time it wasn't just her arm. It was a full on facial slushy. "Fucking hell!" She shouted, her head snapping up to see Quinn clutching an empty slushy in her hand and glaring at her. "What the fuck is your problem Quinn?" She roared as Rachel eyed the two girls nervously and slid off to the side to join the group of gaping onlookers.

"I told you earlier to stay away from her," Quinn said, her voice shaking with anger. "So imagine my surprise when I walk by the door to find you laughing with her."

"Oh fuck you, you crazy bitch," Santana said shaking the flakes off ice off of her self. "We're doing a Chem project together and you're not in charge of who fucking talks to who in this school. I'll chat up Rachel Fucking Berry any time I feel like it!"

"Like hell you will," Quinn said stepping forwards into Santana's space and eyeing her dangerously. "Turn in your uniform to the dry cleaners and don't bother picking it up, you're off the squad."

"Are you kidding me?" Santana shouted, gesturing wildly and biting the urge to full on punch the blonde in the stomach.

"As serious as a heart attack," Quinn bit out harshly before parting the crowd and stomping away with her nose held high.

That right there was what broke Santana's control completely. It was a little know fact but her mother had died suddenly of a heart attack three years ago and she had still not gotten over it. Rage bubbled up in her chest and she raced towards the Head Cheerio's back only to be held back by the arms of a few Baby Cheerios eager to prove them selves. "Let me the fuck go!" Santana yelled furiously struggling against them as Quinn, never breaking stride turned down the hall.

Finally the shouting alerted one of the mysterious beasts known as teachers and Santana felt the fight go out of her body as William Shuester appeared before her and began verbally reprimanding her. "Oh screw this," she said turning around and strutting away from him.

A soft hand on her wrist stopped her and she looked over to find Rachel staring at her. "I'm sorry Santana," Rachel said biting her bottom lip and shaking her head.

"Whatever," Santana grumbled glaring at the students still standing around. "Like you said Quinn is Quinn. I'll see you tonight." With that she stormed off down the hall intent and getting out of her soaked uniform and skipping the rest of the day. When she reached the end of the hall she saw Rachel quickly turning in the direction Quinn had went and arched her eyebrows.

Something was going on and she was going to figure it the hell out. All things considered she didn't have anything else to lose at this point anyways.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Give Your Heart A Break  
Chapter: Two  
Author: J.R. Boone  
Tumblr: JRAbraxas  
Rating: Wouldn't be me if it wasn't M.  
Disclaimer: Yada yada yada I obviously don't own Glee. If I did it would be like the musical version of The L Word.

* * *

Santana spent the afternoon after the verbal smack down with Quinn laying on her bed and staring blankly up at her ceiling pondering what the hell happened to her life. It was almost unfathomable that just this morning she had had been protected by her Cheerio status and tomorrow she would be totally vulnerable to the multitude of people she had pissed off in the last three years.

And to really drive the knife in she realized with startling clarity that this is what she had tried to avoid so hard that she had lost Brittany. The one shiny happy thing in her life was gone and she had nothing to show for it. She was exactly where she figured she would end up if she had came out only now she didn't have the one thing that would have made it worth it.

After laying in bed for close to five hours she sighed when she realized it was already nearing seven and she still had to get over to Berry's. She was perturbed to realize that finding out what was going on with Quinn and the diva was still only twenty percent of the reason why going over there didn't feel like a death sentence. The other eighty percent had split up into two groups at this point. Forty percent gratitude to the shorter girl for today's moment of peaceful conversation, and forty percent slight curiosity.

She had seen a small glimpse of Rachel Berry that she had never noticed before today, mostly because before she just couldn't be bothered to. But now if the dropped feeling in the pit of her stomach meant anything then she had better get used to being at the bottom, and she supposed maybe Rachel wouldn't be such horrible company.

After pulling on a pair of jeans and throwing on a hoody the ex-cheerio quietly made her way out of the house and into the already frosty October air.

When the brunette pulled up the Berry house she had to take a moment to collect her self. She was sitting in front of Rachel Berry's house, fully intending to go inside and spend a few hours with her. Yes, it was for a school project that counted for eighty percent of their grade but that was a non sequitur to tell the honest truth. One year ago, hell five months ago she would have firstly not been sitting next to Rachel Berry in the first place today, and secondly even if she had she wouldn't have even considered meeting up anywhere but school for this.

Letting her head fall back against her headrest she took another calming breathe and let her eyes close. "Alright," she grumbled to herself. "Everything has obviously spun out of control in my life, might as well hang on and try to enjoy the ride."

Santana paused only for a second at the door before rapping her knuckles against and standing back defensively. Trying to act as nonchalant as possible the brunette fell back on studying her nails until she realized that obviously the first knock had not done the job. Grumbling to her self she tried the door knob and was surprised when it turned in her hand. "Way to get your ass home invaded Berry," Santana scoffed before rolling her eyes and letting herself in the home.

The foyer was dark but ahead of her she could see the artificial light of the television bouncing off the walls. "Yo Berry you alive in here?" She called out as she pulled off her boots and threw them into a pile next to the door.

A second later the light bouncing off the walls froze and Santana was almost blinded by the over head flicking on as Rachel's head peaked around the wall, her eyes Santana noted were slightly red as if she had been crying. "How did you get into my house?" She asked frowning.

"I picked the lock of course," Santana joked pulling off her hoody and rolling her eyes at Rachel's affronted look. "Chill out Shorty, your door was unlocked, very great idea by the way."

"Oh," Rachel said frowning deeper and shaking her head before glaring cutely (cutely what the hell) at the Latina. "You do realize that I'm like only a couple of inches shorter than you right?"

"Blah details," Santana chuckled walking past the girl into the living room and freezing when she looked at the screen and saw a familiar image. "You're watching Halloween?" She asked in mild disbelief, as Rachel stepped past her, sat down on the couch, and tried to discreetly rub her eyes.

Instantly the girl sprang forwards and grabbed the empty DVD case. "Oh my god I thought these were deleted scenes from Funny Girl," Rachel grasped dramatically before smiling lightly and shaking her head up at the Latina who was pleased to see whatever mood the girl had been in a minute ago was dissipating quickly.

"Excuse me for being slightly shocked," Santana scoffed as she walked over to a wall covered in DVDs and blue rays. "I figured if it didn't have music in it you didn't watch it."

"Contrary to popular belief I am not a one dimensional cartoon character on the bathroom walls," Rachel mumbled, her tone light. "I actually enjoy a wide range of movies."

"I can see that," Santana said nodding as she studied the various titles. "You've got a lot of horror here. Some classic stuff actually," the Latina remarked running her fingers over an entire row of movies ranging from Halloween to Psycho.

"It's one of my favorite genres. Classic horror movies that is, I hate what passes as horror these days," Rachel hummed pulling a discarded blanket across her lap and relaxing back into the couch.

"Same," Santana said nodding lightly and moving across the room to sit next to the brunette.

"Really?" Rachel asked her head cocking slightly to the side. "I had figured you would be a Saw fan."

"No, to pare-quote you I am not a one dimensional bitch," Santana corrected shaking her head. "If I'm watching a horror movie I want to feel scared not grossed out. I can watch Finnoscence eat a chili dog for that."

"Oh my god," Rachel laughed throwing her head back gleefully. "I'm so with you on both of those sentiments. Some people like to go on roller coasters or jump off building to get an adrenaline high. I prefer the thrill of a suspenseful horror movie. I don't need to see a bunch of gore and violence to feel scared. As for the Finn part. He can be a sweet boy at times but his table manners do leave a lot to be desired."

"Rather generous way of phrasing that but I'll take it," Santana mused shaking her head.

"Santana," Rachel said suddenly sitting up a little straighter and worrying the edge of her frayed blanket. "I want to apologize for what happened today."

Instantly Santana felt the little bubble of rare happiness she was in pop and she took a deep breath before looking at Rachel. Part of her wanted to snap at the girl and she had a multitude of insults just waiting on the tip of her tongue. But when she looked over and saw honesty sympathy in the girl's eyes she felt the insults slip away and shrugged deeply. "It's not your fault Berry."

"But it is kind of," Rachel murmured tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "If you hadn't of been talking to me today Quinn wouldn't have reacted so…extremely."

"Hey," Santana snapped fiercely, her brain humming in annoyance. "Quinn Fabray is not the fucking boss of me. Like I told her I can talk to whoever the hell I want to. And to be fair this has been coming for a while now I feel."

"Do you know why?" Rachel asked scooting a tiny bit closer to her and frowning.

"Beats the hell out of me," Santana professed emoting her frustration with her hands. "At first it just seemed like Quinn being Quinn but then whenever I and Brittany-" at this Santana nearly choked on her words and she looked over at Rachel with wide fearful eyes.

"Hey," Rachel scrambled quickly moving towards her on the couch and carefully resting a hand on her knee. "It's okay Santana. I know about the two of you and I am the furthest thing away from judging you on it."

"You don't know shit," Santana snapped defensively crossing her arms and glaring down at the petite hand on her knee.

"I know that you love her," Rachel murmured, her voice gentle. "And I know that a few weeks ago you two had a falling out but I'm not sure why."

Santana sat stewing in silence for a moment, thinking over her next move when suddenly a novel idea passed though her mind. This was Rachel Berry. She was in Rachel Berry's house. She has fallen so low and fast on the social ladder she was hanging out with Rachel Berry. And so far the evening the girl had surprised her and made her laugh. And now the shorter girl was extending an olive branch to talk about something she desperately wanted to talk about but thought that no one would listen to without judging her.

Resigned to her fate the Latina's defensive posture dropped and she relaxed back into the couch before looking up at Rachel. "I couldn't come out of the closet. That's what the argument was about," she grumbled roughly.

"I'm sorry Santana," Rachel replied shaking her head.

"It's my own fault," Santana laughed humorously. "I was too afraid of the fall out, which is really pathetic if you factor in where I am now anyways."

"Maybe Quinn will change her mind," the shorter girl murmured softly.

"Please," Santana groaned. "Quinn Fabray doesn't change her mind about anything. I lost my spot and tomorrow I'm going to drown in slushy."

"I don't think you will," Rachel said squeezing her knee slightly. "I'm sure that for whatever reason today was a mistake and Quinn will see that."

"Are you defending her?" Santana asked, her eyebrows rising incredulously at the girl.

"No," Rachel responded quickly shaking her head before pausing and shrugging. "I just think in the end that Quinn will do the right thing."

"You're something else Berry," Santana scoffed slightly in disbelief and slight amazement. "I've treated you like shit for three years yet you're sitting her listening to my sob story attentively, and Quinn has been waging war on you lately and you're still attempting to believe in the best of her."

Rachel seemed to mull over the statement for a second before looking away and sighing. "I try to look for the best in everyone," she said meekly before glancing back over at Santana.

"Why?" The Latina asked tilting her head to the side.

"Because otherwise I'd get knocked down by the worst," Rachel murmured before pulling her computer onto her lap and firing it up. "Now how about that Chem project?"

At this Santana understood the discussion was closed but she pondered it quietly in the back of her head as Rachel started listing off possible experiments they could duplicate. Confused was now the understatement of the century to describe Santana's feelings about this entire mess she was peeking in on. Things just weren't adding up in her head. Either Rachel Berry really was some kind of ultra forgiving saint or…or something else was definitely going on between her and Quinn.

The notion of asking her point blank passed through her mind but Santana carefully discarded it. Rachel she was quickly finding out was a lot more tolerable then she had previously imagined, and the fact that she had been comfortable opening up to the girl was startling seeing as they were for all intensive purposes strangers. So for some reason the thought of wheedling information out of her that she wanted to hurt Quinn with just didn't seem right.

Later that night after the two girls had narrowed down their experiment options Santana had gone home and pondered the situation heavily. After tossing and turning for a few hours she gave in to sleep in end, but she knew the next day at school she would have to pay more attention to any and all interactions between the two girls.

* * *

The next morning was tough going for Santana. Out of sheer repetition she drug herself out of bed at six a.m. and was half way to the bathroom when she remembered with a rather pained clarity that she wouldn't have Cheerios practice today, let alone any time in the future.

Groaning loudly to herself she had fallen back into bed and set an alarm to go off twenty minutes for the bell rang, hoping she could postpone the inevitable back lash she would encounter when she stepped foot onto campus.

When the alarm went off again she dressed leisurely, picking out a pair of tight jeans with one of her best tops. If she was to go down she was going to go down sexy as fuck and swinging.

Pulling into the lot she couldn't help but let out a forlorn sigh at the sight of her empty reserved parking spot as she passed it to find an empty space.

Holding her head up high the Latina strutted into the building five minutes before the first bell was due to ring and watched warily out of the corner of her eye as the other students walked past her like usual. There was the same fear in their eyes but there was also the same begrudging respect which made Santana nervous. Something was not adding up.

Keeping her cool the girl headed to her locker and was stunned to see Quinn standing in front of it, very moodily holding her uniform and glaring at anyone who came within fifteen feet of her in the ten foot wide hallway.

Summing up her best bitch face Santana walked up to the blonde and stared stoically into her eyes. "What do you want?" She asked crossing her arms defensively.

Quinn seemed to falter for a second and her eyes flitted down the hall way. Santana instantly looked in the same direction and frowned when she saw Rachel watching them from beneath the hood of her jacket. Her eyes snapped back to Quinn at the exact same time Quinn's snapped back to hers and both girls glared a little fiercer. "Take this and consider yourself lucky," Quinn growled out shoving the uniform into Santana's hands and crossing her arms.

Still not trusting what exactly was happening here Santana kept her eyes locked onto Quinn's. "You don't change your mind Quinn. You're consistently a bitch," Santana drawled out carefully before glancing down the hall to see Rachel still watching them.

"I acted rashly yesterday," Quinn muttered, her jaw tight. "Do you want it or not?"

Santana's sense of pride was buffered by her intense desire to not get bitch slapped by slushies for the rest of the year and all she could do was nod at the girl.

"One provision though," Quinn said holding up a finger quickly. "Stay away from Berry if you want to keep that."

"The fuck?" Santana growled, her shoulders tensing up. "I'm working on a project with her Quinn so you're just going to have to deal."

"Fine," Quinn snapped angrily. "Work on the project and that is it. No smiling or laughing or hanging out with her. You're a Cheerio and the things you do reflect right back on me."

"What's so wrong with hanging out with the girl? She's a human being and surprisingly half decent. Turns out she doesn't deserve this shit," Santana defended weakly glancing back over at Rachel for a second. Turning back to Quinn she saw her hazel eyes flash with something resembling regret but just like that it was gone when the blonde's glare deepened and she stepped into Santana's personal space.

"Everyone knows that you and Brittany slept together and that is okay because Brittany is popular and nobody took it seriously. But this is different. Rachel is not popular and you're barely hanging in there. If you start hanging around her people will talk and come to their own conclusions, and I'll be damned if that affects me by association. Cheerios are not gay. Stay the hell away from her and I'll convince Coach to move you back up the pyramid." The words were whispered shakily and harshly into Santana's ear and the Latina felt anger and fear bubbling up into her chest.

Anger that Quinn had just basically trivialized the most important event into her life down to a joke, and fear that the girl was right. And something in Quinn's voice sounded startlingly familiar to Santana.

Santana wanted to tell the girl to fuck off. She wanted to slam her pretty little face into the wall. Last night had actually been okay. More than okay really. The brief time she had spent actually talking with Rachel had been the only respite her feelings about her life had encountered in so long.

But in the end the fear that had lost her Brittany won out. "Alright," she consented nodding her head sharply.

"Stay away from her Santana," Quinn ordered backing up and plastering on her best bitch face. And with that the blonde was storming off down the hall, her head held high as she passed through the crowd.

Biting her bottom lip against the sudden urge to cry Santana fingered the material of her uniform before turning around. Standing a few feet in front of her in the rapidly emptying hall was Rachel Berry, hair already wet. "So it all worked out then?" She asked eyeing the uniform.

"Yah Berry," Santana murmured looking up and down the now empty hallway. "Something like that," she nodded before turning away and heading off towards the locker rooms.

"Hey Santana," Rachel called out making the Latina stop in her tracks and look over her shoulder at the tiny girl. "I understand," she said before simply wrapping her arms around her self and walking off in the opposite direction.

Santana stood silently in the hall way for a minute after that, her hands tightly gripping her uniform and fighting back tears. "At least somebody understands," she murmured before heading off down the empty hall feeling more alone then she probably ever had.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Give Your Heart A Break  
Chapter: Three  
Author: J.R. Boone  
Rating: Wouldn't be me if it wasn't M.  
Disclaimer: Yada yada yada I obviously don't own Glee. If I did it would be like the musical version of The L Word.

* * *

Santana Lopez had never once in her life felt like a sell-out. When she thought something was fucked up she said or did something about it. It was how her Mami had raised her. It went against almost every fiber of her being, but the next morning at six a.m. when she slipped into her Cheerios uniform and pulled her hair up into a pony that is exactly what she felt like. A complete and total sell-out. And she hated it.

She hated it that Rachel Berry had gotten to her so damn fast that pulling her Lettermens on suddenly made her feel like a traitor. It was just all so fucked up so suddenly that it made her breathless.

By the time she was putting the finishing touches on her make-up she had moved into a desperate sort of reasoning with herself. Up until a few days ago she honestly had never even thought twice about Rachel Berry and their non-relationship.

She had liked it the way it was. They didn't interact besides slushies. They didn't hang out if it wasn't in the context of Glee. And they sure as hell didn't talk to each other unless it was to fling insults, mostly on her part.

It had worked out just fine for her. And as she pulled on her sneakers she was desperately trying to convince her self that it would work out just fine again. It could easily go back to the way it was, and in fact it had to.

If she wanted to be able to walk down the hallway with her head held high not worrying about slushies then she would have to play by the rules.

With the exception of Brittany, Santana Lopez was used to being figuratively alone in life. And Brittany had been gone from her life for almost a month now and she had managed to keep her self together just fine then. It had sucked yes, but it was livable. She didn't need anyone.

And she certainly didn't need Rachel Berry. A few moments of peace could not be responsible for derailing the life she had worked so hard and lost so much to protect.

Picking up her book bag the Cheerio trudged down the stairs, her mind mentally preparing herself for the day ahead of her.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee instantly caught her attention though when she reached for the door handle and she stopped, her lips quirking up into a smile. Freshly brewed coffee at this god-forsaken hour could only mean one thing. Her Papi was home from the hospital and awake to boot. A rare but unbelievably pleasant experience.

Banishing her worries to a little box in the back of her head the Latina instantly deposited her backpack on the floor and eagerly strode into the kitchen. "You're a sight for sore eyes," she chuckled when she saw her father, Santos leaning over the morning paper in a wrinkled lab coat.

"I can write you a prescription for that you know," Santos chuckled smiling widely as he looked up at his daughter.

"Really Papi? Pushing drugs on your only beloved child," Santana teased shaking her head as she made her way over to the table and quickly sat down next to him, her hands instantly grabbing his coffee cup and greedily pulling it to her chest.

"Really Mija? Stealing drugs from your only beloved father?" Santos joked as Santana instantly began sipping at the sweet drink.

"Yah well the crack that Puck's been getting is weak," Santana chuckled smirking widely as her father scoffed at her and put his paper aside.

"So my beloved daughter how has your life been in the last week since I passed you on the stair case and you grunted at me?" Santos asked grabbing one of the Cheerio's hands and folding it between his own.

"Ugh I'll be so happy when I graduate," Santana groaned putting her face down on the table and shaking her head.

"Don't be in such a hurry," Santos said laughing and squeezed Santana's hand lightly. "It'll be here before you know it and then you'll wonder where all the time went."

"Won't have to wonder," Santana grumbled turning to look at him but keeping her head down. "I'll know it was fifty percent Cheerios, twenty percent Glee, and thirty percent studying."

"And an extra ten percent spent being sarcastic to your poor old man," Santos said shaking his head and laughing fondly at his daughter's antics.

"I've got to keep you young somehow Papi. You just keep getting older all the time," Santana said smirking and squinting up at the man.

"Well I appreciate the effort to circumvent my aging process," Santos laughed throwing his head back before staring down at this daughter. "But seriously. Is everything going okay. I'm sorry I'm so busy these days."

"Every things fine," Santana murmured biting her bottom lip at the instant urge to cry and turning her head away. It was early and her emotions were hanging by a thread it seemed.

"Hey, hey none of that," Santos said quickly scooting his chair closer to the teenager and putting a hand on her back. "What's wrong Mija?"

"I'm just…it's a lot of stuff," Santana mumbled before taking a deep breath and looking back at her father. "Do you think…if Mom was here she would be proud of me?" She asked suddenly, trying to keep the insecurity out of her voice.

"Oh San, baby I think your Mom would be proud of you no matter what," Santos murmured, his voice gentle as he rubbed his daughters back soothingly.

"I don't think she would be. Not right now," the Cheerio mumbled sadly.

"Sweetie what's this about?" Santos asked shifting in his chair and laying his head down flat on the table next to Santana's until they were eye to eye.

Santana debated internally for a few seconds about how to respond to that very loaded question. The truth was she wasn't sure what wasn't wrong. She had lost the love of her life because she was a coward. The popularity that had once been her saving grace now seemed like a heavy burden. And today she was going to go to school and completely ignore the one person who had actually cared to ask if she was okay in what seemed like forever.

But she couldn't tell her father that. As much as he loved her she was so afraid of how he would react to her being a lesbian. She had already lost her mother, she couldn't risk losing her father now when she really, REALLY needed him.

So she settled on answering as vaguely as she could.

"Yesterday I made…a decision of sorts…and it feels like I'm selling out what I think I believe in because of it," the girl admitted weakly, her eyes lightly watering.

"Alright," Santos said slowly, his hand continuing to soothingly run up and down his daughter's back. "What you're getting out of this decision; is it worth it to you?"

"That's just the thing," Santana murmured. "I don't know if it is or not."

"What does your heart tell you Mija?" Santos asked softly.

"It's just as confused as my brain," the Cheerio sighed shaking her head against the cool wooden table.

"I can see your conundrum," the Doctor said nodding slightly.

"What do you think Mami would do?" Santana asked, her voice almost a whisper.

"That's an easy one," Santos said smiling softly. "Your mother was an amazing women Santana. And what made her so amazing was that she always stood up for what she believed in. I think if she found her self in a situation where she felt she had to sell out her beliefs in return for something else, she would have taken a deep breath and really thought about what she was giving up."

"What if it was something small; what she was giving up? Something that hadn't meant anything to her before but suddenly did?" Santana questioned, closing her eyes and leaning into her father's body.

"Hmm," Santos hummed softly, his hand reaching up to softly pet his daughter's head. "Do you know what your mother always said about small things Santana?"

"No," the Cheerio sighed out shaking her head sadly.

"She always said that the really great things in life. The things that really end up meaning something are always brought on by a bunch of small things brought together at just the right moment. Like for instance on the day we met if I hadn't decided to take the long way to work and she hadn't gotten a flat tire, well we never would have met and we never would have had you. I decided to take that route on a whim that day. It was a small miniscule decision brought on by practically nothing and it turned out to be one of the most important small things in my life." Santos explained softly, his eyes sparkling with memories and love.

"What should I do Daddy?" Santana asked, her voice small and pitiful as she soaked up the feeling of having her father's love surrounding her.

"I think," Santos starting by pulling his daughter up so they were eye to eye with his hands on her cheeks. "I think you already know what to do Santana. You've just got to realize it. You got more than just your looks from your mother, you got that special spark that made her so amazing."

"I really miss her," Santana said, her eyes watery as her father pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head.

"I do to baby. If she were here she would tell you that you do whatever makes you proud of yourself. That's what would make her the proudest."

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Cheerios practice was brutal and unsettling. But not in it's usual way. Normally it was a lot of yelling and sweating but because of yesterday and the conversation Santana had had with her father that morning everything seemed foggy and confusing.

Her brain and her heart were definitely not in and it showed immensely in her every move.

The unsettling part had been her interactions with Quinn. Just yesterday the blonde had been pushing every single button Santana had and a few she was unaware of, but today the blonde was acting as if she didn't even exist.

Sure a few words passed here and there as Quinn directed the girls into the pyramid position, but that was it. Any time their eyes met Santana received a blank look from the blonde that made her feel slightly queasy. It was the look Quinn often gave someone she considered a non-entity and it was unsettling to Santana. She was used to one of two looks coming from Quinn. Cautious camaraderie and more recently wary contempt.

As Santana trudged back towards the locker rooms she thought about it in her mind and came to the only logical conclusion. Whatever had made Quinn do what she did yesterday was obviously a closed issue to the blonde. The matter had been settled and in Quinn's mind it was going to stay there. And Santana could stay with it.

She was brought out of her inner musings at the feeling of someone catching up to her stride and she looked over slowly to see Brittany walking next to her, a bottom lip caught between her teeth and turmoil in the usually bubbly eyes.

"Hey San," Brittany murmured, her tone carefully restrained.

"Hey Britt," Santana mumbled back, biting her own bottom lip. She knew Brittany so well and she hated what the girl was more than likely doing to herself.

If there was one thing to be said about Brittany Pierce it was that she absolutely hated hurting people. Physical and emotional pain caused by her sent the blonde into a spiral of self-loathing that Santana absolutely detested.

She wanted Brittany to love her back yes, but more importantly she wanted the girl to be happy, and she realized as she watched the hesitant body language of the girl before her that she was failing miserably at that task.

Taking a deep breathe and steeling her self Santana playfully nudged the girl next to her and forced a smile upon her lips. "Hows that big fat cat of yours doing?"

She was rewarded instantly with a small but very real smile and the Latina simultaneously felt her heart twinge with pain and jump for joy. "He's doing okay," Brittany murmured softly. "And he's not fat, he's just big boned."

"Yah like Sylvester isn't bat shit insane, she's just a personality," Santana jested and smiled wide when the girl giggled.

"He misses you," Brittany murmured tiliting her head as the other Cheerios off in the distance walking into the locker rooms.

"He just misses me because I give him drags off of my cigars," Santana laughed shaking her head.

"Hey San," Brittany hummed, her tone once again bordering on too careful for how good of friends they were.

"Yah Britt?" Santana replied, her defenses rising just so slightly.

Brittany stopped and looked at the Latina sadly before staring down at the ground. "Do you totally hate me?"

"What?" Santana asked quickly, her eyes widening in panic. "What would make you think that Britt? I could never hate you."

"But I hurt you," Brittany mumbled, her chin starting to tremble as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Oh no Britt," Santana said shaking her head and pulling the blonde into a tight hug. "I hurt myself. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then why do I feel like I did?" The blonde asked, resting her head on the Latina's shoulder.

"Oh Brittany I'm so sorry," Santana said honestly when she felt hot tears roll down her neck. "I'm so sorry I made you feel like that. I just…I needed time."

"Do you still need it? Because I really, really miss my best friend," Brittany whimpered sadly.

Santana swallowed around the lump in her throat and thought about that question. She didn't want to lie to the girl and tell her everything was sunshine and rainbows when she was still hurting from it all. But at the same time she missed her best friend just as much. Brittany had always been a constant in her life since they were five years old and the blonde had kicked Puck in the shins for making fun of Santana's missing front tooth.

Taking a deep breath she pushed the girl away just enough until she could see her eyes and smiled softly. "I really, really miss you too Britt-Britt. I might need a little time here and there but I promise I won't need it all the time."

"Do you really mean that?" Brittany asked, her voice cautious.

"I really meant that," Santana whispered nodding her head and pulling the blonde back in for another tight squeeze.

Brittany smiled widely as she backed out of the Latina's arms and paused for a second to wipe her eyes before making Santana chuckle when the blonde let out a giddy squeal and threw her arms up in the air. The laugh turned into a heartfelt laugh when the blonde spun around like she had just won the lottery. Brittany always did know how to make a tense situation break.

Snorting at the blonde's antics Santana couldn't help but to poke fun. "Very sophisticated dance move there Britt, you should show it to Schuester."

"I totally should," Brittany agreed spinning around in a circle a few more times before stopping.

Santana smiled at her friend and felt her heart lighten up just a bit before the situation with Rachel banged against the walls of it's box and put her mood back down. Biting her bottom lip thoughtfully the Latina looked at her best friend who was watching her as if waiting for her to speak. Sometimes she could swear that Brittany was a mind reader.

"Brittany I want to apologize to you," Santana murmured rubbing the back of her neck. "I'm sorry that I made you feel like my dirty little secret, and I'm really sorry that I didn't have the guts to tell the whole world how I felt about you."

Understanding passed through Brittany's eyes in a flash and Santana sighed when a cool hand rested on her forearm and gave it a light squeeze. "It's okay San. I understand."

"I was a fucking coward," Santana murmured biting her bottom lip and forcing down tears.

"No you weren't," Brittany said quickly, her voice forceful and determined. "You just weren't ready yet. I don't blame you for it."

"I'm still sorry," Santana mumbled and then sighed as the taller girl pulled her into a hug.

"Well I know how you can make it up to me?" Brittany asked softly squeezing her and rocking them side to side.

"Anything," Santana quickly said looking up at the blonde and meaning it with all her heart.

"Just be you Santana," Brittany said smiling gently. "Not the mean popular girl but the girl who checked under my bed for monsters until she was big enough to cut off the legs of it with her dads saw so they couldn't get under it."

"That scares me," the brunette admitted shaking her head.

"It shouldn't," Brittany said looking down at Santana and smiling. "You're made of amazing Santana. I know that and the whole world should know that. I also know someday you're totally going to meet another amazing person and she's going to be perfect for you. This time just don't be afraid to show the world that. Let your combined amazingness turn into something epic and say forget to the haters."

"Do you think I'm strong enough for that?" Santana asked, her voice trembling with fear and uncertainty.

"Oh San," Brittany said pushing the girl away so she could look her eyes. "I think you're the strongest person I know."

Unable to hold her tears in any longer Santana flung herself back into the blonde's arms and sobbed rather loudly. "I've missed you so fucking much Brittany."

And Brittany simply held her in her arms and smiled. "I've missed you too Santana."

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The rest of the day passed as a blur for Santana as she walked from one class to another suddenly grateful for the fact that the entirety of the school was avoiding her like she was a nuclear warhead.

Still at lunch she was grateful for a reprieve when Brittany bounced up to her in the hallway and kidnapped her for Breadsticks. It was nice just being with the blonde and Santana realized as they fought over the last bread stick that she had really missed just this.

She wasn't anywhere near being over the blonde but it didn't hurt as much. They had needed that conversation this morning and now that it was over and done with Santana could finally see a future where they could be friends without it feeling like a knife to her heart. When they got back to school and Artie rolled up to them Santana had actually used the boy's last name versus "Wheels" in greeting before heading off to her class. She couldn't help but chuckle at the boy's startled look following her down the hall.

She hadn't seen Rachel at all that entire day but she knew that the girl was at school, if only by the puddle of liquid she had spotted by the petite brunettes locker. Her thoughts over the entire Quinn and Rachel situation were barely present today as she thought instead about the conversations that had passed this morning.

She had never in her life felt so torn before and she honestly didn't know what to do. She had walked down the halls at least half content in her uniform just three days ago but now it felt absolutely foreign to her body. For the first time it felt less like armor and more like just a damned uniform.

Just as she was heading into her last class of the day she heard her phone vibrate in her bag and she pulled it out to see a text from Rachel. After changing the girl's name in her phone from Manhands to Berry, and then to Rachel she opened it to see a very simple message asking her if she wanted to meet up in the library after school to work on their project.

Biting her bottom lip as she took her seat she glanced over to see Quinn staring out the window distantly, a frown on her lips and she sighed.

She wanted to see Rachel yes. But she wanted to see her on her own damn terms.

As if sensing her hesitation Quinn glanced over at her with the same empty look as before just as Kurt walked into the room, hair obviously wet from a slushy. The blonde looked at Kurt and then back to her pointedly and Santana sighed.

Before the second bell rang Santana texted back telling Rachel that the library would be good. Even the text message felt bad in her mouth and she hadn't actually said anything.

After an hour of zoning out completely Santana was so relieved when class ended that she quickly snatched up her belongings and shot out of the room like a bullet.

As the other students in the school began making their ways out of the building the Latina made a bee line for the library and instantly grabbed a table in the back of the room.

And waited.

And then waited some more.

Before she knew it fifteen minutes had passed and there was no sight of the tiny singer. Just as the Latina was starting to pull out her phone to text her she heard someone take the seat across from her and looked up to see Rachel.

The girl's hair was completely and so was her hoody. But even worse than that were the blood shot eyes looking apologetically at Santana coupled with an almost violent constant shiver. "I'm sorry I'm late Santana," Rachel mumbled, as she began to pull a book out of her bag.

A sudden flash of fury passed through the very core of Santana's body and she craned her head instinctively around the corner of the table to see a bag filled with soaked hoodies lying next to it.

Looking back up at the singer Santana took in a deep breathe. The small moments of the last few days culminating in her mind. It was time for Santana Lopez to make a decision.

* * *

Comments por favor! I need comments. Also if you're bored poke at me on my Tumblr. JRAbraxas


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Give Your Heart A Break  
Chapter: Four  
Author: J.R. Boone  
Tumblr: **JRAbraxas**  
Rating: Wouldn't be me if it wasn't M.  
Disclaimer: Yada yada yada I obviously don't own Glee. If I did it would be like the musical version of The L Word.

* * *

"Get up," Santana said already shoving her things in her bag and pulling off her lettermen's jacket.

"Excuse me?" Rachel asked looking at her wide eyed, her body completely still except for the ever present small shivers.

"Get up," Santana repeated walking around the table and pulling the petite girl up by her hands. Even as she spoke she was wondering what the possible repercussions for this would be but she shifted them to the back of her mind when Rachel gave her the tiniest of smile.

Gently the Latina hooked her fingers under the edge of Rachel's soaked sweaters and waited for the other brunette to nod in understanding. When she got that she swiftly peeled the soaked hoody off of the shorter girl and dropped it atop the bag of other slushied hoodies.

Santana was not prepared to feel heat rise to her face at the sight of Rachel's rather tight black shirt that showed off just the right amount of cleavage to be ridiculous, but that is exactly what the Latina felt. She must have been gawking because when she looked up she noticed Rachel was blushing bright red and had wrapped her arms around her midsection protectively.

Shaking the sudden influx of lust from her system Santana quickly snatched up her Cheerios jacket and wrapped it around the smaller girl's body. "Let's get out of here," she said grabbing her backpack.

"Wait," Rachel said putting her hand on the girl's tanned arm and squeezing slightly. "You know you don't have to do this Santana?"

"I know," she murmured before grabbing Rachel's backpack and slipping it onto the girl's shoulders. "I'm not just going to sit here and let you freeze to death while we study chemistry. I'd like to think even in the last few years I've never been that bad."

"You haven't," Rachel said shaking her head softly. "A lot of the other popular people…I think they do what they do because they're just horrible people who know they are going to be stuck in this town after graduation forever. But with you I always assumed that there was something deeper going and this was the only way you could protect yourself."

Santana was silent after the admission but she did nod sadly before leaning down to grab the discarded bag of slushied clothing. "Jesus Christ," she growled when she felt the weight of it. "This has got to be like thirty pounds. How many slushies did you get today?" She asked incredulously, her eyes wide as she put a hand to the small of Rachel's back and lead them out of the library.

"The one I got just before I came in here made it eight," the Diva murmured shaking her head. "For some reason the Baby Cheerios are all really upset with me today."

"No guessing there," Santana grumbled shaking her head as they walked out of the school and into the parking lot. "Quinn squelched on the whole car ride deal. Told them they had all failed."

"That would explain it," Rachel murmured looking over as they passed Quinn's silver convertible, the only one left in the student lot except for Santana's.

"I don't know why they would want to ride with her anyways," Santana said rolling her eyes as she unlocked her car. "Fabray gets here like thirty minutes before the rest of us to inspect the locker room. Considering we already have to be here hella early that just seems stupid." Suddenly she paused as a foreboding sense of realization washed over her. "Hey Berry, how the hell did you get to school today?" Santana asked looking curiously around the empty lot as she tossed the bag of clothing into her backseat along with her book bag.

"I walked," Rachel almost whispered as she sat down in the car next to Santana and wrapped the Cheerio's jacket tighter around her body.

"In this fucking weather?" Santana asked flabbergasted as she quickly started up her car and cranked up the heat to full blast. It was only October but they were in freaking Ohio. It was already down the forties and fifties daily.

"My car is in the shop," Rachel explained, her voice starting to sound drowsy as she nestled down into her seat and let the hot air warm her body.

Santana frowned over at the smaller girl's explanation. She was frowning because hello? Rachel weighed like twenty pounds and she didn't have one person she could call for a fucking ride to school. That pissed her off and what pissed her off even more was the fact that she most likely had a large part to do with that.

As the Latina was backing out of her space she spotted movement at the school and she craned her neck to see Quinn standing at the door they had just exited, her face obviously contorted into fury. Santana had the sudden urge to jump out of her car and start beating the ever loving shit out of the girl but a small snore made her look over and she smiled to see Rachel had nodded off. The exhaustion of eight slushies had obviously caught up with her.

Turning her head back towards Quinn she smirked when the blonde yelled something and slammed her fist against the wall, hazel eyes still directed straight at her. Rolling her eyes the Latina raised her hand and waved at Quinn before driving off the lot, extremely pleased with herself even if she was still fretting what would happen tomorrow.

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As soon as they got into Rachel's house Santana deposited their bags on the floor and sent the sleepy brunette upstairs to take a shower.

When the smaller girl was out of the room Santana wandered around the downstairs until she found a laundry room and she unceremoniously dumped the soiled sweaters into the washer for later. Looking around the room she saw a load of clothes done in the dryer and stared uncomfortably down at her Cheerio's uniform.

It felt wrong to be wearing it in this house after the day Rachel had had. Pulling open the dryer she sorted through the laundry and grabbed a pair of sweats and a black t-shirt. After quickly stripping out of her uniform and pulling on the sweats she shook out the t-shirt and stared slightly opened mouthed at it. It was simple in design really. Just the word pride spelled out in rainbow letters, but it was so bold…and it was Rachel's.

Quirking an eyebrow Santana tossed it back into the dryer and pulled out a plain black t-shirt, her mind warring on the discarded one. Rachel's fathers were gay so that was probably the reason why Rachel had it, but something in back of her mind was examining another explanation all together.

The sound of the shower stopping over head pulled Santana out of her musings and she quickly shut the dryer as if she had been caught doing something bad. Shaking her head the Cheerio switched on the washer and quickly made her way out of the laundry room to wait for Rachel to come back down the stairs.

Whilst she waited the Latina wandered into the kitchen and began poking through the diva's fridge, hoping to find something edible.

She had been expecting an array of fruits and vegetables and that's what she found, in addition to a number of vegan substitute things that just looked absolutely horrible. Pulling open the bottom drawer of the fridge she laughed loudly when she saw a package of bacon sitting by itself double encased inside zip lock bags and pushed far away from everything else.

In her mind she could just see the Diva raising a fit when no doubt one of her fathers brought it home and attempted to just put it in the fridge. She didn't doubt that if Rachel had access to a small bio-hazard bag the bacon would be safely tucked inside of it. Pulling it out she frowned slightly though when she noticed that the bacon was way past expired, like over a month ago expired.

Shaking her head she shoved it back in place and started pulling out the stuff for what she expected was going to be a very bad ass salad considering the many options. Just as she was chopping up some strawberries she heard a throat clearing and looked up to see Rachel wrapped up in a fresh sweater and a pair of thick flannel pants.

"Hey there Shorty," Santana chuckled at the girl's wide eyes. "Hope you don't mind I raided your fridge."

"No, I don't mind," Rachel said smiling softly and walking into the kitchen. "I'm just surprised you stayed. You really didn't have to," the shorter girl said stepping up the table and picking up a knife to start cutting the celery Santana had laid out.

"Yah, I'm not sure if you're aware but I'm not exactly the biggest social butterfly at the moment," Santana murmured sadly, shaking her head as she dropped the strawberries in the bowl and moved on to some spinach. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Rachel staring at her clothing. "Oh by the way. I hope you don't mind that I borrowed some of your clothes…my uniform seemed kind of awkward."

"That I definitely don't mind," Rachel quickly told her. "I actually prefer it. I like to keep my home life as separate from my school life as I possibly can." Santana might not have been the best on picking up on people's emotions but she could hear the appreciation in Rachel's voice. She couldn't help but mentally pat herself on the back for making the right decision.

"I can totes understand that, I feel like this year is never going to end and we're only a couple of months into it." Santana groaned, choosing to not make a big deal about her clothes change. Rachel obviously appreciated it and for that she was happy.

"The feeling is very much mutual," Rachel huffed shaking her head and tossing the celery into the mixing bowl.

Santana asked unceremoniously dropping the lettuce in the bowl before looking curiously around the kitchen. "So where do you keep the bowls?"

Rachel blushed and glanced over towards the dishwasher at this, "in there most usually," she mumbled.

Santana looked to the appliance and then back at Rachel's reddened cheeks before noting the height of all the cabinets and grinning. "Oh my god you're so short," she laughed without malice as she was pulling open the dishwasher door and grabbing two bowls and some forks.

"I am not short," Rachel grumbled fighting a smile. "I am a perfectly acceptable height."

"Whatever you say Shorty," the Cheerio chuckled before carrying the bowls over. "Bona petite," she said setting out the bowls as Rachel grabbed a couple of barstools and dragged them over.

"Hey Santana?" Rachel asked, her voice hesitant.

"Hey Shorty?" Santana mocked back, earning her a shallow glare from the girl before motioning for her to continue on.

"When you said this school years already been long what did you mean? I mean I know that Quinn has been…rather uncouth towards you for the last few days, but what about the rest of the year?" The diva asked, carefully picking her words.

"Correction," Santana sighed pouring some vinaigrette over her salad. "Q has been as you put it, uncouth to me for the last month."

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked, tilting her head curiously to the side.

Taking a bite of her salad Santana let herself think of the question for a moment. She didn't know Rachel all that well but so far the girl had been nothing but understanding towards her for the last few days. Normally she was a very stand-offish person when it came to discussing her personal life, but for some reason she felt…safe around the girl? Like she could talk about the shit bugging her.

Straightening up in her chair the Latina cleared her throat. "Okay so you know about Brittany and I…and you said you gathered that something went down between us right?"

"Yes," Rachel said nodding and leaning forwards across the counter.

"Well what went down is she broke my heart," Santana murmured sadly. "I mean I don't blame her for it in the least…but it still really sucked. Like really. I just…I waited to long to show her what she meant to me. I mean really meant to me. I kept her a secret."

Across from her a glimmer of empathy passed over the shorter girls face before turning into a frown. "What does that have to do with Quinn?" Rachel asked softly.

"Well you know I told Quinn about it. I was hoping for a little…I don't know? Support? Advice? And she inferred that I had made a good decision," Santana murmured chewing on her bottom lip.

"She said that?" Rachel asked, obviously upset as she stared down at her plate.

"Not in so many words," Santana sighed leaning back in her chair. "But I got the picture that she was happy that I didn't come out of the closet for some reason. Anyway ever since then Quinn has been purposefully pushing my buttons knowing that without Brittany around to balance out my shit I'll go loco and scare all the other children away. Why? Beats the hell out of me. I guess she suspects that now that I've lost Brittany I don't have a lot left to lose. I think she's trying to keep me from coming out."

"I can't believe she would do that," Rachel murmured, tightly closing her eyes and gripping the counter.

Santana realized that this was obviously hitting a nerve with Rachel. Part of her wanted to push deeper and find out if this had anything to do with the weird interactions between her and Quinn, but the other part was desperate to erase whatever was bothering the girl. The second part surprisingly won out.

"Yah, it's whatever I guess. Just Quinn Fabray being her usual fucked up little ball of sunshine," Santana snarked taking the last bite out of her salad. "Now come on. Let's not talk about it or I just might go loco."

Instantly Rachel's mood brightened and she nodded in agreement. "Yes let's not. Though seeing as your "loco" wouldn't be directed at me I might find it mildly amusing and justified." The Diva chuckled, actually making the finger quotes before taking the last bite of her salad and standing up to grab their bowls. "So do you want to work on our project?" Rachel asked moving over to the sink gingerly setting down the dishes.

Santana thought about that for a moment as well before dismissing it in favor of just hanging out with the girl. "Nah. The two of us could ace that thing if we did it the morning we had to turn it in. Wanna just hang out and watch a movie or something?" She asked, trying to keep her voice from sounding desperate for the girl to say yes. She really didn't want to go home to an empty house and think about tomorrow yet.

Instantly Rachel's face lit up in a warm smile and she nodded. "That actually sounds great. I'll admit besides sporadic moments with Kurt I've never actually just hung out."

A pang of guilt shot through Santana like a lightening bolt but she managed to school her face into an equally warm smile. "Then let's get to it Shorty," she said hopping up from her stool and making a beeline into the living room to study the Diva's movie collection.

"What are you in the mood for?" Rachel asked sliding up next to the Latina and making her shiver at the sudden closeness.

For some odd insane reason something in the back of her head screamed Romance and Santana almost had to literally throw her hand over her mouth to stop herself from saying it. Shaking her head and beginning to doubt her sanity the Latina went back to studying the selections and positively beamed when her eyes landed on The Addams Family Values. "Oh my god I fucking love this movie," Santana said grinning like a mad woman as she snatched up the DVD and held it against her chest. "Brittany's fat ass cat ate my copy of it last Halloween."

Rachel just grinned and plucked the movie out of the Cheerio's hands before kneeling down to set up the DVD player. "You know," she said conversationally as she popped in the disc. "Someone really should talk to her about acceptable feline dietary staples."

Santana laughed hard at this, holding up a hand as she plopped down on the couch and got comfortable. "You know I tried, and it worked for a little while, and then the tubby piece of lard ate a pack of my cigars and I just gave up trying to influence that particular aspect of his life."

"Oh god," Rachel snorted shaking her head and sinking down on the couch next to the Cheerio. "Does it make me a really horrible person that I just compared Brittany's cat to Finn?"

"No it makes you awesome, do tell?" Santana laughed facing the smaller girl and grinning maniacally.

"Well…he has a bad habit of eating things that are just…not right," Rachel shuddered as she fumbled for the remote that was stuck in between the couch cushions.

"Oh god please tell me. Please," Santana begged, pouting as hard as she could and grabbing the girl's arm.

"Well amongst the list of items I have personally seen him digest there is styrofoam cups, erasers off of pencils, bits of paper, and most recently I watched him eat a piece of plastic," Rachel listed thoughtfully.

"Oh my god that is hilarious," Santana cackled falling back onto the couch and holding her stomach.

Rachel was obviously holding back laughter and trying to take this entire thing seriously but one nudge from Santana's foot set her off as well. "It's not funny," she tried to defend through her laughter. "I looked it up. It's a real medical condition called Pica. I tried to tell him that but he just looked confused and made a vague reference to Pokemon."

"I'm sorry, it's just…it's Finn," Santana laughed sitting up and wiping away tears. "He's like this big popular guy who eats literally everything that comes close to his mouth and people still think he's a god. Why the hell did you ever date him again?"

At this Rachel sighed, her body still shaking slightly with laughter as she turned on the T.V. "You do uncharacteristically inane things for love."

"I guess," Santana said relaxing back down next to the diva as the DVD menu popped up. "But I'm for one fucking glad you're done with him. You're way to good for his shit."

Rachel's head instantly snapped to look at her and Santana's heart gave the tiniest jump at the smile stretching across the brunette's face. "Santana I think that is the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

Pushing down defensive emotional fucktard Santana for the moment, Santana smiled back at the girl and ducked her head slightly. "Well I meant it. He treated you like shit. Usually like he was ashamed of you. Which even I could see was idiotic seeing as you're easily the most likely to get out of this town and make a name for yourself. Idiot should have been on his knees thanking you for dating his ass."

Rachel eyes shined slightly with tears before the girl turned her head back to the screen and hitting play. "Thank you," she said, her voice wavering slightly.

Santana could literally feel the restrained gratitude rolling off of Rachel and she smiled easily. "Any time Shorty. I only speak the truth," the last sentence she sing songed, which drew out a large beaming smile from Rachel as the infamous theme song to the Addams Family started playing.

"Two musical references from you in less than a week. I'm beginning to believe that your caustic reputation is malarkey Santana. I really like this side of you," the smaller girl giggled, her eyes shining with genuine happiness.

Santana chuckled at this and reached behind them to pull a blanket over their laps in an attempt to distract from the self-satisfied smile she wore. "Yah well you're still wordy as fuck but I'm beginning to think your know it all prissy reputation is a bunch of b.s. too."

Rachel glared at the Latina for a second but Santana could see right away that there was no anger behind it. Suddenly leaning in close to the Cheerio, her face serious Rachel whispered almost conspiratorially, "we mustn't let the general population know about our true natures. It would cause complete anarchy in the hallways."

"Oh my god you're a dork," Santana laughed, her eyes wide as she pushed Rachel away from her, partly because her heart beat might have started to become erratic at the closeness. "Now shut up so I can get my Addams fix."

"Yes your surprisingly nice highness," Rachel teased sinking back into couch and smiling as a young Christina Ricci's voice filled the room.

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A little while later Santana smiled dreamily as her favorite scene of the movie played before them, and couldn't help but to quietly murmur to Rachel. "I love Morticia and Gomez's relationship."

"Oh I definitely concur," Rachel smiled as the couple on T.V. stood to dance the tango.

"I want to find love like that," Santana sighed forlornly.

"Ditto," Rachel smiled, her eyes reflecting the dance. "I would also love to be able to dance like that."

"What do you mean?" Santana asked quirking an eyebrow. "You're a great dancer already."

"Thank you," Rachel said nodding and smiling softly. "But I was talking about the style of dance they are doing. I would love to learn how to tango."

"Hold up," Santana said grabbing the remote and freezing the Addams mid dip. "Are you telling me Rachel Berry doesn't know how to do something Broadway related?" She asked incredulously.

"It's true," Rachel sighed turning to look at the Cheerio. "With all my acting and vocal classes I have taken over the years I've fallen short in my dance training. I mean I believe I am superb in ballet and jazz, but I've never taken more than a handful of ballroom dance classes." At this her eyes darkened and her voice became insecure. "It's actually something I worry about. Next year if I get into NYADA I'm afraid I'll be behind the other students in my class because of it."

"Oh wow," Santana said shaking her head, still recovering from slight shock. Suddenly a bright idea came to mind and she quickly sat up. Warring only very slightly with herself she decided to go for it. "I could teach you."

"You could teach me what?" Rachel asked, her forehead wrinkling in confusion.

Santana shook her head at this and laughed. "How to walk on the moon," she said sarcastically before standing up and grabbing the diva's hand. "Come on," she said pulling her off of the couch and towards the door to grab her backpack.

"What are we doing?" Rachel asked, looking over her shoulder at the movie as Santana drug her into the dining room.

Rolling her eyes Santana pulled out her laptop and quickly turned it on. Laughing at Rachel when she noticed the girl tapping her foot impatiently Santana made short work of pushing away the table and chairs before firing up her iTunes. "Come here."

Rachel seemed very dubious but she walked towards Santana and allowed the girl to take her hands. "You know how to tango?" She asked as Santana maneuvered her petite body into position very carefully.

"Duh," Santana chuckled nodding before going and hitting play and starting the tango that had just been playing on the movie.

Fighting down the sudden nerves bubbling up in her chest and the what the fucks running through her mind, Santana gingerly pulled Rachel's body against her own until their torsos were just barely touching.

Rachel stared up at her with wide eyes, a small smile gracing her lips and Santana felt her knees shake a little as she placed her right hand on the small of the shorter girl's back and gripped Rachel's right hand loosely, raising the both of them up into the air until their elbows were just slightly bent. "Now put your left hand on my right shoulder," Santana explained, smirking slightly at the rather adorably intense expression Rachel had on her face.

"Like this?" Rachel asked gently laying her hand on Santana's shoulder.

"Yah…like that," Santana managed to say keeping her voice light even though her heart was racing a million miles an hour and she was seriously questioning her own sanity.

"Now what?" Rachel asked, her eyes wide as she looked back to Santana's face with red cheeks.

"Okay," Santana said shaking her head slightly to ground her. "I'm going to slowly step forwards with my left foot, heel first and then toes. You need to slowly step backwards with your right foot landing your toes and then your heels. Got it."

"Yes," Rachel said clearing out her throat and looking down at their feet.

"Alright," the Cheerio started stepping forwards and smiling widely when Rachel stepped back perfectly. "Now I'm going to step with my right and you're going to step back with your left. Same concept." Again the move was performed perfectly. "Alright, here's where it gets tricky," Santana murmured, her eyes watching Rachel's smile in fascination.

"I'm ready," Rachel quickly answered, her eyes still looking down at their feet.

"Okay. I'm going to quickly step forward with my left foot, then immediately slide my right foot quickly to the right side and shift my weight to that foot. You need to mirror me, but backwards."

Rachel's smile vanished instantly and Santana chuckled at the determined yet confused frown that took it's place. "I promise it only sounds hard," Santana laughed before clearing her throat. "Just let me move you."

"I trust you," Rachel said chewing on her bottom lip, her eyes intense.

Again Santana's heart gave a slight lurch but the Cheerio shook it off before expertly moving their bodies using, her hips to guide Rachel backwards and then to the side. "See easy as pie," she murmured.

"What next?" Rachel asked, her voice sounding slightly husky and her cheeks reddening.

Taking a deep breath and ignoring her inner voice who was screaming a laundry list of suggestions Santana continued on with the instructions.

Soon she had gone through all of the steps with the exception of the dip, something that she was considering avoiding altogether because she knew that that would put their faces inches apart and the only reason she was gasping from confusion and arousal was because Rachel's eyes had mostly stayed directed at the floor.

Forgoing the dip for now Santana started to lead Rachel through the dance again, smiling when the girl became surer of herself and the dancing became more and more fluid. "You're an amazing dancer Santana," Rachel whispered, her smile awed as she glanced up at the Cheerio.

Instantly snarky, sarcastic, and sexual responses came to mind but Santana squashed them deep down and offered a simple thanks.

Within twenty minutes their dancing had begun to really flow and Santana was moving Rachel across the dining room as if the Diva had been born to tango. As they danced their bodies began pressing closer and closer together and Santana could feel Rachel's heart beating against her chest. As the music picked up the dance moved faster and faster until the girls were dancing circles around the living room, their breathing erratic.

When Rachel's eyes looked up at Santana the Cheerio sucked in deep gasp at the intense look the shorter girl was giving her. The diva's face was flush with exertion and her breath came out in tiny pants as her hand dug into Santana's shoulder. Caught up in the moment Santana dipped the smaller girl in her arms just as the music stopped.

The room was thick with obvious sexual tension and Santana's heart felt like it was about to burst out of her chest. In her arms Rachel stared up at her, her eyes burning intensely. Just as Santana was about to lean in and kiss her the sound of two cell phones broke through the silence and Rachel practically jumped out of her arms as Santana instantly righted her body.

Laughing awkwardly to break the tense air Santana rifled through her bag to find her phone. "That scared the shit out of me," she said grabbing the still ringing phone as Rachel pulled her own out of her pocket.

"I agree," Rachel said shakily, her face still red and her eyes flitting spastically around the room.

Unlocking her phone Santana didn't know whether to be intensely pissed off or intensely relieved that a Facebook update from Brittany had interrupted…well whatever the hell was about to happen.

Opening up the message she frowned slightly when she read the girl's status.

**Brittany Pierce: Are dolphins aware that they are just gay sharks? **_Brittany Pierce check in at Breadsticks Lima, Ohio with Artie Abrams, Quinn Fabray, and Sam Evans. _

Sighing at the slight sting of reading about her exes double date with the wonder bread twins Santana looked up to see Rachel staring down at her phone, her bottom lip quivering slightly.

"Hey are you okay?" Santana asked quickly stepping across the room and resting a hand on Rachel's shoulder.

Instantly the Diva plastered on a rough fake smile and stuck her phone in her pocket while shaking her head. "I'm fine. Just lost an Ebay Auction," Rachel quickly explained before striding back into the living room.

"Hey wait up," Santana yelled quickly running over to turn off her laptop before running back into the living room where Rachel had already sat back on the couch. "Are you sure you're okay. That seemed like a pretty big reaction for an auction loss."

"Sorry," Rachel said shaking her head as Santana sat back down next to her. "I tend to be over-dramatic sometimes."

Santana did not believe her at all. Obviously something had happened to make the girl look like she was moments away from crying. But it was also obvious that whatever it was the girl did not want to talk about it. Shoving down the feeling of sadness that thought gave her Santana decided not to push.

"Okay," she said simply leaving it at that before moving slightly closer to the shorter girl. "So how about that Tango?"

"You're an amazing dancer," Rachel said turning to her and smiling widely despite her reddened eyes. "How did you learn to dance like that?"

"Well I sat in on a lot of Brittany's classes for one. But more importantly my mother was an amazing dancer. She took me to all of her ballroom dancing lessons and taught me everything from the waltz to the cha-cha," Santana explained, smiling at the memories of long hours spent at her mother's studio.

"I would love to meet her sometime," Rachel said, resting a tiny hand on Santana's arm.

Santana frowned sadly at the girl and shook her head. "She died a few years ago."

"Oh Santana I'm so sorry," Rachel said scooting closer to the Latina and looking at her with wide apologetic eyes.

"It's okay, you didn't know," Santana murmured fighting the sudden urge to cry. "No one really knows but Quinn and Brittany."

"How did she die?" The diva asked, squeezing Santana's arm gently before pulling one of her hands into her own.

"A heart attack," Santana murmured shakily staring down at their joined hands. "She was always a super athletic person and she had an undiagnosed heart condition…it was too much on her body."

"So it's just been you and your father?" Rachel asked, her voice gentle.

"Yah," Santana nodded swallowing the lump in her throat. "Thankfully he's pretty amazing. He works a lot but he always makes time for me when I need it."

"I'm sure he's a great man; to take care of you during something that had to be hard. I would love to meet him some day," the shorter girl said softly before reaching over and handing Santana a tissue box.

"Thanks," Santana said, laughing in major embarrassment. "That could be arranged. He would love you no doubt." Throwing away the used tissues Santana leaned back into the couch and a sudden thought occurred to her. Glancing over at a clock at the wall that was nearing ten already. Frowning she turned back to Rachel. "Speaking of parents, when do I get to meet yours?"

"Oh," Rachel said sitting back quickly and sighing forlornly. "About that…"

"Rachel…what's up?" Santana asked, the hairs on the back of her neck standing up ominously.

Fidgeting with her hands Rachel sighed again before looking up at the Latina. "I might have over-exaggerated the relationship I have with my fathers over the last few years."

"What do you mean?" Santana asked frowning and moving forwards. Rachel seemed to war with herself for a few seconds before Santana set a hand on her arm and squeezed gently.

Taking a deep breath the shorter girl looked up at her, her eyes questioning. "I can trust you right?"

"Yes you can," Santana said quickly, not a sliver of doubt in her voice. "I know that that seems weird given our history but you can."

"Okay…" Rachel said nodding her head. "The truth is you probably won't meet my fathers any time soon. They…well the thing is they don't live here," Rachel explained, her voice trailing off at the end.

"What do you mean they don't live here?" Santana asked, swiftly straightening her shoulders and looking intensely at the brunette.

Sighing Rachel's shoulders slumped and the small girl fell back against the arm of the couch. "They live in Columbia. My daddy, Hiram works at a law firm there, and my dad, Leroy owns his own architectural firm."

"Wait so you just live here by yourself Rachel? Jesus how long has this been going on?" Santana yelled in shock, anger coursing through her veins.

Rachel had obviously given up on hiding it and it was evident when she shrugged sadly. "They started taking trips there during seventh grade and they made the permanent move a few days before Freshmen year started," she explained, her voice monotone.

"Jesus Christ," Santana growled, her mind running through just exactly what could happen to a small defenseless girl like Rachel living alone by herself.

"It's not all that bad," Rachel murmured chewing on her bottom lip. "They pay the bills on the house and once a month they deposit money into my savings account for whatever I need."

"Rachel you just told me your fathers basically abandoned you when you were fifteen years old. That's fucked up," Santana growled through gritted teeth.

"It is what it is," Rachel sighed sitting up and rubbing her temples.

The thoughts were running through Santana's head like a horror movie as she imagined what Rachel's life had been like the last few years, but one in particular made her feel as if she were about to throw up. All these years Rachel had been put through hell and each night when she should have gone home to loving parents who could at least try and make it better she had come home to an empty house. It was officially beyond fucked up at this point.

"I'm so sorry," Santana murmured shaking her head and grabbing one of the girl's hands. "If I had known…"

"I don't think it would have changed anything if anyone had," Rachel mumbled sadly. "It probably would have made things more difficult at school…you know ammo for the masses."

"No," Santana said shaking her head. "It would have made a difference. My mother…she didn't choose to leave me…but I lost a parent all the same. I know I would have done something different."

Rachel looked at her, her eyes shining slightly as a small smile curved her lips upwards. "You really mean that don't you?" She asked in slight awe.

"Yes, I do." Santana said nodding her head. And she did. With all of her heart.

"I…I really appreciate that Santana," Rachel said dipping her head and smiling. "I'm going to hug you now."

Santana had to laugh at this. She had heard stories of the Rachel's penchant for warning people. Lately everything they both had been doing seemed so unlike them that it kind of made her dizzy. But this was a classic a Rachel Berry move she had never gotten to see due to her own insecurities. "Okay," she laughed shaking her head and surprising the girl by pulling her into her own arms first.

It was a quick hug but it was probably one of the best hugs she had ever had and Santana was sad when it ended. Looking around the living room she sighed before turning back to Rachel. "You know I really don't feel comfortable leaving you here all alone now. You weigh like twenty pounds."

At this Rachel's eyes shined and the girl smiled. "I appreciate your concern Santana but I assure you that I am fine on my own. The house is equipped with a state of the art security system and I have a black belt in karate."

"Wait, wait hold up," Santana scoffed holding up a hand. "You mean to tell me you're a black belt. You, Rachel Berry, are a black belt?"

"Why is that so unbelievable?" Rachel pouted crossing her arms and glaring at the Latina.

"Oh I don't know, because you could fit in my pocket?" Santana teased shaking her head at Rachel's rather indignant pout.

"That's a laugh coming from Santana Fucking Lopez, ballroom dancing extraordinaire," Rachel teased back, uncrossing her arms and laughing when Santana became visibly huffy.

"You know I don't think I like you," Santana mumbled glaring at the shorter girl. "You're very not nice."

"Okay, I'm sorry," Rachel chuckled before her eyes lit up in an obvious idea. "How about a trade? You teach me all the ballroom dances you know and I will teach you all the karate I know?"

"I was just kidding you're fucking awesome!" Santana exclaimed eagerly at

the thought of learning an even better way to kick ass.

"I figured that would appease you," Rachel laughed shaking her head.

"Oh Shorty you know me so well," Santana laughed leaning forwards and ruffling the girl's hair.

"Not really…but I would like to," Rachel murmured suddenly serious as she looked down at her hands.

"I think I would like that too," Santana said swallowing the sudden feeling of butterflies in her throat.

"Really?" Rachel asked, her head tilting to the side and her face clearly eager.

"Totally," Santana said nodding. "You're kind of a secret badass."

"I appreciate the compliment," Rachel giggled sinking back into the couch.

"I'm curious," Santana said sitting up and staring at Rachel. "You're not like this at school and these days you're not like you were at school. What's up with that?"

"Like I said," Rachel hummed. "I like to keep my home life and school life separate…it keeps things…I guess easier if I can just come home at the end of the day and have everything be how I want it."

"Fair enough," Santana said nodding before standing up and stretching out her muscles. "Are you sure you're okay here alone?" The Latina asked looking around the empty house.

"I'm sure," Rachel said nodding softly before standing up as well. "Santana I really want to thank you…I…you didn't have to take me home today and you didn't have to stay and hang out with me but you did. Why is that?"

Santana sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth and thought about that for a good moment. To tell the truth she wasn't exactly sure why she had done that, but seeing Rachel standing in front of her and realizing that the last four or so hours had been the best night of her life in years an answer suddenly came to her.

"I guess…I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that I wanted to. And I wanted to because you asked me a couple of days ago if I was okay even though you didn't have to. Even though it was obvious seeing me in the choir room made you slightly uncomfortable. My…well my Mami…she had this saying about small things. Little moments that add up. I just…I think inside I wanted to do what she would have wanted me to do because I haven't done that in the last few years. In fact I've done the complete opposite because I've been terrified of my own big gay shadow…so short answer; because I wanted to." It was a lengthy explanation, probably up there with Rachel's penchant for ramblings. At first it was wavering but towards the end Santana found her voice and squared her shoulders, meaning every word she was saying.

Rachel looked at her intensely, her eyes shining with emotion before she stepped forwards and wrapped her arms around the Latina. "I think you're mother must have been an amazing women to raise such an amazing daughter," she said gently tightening her arms around the taller girl.

"I haven't been all that amazing," Santana sighed sinking into the comfort of the diva's arms.

"Well tonight you have," Rachel said looking up at her and smiling widely. "And you said your mother said small things add up. Maybe this will add up to all of the amazing you can be."

"Maybe…I really hope so," Santana murmured squeezing the girl in her arms tightly before stepping away. "Hey Rachel," she said when she put her hand on the door knob.

"Yes Santana?" Rachel asked looking at her searchingly.

"I know you said you're okay here alone but text me if you need anything all right. I might not know karate but I've got a bitching aluminum baseball bat I stole from Puck a few years ago," Santana mumbled dipping her head slightly.

"I'll keep that in mind," Rachel giggled as Santana stepped out into the cold air. "Oh wait your jacket," she shorter girl said grabbing the Cheerio's lettermen.

"Keep it tonight," Santana said crossing her arms slightly and digging her keys out of her bag. "I'll get it tomorrow at school…you'll have your car right?"

"I should yes," Rachel said nodding shyly.

"All right then Shorty, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Santana," Rachel said a wide smile on her face as Santana ran out towards her car a very stupid grin plastered on her face.

Getting into her car she smiled even wider when she saw Rachel watching her pull out from the still opened door. She was positive even the panic about tomorrow wouldn't set in until it was actually tomorrow, right now? Totally worth it.

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The panic was indeed high the next morning, but the Latina walked confidentially down the halls none the less. Her eyes staring straight ahead as she headed to Rachel's locker and smiled when she saw the shorter girl holding her Cheerio's jacket over one arm.

After a quick good morning and making plans to hang out again after school the Diva raced off after hearing the first bell and Santana turned feeling eyes on her. Across the hall Quinn stood, her arms tightly crossed in front of her body, and her eyes cold.

Santana stared back at her, not breaking the gaze even as random students passed between them. She was expecting one of two things. Either Quinn was going to come across the hallway and literally rip her uniform off of her body, or every jock and cheerio in the school was going to suddenly appear with slushies.

Instead she got neither. Quinn looked as if she was about to start yelling when the blonde's eyes shot down the hall and immediately flicked back to Santana before shooting her one last glare, clenching her jaw, and walking away.

When the blonde was out of sight Santana looked in the direction she had looked to see an empty hallway. But she had a simple theory about what had caused Quinn to retreat. Rachel Berry.

* * *

So references in this chapter are obviously The Addams Family and the fact that Gomez and Morticia are clearly the best couple of all time, hands down.

I reference the disorder known as Pica not with the intent of making fun of it so please no flames. Truth be told I seriously ate paper till I was like twelve and my mother had the good sense to take me to a pediatrician.

And as for the musical Santana reference? First person to guess correctly totes gets a shout out in the next chapter.

As always please review if you don't mind! And add me on Tumblr so we can become buddies if you want!


	5. Chapter 5

Author: J.R. Boone  
Chapter Five  
Rating: It wouldn't be me if it wasn't M.  
Disclaimer: Yada, yada, yada, I don't own Glee or any of its characters. Just borrowing them. Also the song used is Kelly Clarkson's "Where Is Your Heart"

**EASTER EGG WINNER!  
The song Santana quoted was from Moulin Rouge. "_I only speak the truth."_ A lot of you guys got in completely right but the first person to hit the nail on the head was _piecesofyourheart__! _For being made of awesomesauce you win my undying love and admiration!  
**

* * *

Three weeks had passed now since hanging out with Rachel and in some ways a lot had changed and in some ways a lot hadn't.

Nearly every evening after running home to change out of her Cheerio's uniform Santana would head over to the shorter girls house to hang out. These nights were only interrupted by the two or three nights Rachel had one of her various dance/acting/singing classes. It was kind of sad how much Santana disliked those nights because they usually meant she ended up sitting home alone on her couch watching reruns of The L Word and over thinking things. But she couldn't fault the shorter girl for them, not when Rachel was always so obviously excited about her lessons.

But the nights the two girls did spend together were amazing in Santana's eyes. In Rachel she had discovered an almost perfect friendship. It wasn't forced, there were no feelings of doubt or suspicion, and she felt comfortable talking to the girl about things she hadn't even talked to Brittany about.

Each night the girls would usually kick off by at least attempting to work on their project, it usually lasted all of ten minutes to tell the truth.

After their laughable attempts at being responsible they would sink down into the coziness of Rachel's over-stuffed couch and pick a movie at random to watch. Usually a horror but on one occasion Rachel had somehow finagled the Latina into watching Funny Girl, a movie she now had a begrudgened fondness for.

After that the girls would usually eat, more often then not delivery from one of the multiple places in Lima.

After that was the best part. Karate and dance lessons. Rachel hadn't been kidding when she said that she was a black belt. Their first lesson Santana had made the mistake of underestimating the petite brunette and she had landed on her ass several times. The dance lessons had been going great as well, although they weren't even a fraction as sexually charged as the tango had been.

Both girls were holding themselves back, that much was obvious. Their touches were light and sometimes too careful, and their eyes stayed down, almost as if they were afraid to look at each other.

Santana honestly had no clue what Rachel's deal was, but she knew exactly what her own was.

She was ashamed of herself.

Like she said a few things hadn't changed and the major one was school. She knew what she should do, and she knew what she wanted to do, she just didn't know what to do.

Every morning after practice she would head to Rachel's locker before the halls started to really fill up to make plans for the evening. They would laugh and talk about what they had done the night before and it was a continuation of the sheer perfectness that their friendship was.

But then the halls would start to fill up. Students would start to mill around them, buzzing about their own lives and plans for the days, and slowly Santana would start to pull away from Rachel as more and more people came into their view and more importantly began to view them.

Rachel had the good grace to not mention it, but it was an unspoken thing. Santana was perfectly happy to hang out with Rachel after school until she was just pushing her curfew, but she still wasn't ready to be seen even talking to her at school; where every move she made was watched by the masses salivating at the chance to knock her down the rest of the way to the bottom.

As more and more students began to mill around them Santana would start to balk, her face would become stonier, and eventually she and Rachel would go their separate ways.

After that they didn't see each other literally for the rest of the day. Like not even a glimpse until the last bell rang with the exception of their shared Chemistry class, and even then, even though they sat at the same desk they might as well have been complete strangers.

Santana knew it wasn't a coincidence in the least that they never saw each other at school. She knew without have to ask that it was Rachel's doing. It was painfully obvious that the shorter brunette purposefully never put herself in the same vicinity as Santana so that the Latina wouldn't feel guilty when they passed in the halls and all she could do was stare straight ahead or worse be pressured into saying something hateful. But it did make her feel guilty; guiltier than almost anything she had done in her life.

It made her feel horrible and ashamed and so angry with herself that she could barely stomach it every time she passed by Rachel's locker and noticed a fresh puddle of sticky corn syrup left on the floor. Every day she sat quietly at the Cheerio's lunch table and listened as various Cheerios who didn't know a thing about the girl made fun of her and told stories about what they had done to her that day, it was only a small saving grace that Quinn rarely ate in the lunch room.

Santana felt like she was living two different lives. The one at school where she was the bitchy cheerleader who followed the crowd and did what was expected of her; and the one after school when she very quickly was becoming addicted to Rachel Berry's company. Most mornings the "after school life" was the only reason she got out of bed to live the "at school life", and most mornings she could barely stand to look at herself in the mirror when she tightened her pony tail.

This morning was no exception and by the time she had showered after practice and made it to Rachel's locker she was already feeling the guilt bubble up in her chest.

"Hey there Shorty," Santana mumbled sliding up next to the brunette and holding her books tightly against her in her arms.

"Morning San," Rachel chirped smiling at the Latina as she continued to shuffle around in her locker for her books.

Rachel was in a good mood obviously. All smiles and happy eyes. Actually this was probably the best mood she had ever seen Rachel in on school grounds. Inside Santana knew what this meant, but she decided to question it anyways. "So we hanging out tonight."

Rachel smiled sadly and shook her head. "Sorry San. I've got a dance class tonight."

"I figured as much," Santana chuckled softly. "I can usually tell by your mood."

"I like that you notice things like that," Rachel said dipping her head slightly and looking back into her locker.

"Kind of hard not to. Actually you kind of look like you're more excited than usual. Any reason?" Santana asked slowly. Suddenly imagining a boy or girl (she still hadn't exactly got a hold on Rachel's sexuality) in the dance class tonight that had Rachel so worked up.

"No reason in particular," Rachel mumbled, her cheeks flushing bright red. "Just…a dance class that I have been waiting on all week."

"Alright," Santana said frowning slightly. After nearly a month of being friends with Rachel she could tell when she was getting a show smile. She got them more than she would have liked. Mostly on the night of her sporadic classes (seriously they seemed to have no set schedule or something) and any time Quinn was brought up in conversation. Her lips would always be curved up wide but it never met her eyes. Shaking her head slightly Santana looked around and started to see people pouring into the hall way and she instantly tensed up and put a few more inches between herself and Rachel.

Looking up as well Rachel saw the other students beginning to mull around them. Shoulders slumping a little the shorter girl smiled never the less at Santana. "I'll definitely be free tomorrow night. I'm thinking the waltz and kicking lessons."

"You're on Rach," Santana said smiling lightly, making sure that her face was turned completely to Rachel. "I'll see you in Glee?"

"See you then," Rachel said still smiling her obviously fake smile before diving back into her locker.

Sighing to her self Santana took a moment to plaster on her bitch face before turning around and marching through the quickly crowding hallway to find her locker. As usual she kept her eyes straight ahead of her but gave a small pause when she noticed Quinn standing next to her locker. Slowing down just a beat she squinted and felt mild surprise when she saw something easily resembling a genuine smile on the girl's face as she stared down at her cell phone. As if the girl could feel eyes on her she quickly schooled her features whilst shutting her phone and staring challengingly at Santana.

Not feeling up to starting a fight Santana simply held her hand up slightly to wave before she continued on her path.

The look of genuine happiness on the blonde's face confused Santana and for the majority of the day it was at the back of her mind. She could only count maybe two or three times she had seen that look of happiness on that particular face. It was at once unsettling and slightly amusing.

At lunch she skipped out on the Cheerio's to go to Breadsticks with Brittany and was relieved when the blonde asked if they could hang out tonight.

For one she wouldn't be spending a lonely night at home again. And for two she really really did miss her best friend. Things had been running smoothly between them for the last three weeks, but this was the first sign that things were right between them again. Even though a part of her still did love Brittany it didn't hurt as much any more. She didn't feel that sting whenever the blonde talked about some sweet thing Artie had done. She only felt happiness for her best friend. It was very freeing.

The day passed much the same as it always did up until school ended and they all started to head for Glee. This weeks "lesson" that Schue had no doubt come up with by dictionary dipping was the word "heart". Santana was just about to walk into the choir room and prepare herself for a multitude of bad love songs when she felt a small hand grip her elbow.

Turning around she saw Rachel looking up at her and she felt her heart give a dramatic lurch. All the smiles and happy eyes that had been present this morning were obviously gone, and the girl standing in front of her looked exhausted and sad. "What's wrong?" She asked quickly pushing the girl around the corner and staring into her red rimmed eyes.

"Just a…very long day," Rachel murmured ringing her hands between them and sighing.

"You look like you just fought in a war," Santana scoffed, pushing back the girl's black hoody and growling when she saw soaked brown hair.

"Something like that," Rachel murmured before closing her eyes and shaking her head. "I was just wondering if you still wanted to hang out tonight…my class got…canceled."

Santana frowned deeply at this. It was obvious that whatever was hurting the diva right now was a lot more intense then a canceled dance class. She was just about to tell the girl that she had made plans with Brittany which she could cancel when said blonde suddenly appeared, a wide smile on her face.

"Hey San, hey Rachel," she said bouncing slightly in place.

"Hey Britt," Santana said attempting to smile at the blonde despite the tense situation.

"Hello Brittany," Rachel murmured wrapping her arms around her body protectively and leaning against the wall.

"San I'm really sorry but I have to cancel tonight," Brittany said frowning slightly before smiling. "Artie's dad got free tickets to the carnival in Columbus and he asked to take me."

"That's okay Brittany," Santana said smiling fondly and patting the girl's arm. "I know how you feel about carnivals."

"It's the cotton candy. It's my cryptonym," Brittany said blushing wildly and bouncing even more in place.

"You mean Kryptonite," Santana laughed shaking her head softly.

"Yah that," Brittany hummed. "Anyways I, Artie, Sam, and Quinn are leaving an hour after Glee is over and we're not going to be back until really late."

"Well have fun with the wonder twins," Santana joked shaking her head in amusement as Brittany jumped on a passing Artie's lap and waved goodbye at them.

Turning back to Rachel, Santana's smile was instantly erased when she saw large tears rolling down the girl's cheeks. "Hey, tell me what's wrong," Santana said quickly stepping up to the girl.

"It's…it's nothing," Rachel said shaking her had quickly and attempting a half-hearted smile. "So tonight?"

"Yah that sounds good," Santana murmured searching the diva's eyes imploringly, as if they would communicate why her best friend was crying like someone had told her Barbara Streisand was dead.

"Just come over when you're ready," Rachel said quickly stepping around Santana and heading into the choir room.

"Fuck," Santana groaned to her self, massaging the back of her head as she followed the girl in.

Taking her usual seat in the front next to Brittany, the Latina spent the next thirty minutes staring over at Rachel. She had to say that the girl was a supreme actor. Anyone who didn't know her would believe that Rachel was fine. She was quiet, has had become the norm for her but she was still smiling, still swaying along as person after person got up to sing.

Only towards the end of the class when Quinn and Sam got up to sing a nauseating version of "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" did Rachel's smile begin to falter. By the end of it, as everyone applauded the couple who had their arms wrapped around each other Rachel's face, just hidden underneath her hoody was obviously the face of someone holding back tears.

Santana wished with all her fucking heart that she could slide into the empty chair next to the diva and just let her cry. She wished everyone in the room would just get the hell out. She wanted to scream at all of them to do just that. But she didn't. She stayed in her seat and watched.

Rachel had the last slot and Santana watched closely as the girl walked over to the band and quickly whispered something to them. Their faces were confused and so was Santana's as they put down their instruments. Rachel had been practicing all week to perform "Open Your Heart" by Madonna and that song definitely required the band who were currently packing up their instruments even as Rachel whispered in Brad's ear.

"Rachel?" Mr. Schue asked his brows furrowed as the band started filing out of the room.

"I hope its okay…but I changed my song," Rachel murmured stepping in front of the group and pushing back her hoody. "It's still following the assignment though."

"If you're sure," Schue shrugged leaning back in his seat.

Santana frowned when Rachel nodded to Brad and a very haunted melody started pouring out of the baby grand. A harsh intake of breath caught her attention and she looked over her shoulder to see Quinn's eyes staring straight at Rachel with a look of fear in them. Just as quickly as it had appeared though the blonde schooled her features and leant into Sam's body, her hand grabbing his and beginning to play with his fingers.

The sound of Rachel's voice filling up the room turned back Rachel's attention and her frown deepened as the words washed over her.

_I don't believe, in the smile that you leave, when you walk away, and say goodbye. Well I don't expect the world to move underneath me. But for God's sake could you try? I know that you're true to me. You're always there. You say you care. I know that you want to be mine._

_Where is your heart? 'Cause I don't really feel you. Where is your heart? What I really want is to believe you. Is it so hard to give me what I need? I want your heart to bleed. That's all I'm asking for. Oh, where is your heart?_

Santana's heart raced rapidly at her chest at the power of Rachel's voice, and the obvious feeling she was putting into the words. Looking around she saw the rest of the group just as spell bound as she was, their eyes large and jaws dropped. It was singularly the most real song Rachel had ever seen. You could literally feel the vulnerability and hurt pouring out of her petite frame. Everyone was watching except for Quinn, whose eyes were trained on Sam's hand as if looking at Rachel would have killed her.

_I don't understand your love is so cold; it's always me that's reaching out, for your hand. And I've always dreamed that love would be effortless. Like a petal fallin' to the ground; a dreamer followin' his dream._

_Where is your heart? 'Cause I don't really feel you. Where is your heart? What I really want is to believe you. Is it so hard to give me what I need? I want your heart to bleed. That's all I'm asking for. Oh, where is your heart?_

By the time the music began to swell for the refrain Rachel had tears pouring down her cheeks, but her posture was rigid and sure and her voice was strong and loud, not even a hint of a waiver. Her brown eyes were wide and expressive as they darted around the room, not looking at anyone for too long. But Santana, who was watching Rachel with an intensity she had never known did see when the girl's eyes lingered on Quinn for just a moment longer than the rest.

Standing up straight Rachel looked doubled in size as she delivered the last of the song.

_It seems so much is left unsaid, so much is left unsaid. But you can say anything, oh, anytime you need. Baby, it's just you and me. Oh yeah. I know that you're true to me. You're always there. You say you care. I know that you want to be mine.__  
_  
_Where is your heart? 'Cause I don't really feel you. Where is your heart? What I really want is to believe you. Is it so hard to give me what I need? I want your heart to bleed. That's all I'm asking for._ _Oh yeah. Where is your heart? 'Cause I don't really feel you. Where is your heart? What I really want is to believe you. Is it so hard to give me what I need? I want your heart to bleed. That's all I'm asking for. Oh, where is your heart?_ _Where is your heart?_

As the music faded out most of the Club was on their feet congratulating Rachel. But Santana sat back in her seat half entranced by the emotion that had just been on display and half just plain confused.

She hadn't pushed the issue with Quinn the last few weeks for three reasons. One because doing so would be bringing light to the fact that she was still obviously a coward where school was concerned. Two because honestly in the privacy of Rachel's house the girl almost always seemed bubbly and energetic and Santana was loath to possibly ruin that. And three because Rachel was her best friend and part of her didn't trust her own self to not use whatever information she got from Rachel to her advantage.

It had stayed mostly in the back of her mind as a small puzzle that nagged at her occasionally but she really didn't do too much about because it was easier that way.

But this was too much for the Latina. Obviously something was going on with Rachel and it involved Quinn. And it was very obvious that whatever was happening was causing Rachel a great deal of emotional pain.

Suddenly like she had just been hit with a bat Santana realized that this whole thing was not fucking okay with her anymore. This whole sitting back while her friend was hurting wasn't the person Santana wanted to be anymore. She had already done this and she had lost Brittany because of it.

Pushing back the urge to shove everyone out of the room so she could question Rachel about everything, Santana stood up from her seat and walked to the middle of the room where Mr. Schue was enthusiastically congratulating Rachel on her number.

"Rachel I have to say that was awesome, and you just decided on this song today?" Schue asked smiling down at the girl widely.

"Yah a few hours ago," Rachel said ringing her hands in front of her and accepting the compliments quietly.

"I have to say Diva that you just rocked the hell out of Kelly Clarkson," Mercedes said tapping her on the shoulder in a genuine show of appreciation.

"Thank you Mercedes," Rachel said nodding her head slightly. "I loved your performance of "My Heart Will Go On".

"You know I got to get my Whitney on, god rest her soul," Mercedes said smiling upwards and nodding her head.

Just as Santana was about to throw her two cents in and hopefully hurry along the group she heard Quinn growl at Sam. "Can we just get out of here now?" The girl asked standing up, her arms crossed and glaring at her boyfriend who was discussing his song choice with Puck.

The blonde boy frowned at his girlfriend slightly. "We don't have to leave for another hour."

"Well I don't want to be in this room hearing them all fawn over Manhands like she's the greatest thing in the world, so we're going now," Quinn growled storming through the group and grabbing Sam by the sleeve.

"Okay," Sam mumbled looking apologetically at Rachel as Quinn drug the boy out the door, stopping only once to glare at Rachel.

"I guess that's our cue to leave as well," Artie sighed rolling over to gather his and Brittany's things.

"Bye Rachel," Brittany said suddenly pulling the shorter girl into a tight hug. "You should totally sing more. You sang like all the time the last two years when you weren't talking and it was awesome. But you shouldn't talk as much as you did the last two years because you're confusing sometimes. But you can talk like normally all the time. And sing."

Santana had to fight back a laugh at the red look plastered across Rachel's face. Having known Brittany for as long as she had Santana completely knew that look. It was one part oh my god I can't breath. One part, what exactly did she just say and was that an insult? And one part is that her hand on my ass? Because I think that's her hand on my ass. Santana had to give her credit though when she managed to wheeze out a thank you to the blonde still squeezing the life out of her.

"Okay Britt Britt, you're about to kill Rachel there," Santana said shaking her head and smiling as she pulled Brittany away from Rachel.

"Sorry," Brittany chirped still smiling widely. "I forget my own strength a lot of the time."

"That's quite all right Brittany," Rachel said smoothing down the front of her hoody and sucking in relieved breaths as Brittany started pushing Artie out the door.

"I'm not sure I understood all of what she just said but I'm pretty sure she was right," Kurt said pulling the shorter girl into a quick hug. "You have been rather quiet this year as of far."

"Why is that?" Mercedes asked quickly.

Santana scowled at the two Divas. To anyone else it might have looked like they were legitimately interested. But she knew that little glimmer in their eyes meant they were searching for gossip and that pissed her off. What pissed her off more was when Rachel simply shrugged and smiled at them weakly. "Just trying out something new I guess."

"Well keep it up," Mercedes said as the group all started making their way out of the room.

Sucking in a deep breath Santana quickly walked up to the shorter girl as she was packing her bag up. "So we're on to hang out then?"

"Yes we are," Rachel said standing up quickly and nervously eyeing Mercedes and Kurt who had stopped leaving and were watching them from the open door with twin looks of shock and confusion.

"Ignore them," Santana quickly murmured shaking her head and balling up her fists. "I'll be over as soon as I get changed out of my uniform."

"O-okay," Rachel stumbled, her eyes still flitting between Santana and Kurtcedes.

"Stare much," Santana snapped turning her head to glare at the divas.

"I'm sorry but are you two making plans to hang out as in be in each other's presence outside of this room?" Mercedes asked her head cocked to the side.

Santana was about to start screaming at them to get the fuck out but Rachel cut her off. "We're working on a chemistry project together," the shorter girl quickly supplied before looking back to Santana. "I'll see you tonight," she said before practically bolting out the other door.

Cursing softly to her self Santana rubbed her face in frustration. It was obvious that Rachel had thought that she thought they were alone and that's why Santana had approached her. It was even more obvious that the shorter girl thought she was ashamed to be seen with her. Snapping at Kurt and Mercedes like she did probably reinforced that thought process. She had sounded ashamed. Not protective like she had meant to come across. Just ashamed. And what was worse Rachel had seemed okay with that. Like she expected it.

Groaning she rubbed the back of her neck and looked at the divas still staring at her like she was a side show attraction. "Get out of my way," she growled before pushing them aside and heading to her locker.

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Santana was racing down her stairs when the door swung open and her father walked into the room shaking off the snow on his shoulders as he sat down a few bags of groceries.

"Hey Papi," she said smiling widely and pulling the man into a sort of half hug thing as she attempted to pull on her sneakers, impatient to get over to Rachel's house.

"What's this?" Santos gasped, clasping his heart in mock wide-eyed surprise. "This lovely young woman couldn't be my little Santana. My little Santana hasn't seen her father in three days so surely she wouldn't be running out of the house without even properly hugging her poor old father!"

"Ha-ha," Santana said rolling her eyes and throwing her coat back on its hook before wrapping her arms around her father. "You're so funny Papi," she said humorously giving the man a tight squeeze before moving back to grab her jacket.

"No Mija, I'm hysterical, it's a Lopez thing," her father teased pulling off his own jacket and tossing it in his daughters face.

"Jerk," Santana grumbled pulling the sodden material away from her face and hanging it up on a hook.

"So my dear little angel, where are you heading off to in such a rush and will it cost me money?" Santos joked as he helped his daughter pull on her coat.

Santana frowned at the question. She had been heading over to Rachel's every night now for weeks but due to their often conflicting schedules she had never mentioned it to her father before. Now she was wondering whether she should.

In Lima, Ohio mentioning the Berry surname was like a homophobia test. Being the only openly gay couple in the town made them an anomaly. Having a daughter to boot only fueled the fire for discussions around coffee. Although, she thought bitterly in her head, obviously not enough discussion to realize they had abandoned their daughter when she was fourteen.

She tried to rack her brain to remember if her father had ever registered his opinion on the Berry men or homosexuality at all for that matter. The topic of sexuality had never been too thoroughly discussed in their household to tell the truth. It had just never seemed like a big deal. It was part of what made her so afraid of coming out to her father in the first place. She hadn't a clue of what to expect because she had no point of reference on the subject from him.

Maybe this was a way to gauge how he would react?

She realized she had been too quiet for too long when her father tapped her on the shoulder. "Please tell me you're not adding up how much money you're about to cost me in your head. I promise the mall is open year round Mija."

"Sorry," Santana said shaking her head and taking a deep breath. "I kind of got lost in thought. Anyways…I'm going over to a classmate's house to work on a project for chemistry…um Rachel Berry," she said nervously biting her bottom lip and watching her father closely.

To her relief Santos smiled widely at the information. "That's great. I haven't seen that girl since she was, god a little over a year old," he said shaking his head in disbelief.

Santana's eyes opened comically wide but she tried to keep her voice steady. "What do you mean?" She asked carefully.

"Oh Hiram Berry and your mother were the best of friends when they were younger. The two of them were inseparable during college and on after. Hiram and Leroy threw this ridiculously extravagant birthday party for Rachel when she turned one, and of course we attended" her father chuckled softly.

Santana was at a lost for words as she tried to take in this bit of information. Finally she managed to form another question. "I…I didn't know they were ever friends."

"Oh yah, thick as thieves the two of them," Santos said nodding his head. "Always hanging out and giggling about this and that while Leroy and I stood awkwardly behind them holding their stuff."

"I…I never knew," Santana stuttered blinking her eyes as her brain began to meticulously analyze the situation. "I never…I don't remember them being friends."

"No you wouldn't," Santos said shaking his head, suddenly somber. "They had a large falling out a few months after that party."

"About what?" Santana asked nervously ringing her hands together.

"You know I never found out," Santos murmured frowning slightly before shrugging his shoulders. "They never spoke again after that, but your Mami still defended those two men and their life till her last breath," he said smiling, his eyes slightly misty.

"I didn't know that," Santana nearly whispered, her eyes stinging with the urge to cry as she stared down at the floor.

"You're mother was an amazing woman," Santos murmured as he gently nudged his daughter's chin until their eyes met. "And you are just like her."

Choking back a sob Santana rested the palm of her hand on her dad's forearm and squeezed softly. "Thank you Papi."

"No problemo mi angel," Santos said shifting forwards and kissing his daughter on her forehead. "Now," said pushing her away gently and smiling widely. "I'm off for the rest of the night so I want you to go grab Rachel and bring her over for dinner."

"Oh no," Santana said, her eyes wide as she backed away from him. "I can't just ask her to come over to dinner Papi!"

"Sure you can," Santos laughed winking at his daughter. "Just throw on some of that Lopez charm."

Santana felt the blood rush to the tip of her ears at the comment and all she could do was sputter and violently shake her head. "But…but Papi…but that's weird," she stuttered, her eyes wide.

"Well if you won't I will," Santos laughed patting his front pocket to locate his cell. "I'm sure I have the Berry's number somewhere around here. Or possibly 411," he teased pulling out his cell and shaking it in her face.

"Oh god," Santana groaned face palming at her father's antics. "Alright," she said holding up a finger to shut him up. "I will ask her if she would like to come over and eat."

"That's a good girl," Santos laughed before physically turning her around and pushing her towards the door. "You can't keep her all to yourself, I need company too," he teased as he pulled open the door and shuffled her out into the cold.

"Wait!" Santana yelped, her eyes wide as she whipped around to face him. "She's vegan. She can't eat anything we eat," she explained in a last ditch effort to not have to go through with this.

Santos thought about that for a moment before snapping his fingers. "No problem, I think I can whip something up that doesn't involve slaughter just for tonight."

"Fine," Santana grumbled pulling her jacket tightly around her body and stomping through the snow to her car. Behind her she could hear her father laugh and then the door close.

On the way to Rachel's house she thought about the conversation with her dad. It was a hopeful one. A very hopeful one. If that had been an actual test he would have received an A+ for acceptance of homosexuality. He had been around the Berry men. He had gone there for a birthday. He had stood behind Hiram and her mother with Leroy looking no doubt like awkward coat racks as they giggled about things. This could possibly bode well. The question now was would that acceptance translate to being okay with her being a lesbian.

She also thought about Rachel. About inviting the girl over to her house. And she thought about how embarrassed she was by that and why exactly she was embarrassed in the first place. She was pondering just that thought when a bolt of realization coursed through her veins nearly causing her to hydroplane through a red light.

She had a crush on Rachel Berry. Somewhere in the last month she had moved from actively hating the girl, to tolerating her, to enjoying her company, to having a freaking crush on the diva.

The realization was a novel one. She had had romantic feelings for exactly one person in her life before this and that was Brittany. Sure a few other girls had caught her interest, but that had been purely physical. But this felt an awful lot like when she realized she liked Brittany.

This was real. This was I like Rachel Berry in the sense that yes, I want to throw her down on the bed and get my macks on, but afterwards I also want to cuddle with her and listen to her ramble on about the history of Broadway.

This was all so much in one day for her to process. First Rachel's song during Glee and the fact that it obviously had something to do with the Ice Queen. Then finding out her mother and Hiram Berry used to be close friends and her father obviously was okay with that. And now the realization that she wanted to stick a metaphorical flag in Rachel. All so freaking much.

She was still reeling with shock by the time she got to Rachel's but she at least attempted to school her features as she pulled out the hide-a-key and unlocked the front door.

"Rach I'm here," she called out stomping the snow off her feet and moving to take off her jacket, a move she instantly nixed when she realized that it was just as cold inside the house as it was outside the house. "Jesus Christ Shorty! It's fucking freezing in here," she yelped wrapping her jacket tightly around her body and glaring at the mist her breathe left hanging in the air.

Frowning when she realized that she had yet to receive an answer she moved deeper into the house, first glancing into the living room and up the stairs when a sound caught her attention. Rubbing her hands together to stave off frostbite she headed into the kitchen and arched an eyebrow at an open door no doubt leading down to the basement.

"This is how bad horror movies start," Santana growled tossing down her purse and grabbing a butcher's knife before peering down the dark stair case. "Rachel Berry if you're alive down there fucking say so," she shouted angrily.

The only answer she received was the same sound she had heard earlier which sounded an awful lot like metal banging against metal.

Gritting her teeth the Latina warily started making her way down the creaky old staircase. "It's okay," she grumbled to herself quietly. "I don't have to fret over having a crush on her because I'm going to fucking murder her soon anyways."

When she reached the last step she glared around the crowded looking basement in contempt. There was a weak light hanging over head that cast eerie shadows over stacks upon stacks of boxes. Lifting up the flap on one she rolled her eyes at the obvious legal documents. She recognized them because their attic was filled from them from the days when her mother had been a lawyer.

Suddenly a loud clang made her jump and spin in the air, one hand clutching her chest and the other up above her head gripping the knife like a lifeline. "What the fuck," she growled, her eyes narrowing as she stepped around a corner and saw Rachel's legs sticking out from beneath the unlit furnace.

"Oh please be okay," she yelped out in panic before tossing the knife to the ground and throwing herself at Rachel's legs to pull the girl out.

She was not expecting Rachel to let out a surprised yelp and kick at her. A split second later she heard what was no doubt the top of the girl's head connect with the cast iron furnace followed by the word fuck being repeated over and over again woozily.

"Oh my god are you okay?" Santana stammered as Rachel began to scoot out on her stomach slowly, a tiny hand appearing clutching a set of headphones loudly blaring the Chicago soundtrack. Finally Rachel's head appeared and Santana gasped in horror at the obvious blood pouring out from a cut on the crown of her head.

"Oh Jesus Christ I killed you," Santana shouted helping Rachel sit up before quickly moving behind her to inspect her head.

"Santana what…what's going on?" Rachel grumbled shaking her head and tossing away her headphones in confusion.

"What the fuck were you doing underneath your furnace?" Santana yelled angrily trying to hold Rachel's head still so she could see the cut in the weak light.

"It goes out every now and then and the guy I usually call to fix it is gone for the week on vacation," Rachel groused, furiously rubbing her face. "I had hoped to fix it by the time you got here."

"We need to get you upstairs so I can look at this," the Cheerio ordered standing up and putting her arms under Rachel's.

"Santana I'm fine, it's just a little cut," Rachel grumbled letting the girl pull her to her feet. As soon as Santana removed her arms though the petite brunette's face went slightly pale and she closed her eyes. "And there's the dizzy," she grumbled shaking her head.

"Oh god you are dying," Santana said her voice panicky as she picked up Rachel bridal style and started racing up the stairs.

"I'm not dying," Rachel protested weakly.

"Says you," Santana growled grabbing her purse and heading to the door. "But I can't take that chance! Kurt and Mercedes know I'm here, if you suddenly show up dead I'd be in prison by tomorrow given our history."

"And you say I'm dramatic," Rachel groaned burying her face in Santana's neck, an action that sent shivers down the Latina's back that had nothing to do with the frigid air.

"I'm too pretty for prison," Santana argued quickly heading out of the house and depositing Rachel in her front seat.

"You really are," Rachel said drowsily as she leant up against the window and rubbed her forehead.

Ignoring the way that compliment made her heart leap into her throat Santana quickly pulled out of the driveway and sped towards her house.

By the time they got there Rachel seemed to be a lot more coherent, coherent enough at least to nag Santana about her speed. The Latina barely heard it though as she was panicking still about whether or not she had just killed the girl she liked and if it would end her up in prison.

"Really I feel fine now," Rachel griped as Santana nearly fishtailed into her driveway. "I'm hardly bleeding any more," she said touching the back of her head and grimacing.

"That's what they all say before they die in the movies!" Santana yelled before running around her car and picking Rachel up in her arms once again. Quickly the Latina tore towards her front door and was yelling for her father before it had even opened all the way. "Papi, rapido! Creo que mate a Rachel!"

Almost instantly Santos's head popped around the corner and he frowned deeply at the sight of his daughter holding a clearly hurt but alive tiny brunette in her arms. "Santana honey I said invite her over for dinner, not knock her over the head and drag her over here," he chastised rushing forwards and inspecting the back of the girl's head.

"Shut up and fix her!" Santana shouted stomping her foot and tightening her grip on Rachel.

"Hey I'm not broken you know," Rachel grumbled, wincing slightly as Santos poked at the back of her head.

"Says you," Santana growled glaring at the girl in her arms before looking at her father. "Is she okay?"

"I don't know," Santos said frowning and moving until he could look into Rachel's eyes. "How many fingers am I holding up?" He asked seriously as he held up four fingers.

Glancing at Santana who was staring at her father's fingers, Rachel looked at the man and winked slyly. "I don't know," Rachel said nervously biting her bottom lip for show. "Eight?"

"Oh my god she is going to die," Santana wailed holding the girl tightly against her chest.

"Yep she should pass any moment now," Santos murmured, shaking his head and looking down at his watch to hide a smile.

"I think I can see a bright light," Rachel said dramatically letting her body go limp in Santana's arms.

"No Rachel! Mija don't go toward the light!" Santos yelled gripping the smaller girl's hand.

"But it's so pretty," Rachel sighed dreamily.

And that is when Santana finally noticed that both her father and Rachel were obviously valiantly holding back laughter. "Ugh I hate you two!" She shouted pushing Rachel into her father's arms in disgust. "You are horrible rotten people."

Instantly Rachel and Santos began laughing so hard that tears were streaming down their faces. "And the award for best actress in a dramatic roll goes to Ms. Rachel Berry," Santos laughed heartily as he gently sat Rachel on her feet.

"I would like to thank…well I don't really know your first name, but I would like to thank Dr. Lopez," Rachel said curtsying and wiping the tears from her eyes.

"God you both suck!" Santana growled fisting her hair and glaring at them. "Are you even hurt?" She yelled turning Rachel around and closely inspecting the back of her head.

"I'm sorry Santana, I couldn't resist," Rachel giggled allowing herself to be turned. "And to answer your question, yes I am hurt, but as I told you earlier it's really not that bad anymore."

"Are you sure, because there is a lot of freaking blood," Santana grumbled pushing the girl away and resting a hand over her own suddenly queasy stomach.

"I'm guessing that Ms. Rachel here has not been taking the appropriate amount of iron to supplement her vegan lifestyle," Santos interrupted, frowning at Rachel who had the good grace to blush.

"Um…they're really disgusting," Rachel mumbled shrinking beneath the doctor's gaze slightly.

"Fair enough," Santos chuckled shaking his head. "But do me as a favor and grind them up in a smoothie or something so the next time my daughter attempts to kill you she won't have a panic attack."

"I didn't try to kill her," Santana grumbled pulling off her coat and hanging it up on a hook.

"Sure you didn't," Santos said rolling his eyes as he headed back to the kitchen. "Santi why don't you take Rachel upstairs and let her take a shower and change into something that isn't covered in blood. Dinner should be ready in about twenty minutes."

"Come on Hater," Santana sighed before grabbing Rachel's hand and pulling her up the stairs. "You're sure you're okay right? I mean you were kind of out of it for a minute there."

"I promise I'm fine," Rachel giggled following Santana into her room.

As the Latina started shuffling through her drawers for a fresh t-shirt she watched Rachel observe her room out of the corner of her eye.

"You have a lovely taste in décor," Rachel hummed gently toying with one of the numerous burgundy throw pillows on the girl's bed.

"Yah this is kind of my sanctuary," Santana mumbled, her eyes dipping to look at Rachel's jean clad ass.

"Well I'm honored that you've let me in it," Rachel murmured turning back around and smiling at Santana. "Though it was after an attempt on my life."

"Ha-ha," Santana growled rolling her eyes. "Consider it payback for throwing my ass on the ground multiple times during our first lesson."

"But I liked throwing you on the ground," Rachel joked and then instantly flushed bright red. Santana instantly felt like all the air had been knocked out of her and her fists tightened around the shirt she was holding tightly against her chest. Her eyes were glued to Rachel who was obviously extremely embarrassed and shaking her head, her lips turned into a frown.

It stung that such an innocent minded comment had obviously disturbed the girl and Santana had to fight back the urge to snap at her. But she did and instead awkwardly shook out her shirt. "So will this do," she asked carefully.

Rachel's eyes snapped from the ground to the shirt and Santana breathed a sigh of relief when the smaller girl smiled. And then the laughing started. "What?" She asked looking down and groaning when she realized she had mistakenly grabbed an ancient Harry Potter shirt.

"Oh my god that is precious," Rachel snorted stepping forwards and pulling the shirt out of the Latina's hands before it could be hidden.

"Slytherins are not precious," Santana grumbled, grinding her teeth together in embarrassment.

"Whatever you say," Rachel said chuckling lightly and heading towards Santana's opened bathroom door.

"God I'm a dork," Santana grumbled pinching her brow in angst.

"But you're adorable at least," Rachel laughed shaking her head. "If it makes you feel better. Me? Totally a Ravenclaw," the petite diva said smiling impishly and pointing at her self.

Santana sighed and looked up at her ceiling. "Well at least you're not a Gryffindor."

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Twenty minutes later Santana led a freshly showered Rachel down her stairs, attempting to ignore the bolt of smugness soaring through her veins at not only her shirt on her crush, but also her scent.

"I hope you ladies brought your appetites," Santos said as the two girls walked into the kitchen to find him setting down a large pot on the dining table.

"That's smells delicious Dr. Lopez," Rachel beamed smiling radiantly at the man.

"Ms. Berry, please call me Santos or at least Sir if you must. You're making me feel very old," Santos laughed as he pulled a ceramic dish filled with homemade tortillas out of the oven.

"Then please call me Rachel," the petite girl said nodding even as Santana chided in, "that's because you are old."

"Gladly Rachel. Would you mind being my daughter from now on? I'm not satisfied with the one I got," Santos said shooting a teasing glare at Santana.

"Oh please, I'm awesome," Santana scoffed opening the fridge and looking in to see what they had to drink.

"I have to agree with her Sir, she is quite amazing," Rachel said blushing slightly and looked down at her feet.

Santana felt he neck go flush and out of the corner of her eyes she could see her father smiling oddly at her. Almost encouragingly. "So um Rach, what do you want to drink? We've got orange juice, diet dr. pepper, sweet tea, and water."

"A Diet Dr. Pepper would be great," Rachel said brushing the hair behind her ear and smiling nervously at Santana.

"I would like a beer Mija," Santos chimed in, his eyes twinkling with mirth.

"Oh I think I'll have one as well," Santana teased grabbing two bottles of Corona.

"Oh, dios mío you're so funny Santi," Santos deadpanned before reaching over his daughters shoulder and plucking a beer out of her hand and then pushing her hand till she sat the other one down.

"I try," Santana chuckled before grabbing two sodas and leading Rachel to the table.

After setting down the drinks at their places Santana stood awkwardly for a second, shifting her weight from one foot to the other before grabbing Rachel's chair and pulling it out for her to sit in. "Thank you Santana," Rachel murmured softly, her voice catching slightly as she looked up at Santana with wide surprised eyes.

"No problem," Santana choked out, feeling her temperature rise at the ridiculously huge smile on her Rachel and her father's faces. "So what did you make?" Santana asked sitting down across from Rachel and leaning forwards in her seat.

"I scrounged up your mother's recipe for pozole," Santo's explained pulling the lid off of the pot to reveal a hearty stew. "Vegan of course for our guest," he said nodding at the shorter girl.

"Thank you so much," Rachel said dipping her head and smiling. "I hope it wasn't any trouble for you. Most people forget or don't even bother."

"Well I am not most people," Santos chuckled picking up a ladle and beginning to fill their bowls. "And my daughter here definitely wouldn't let me forget."

"That's enough Papi," Santana stammered glaring up at the man and pulling her bowl away.

"And I made some tortillas as well," Santos continued on as he ladled the stew into Rachel's bowl.

Sighing at her father's absolute lack of social graces Santana picked up her spoon and took a huge helping into her mouth. Instantly her taste buds exploded with spice and flavor and she let out an appreciative moan before nearly choking on the food as Rachel lifted hers to her mouth.

"Don't eat that!" She yelped quickly, her eyes wide.

"Erm…why now?" Rachel asked setting down her spoon instantly and frowning dubiously at her bowl.

"Papi what were you thinking? This stuff is muy picante! Are you trying to kill her?" She shouted glaring at her father.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry Rachel. I wasn't even thinking," Santos exclaimed with wide apologetic eyes.

"It's no problem Sir," Rachel said holding up her hands quickly. "I love spicy food."

"Oh okay, see there Santi, no harm no foul," Santos said picking up his spoon and diving into his stew.

"Wait," Santana yelped stopping Rachel again as the girl lifted a spoonful to her mouth. "You don't get it. This is real spice Rachel."

Rachel chuckled and set down her spoon once again, her eyes dancing across the table. "Santana I assure you that I can handle it."

"Yah but you're vegan. Isn't that stuff bland as all hell?" Santana asked nervously her eyes flitting from Rachel to the chili peppers floating ominously at the top of her bowl.

"Well yes some of the staples of vegan diet can be rather bland. Which is why a lot of vegans use intense seasoning combinations to appease their palates," Rachel said, smiling warmly at Santana.

"Are you sure?" Santana asked uneasily. "Because I can have Breadsticks here in like ten minutes. I own that place."

Rachel's face flushed a bright red and Santana felt her heart ache in her chest at the sweet giggle she had earned. "I'm positive Santana. I promise if it is too spicy for me I will let you know."

"All right," Santana said narrowing her eyes and sitting challengingly back in her chair.

Shaking her head Rachel dipped into her soup for the third time and lifted the spoon to her mouth. Her chocolate eyes flitted between Santana who was watching her nervously and Santos who was smiling widely at her. Closing her eyes the petite brunette finally brought the spoon to her mouth and let out a very appreciative moan at the taste. "I've changed my mind Sir. I will come here and be your daughter. Please kick Santana out as I want her room," the girl chuckled before tucking back into her food.

"Well f my life," Santana grumbled digging into her own stew. "Rachel Berry likes horror movies, knows karate, and can withstand food that would make a few Latinos I know run crying to their mommies."

"Book and cover," Rachel chimed her smile wide.

After that the conversation drifted around to a few topics. Santos was obviously fishing for information about the shorter girl and Santana was happy to come along for the ride. Until it came to an awkward jarring halt.

Rachel had just finished explaining the admissions process to NYADA when Santos suddenly brought up the girl's fathers.

"They must be immensely proud of you Rachel," he said smiling widely and leaning back in her chair.

Instantly Santana's entire body bristled defensively and her eyes quickly shot to Rachel who was biting her bottom lip apprehensively. "I hope they are."

"You know Santana's mother and your father Hiram were the best of friends in college," Santos continued, oblivious to the tenseness pouring off his daughter and the awkwardness pouring off of Rachel.

"I didn't know that," Rachel said her eyes wide and honest.

"You know," Santos said frowning suddenly and sitting up straighter in his chair. "I haven't seen either Leroy or Hiram around in a while," she said frowning deeper and taking in Rachel's nervous demeanor.

"Really?" Rachel asked clearing her throat and chugging down half of her drink in one go.

Hoping to stir the topic away from where it was inevitably going Santana butted in. "So Papi, how was the hospital today?"

"Hmm," Santos said leaning back and resting his thumbs on his chin. "My daughter is suddenly asking me about my work day and Rachel has clammed up completely. What is going on?" He asked looking from girl to girl suspiciously.

"Nothing's going on," Santana said quickly shaking her head.

"Rachel," the Doctor said turning in his chair to look directly at the shorter girl. "I haven't seen your fathers around lately."

Taking a deep breath Rachel attempted a half-hearted show smile. "Well Dr. Lopez…they are currently staying in Columbus for work."

"And how long have they been staying in Columbus for work?" Santos asked narrowing his eyes.

"Um…a long while," Rachel murmured fidgeting nervously with her spoon.

"How long of a long while?" Santos pushed, his eyes become gentler as he leaned in closer to the brunette.

"About…three and a half years," Rachel murmured shrinking down in her seat.

Santana's eyes moved back and forth between the brunette and her father like she was watching a tennis match. At this newest bit of information her father jaw tightened and the Latina could see he was visibly holding back the urge to yell. "And is someone living at the house with you?" He asked slowly, his voice steely.

"No…it's just me," Rachel mumbled shaking her head and staring down at her empty bowl.

"Okay," Santos said sitting back in his chair, his shoulders tense. "I didn't realize you had been emancipated."

"I…I wasn't," Rachel said blushing and shaking her head. "We discussed it briefly but decided it would better not to…that way I could remain on their insurance."

"Alright," the Doctor sighed, his fingers gripping his beer so tightly Santana was afraid it would break. "So what I'm hearing you tell me is that your fathers left you, alone, in this town about three and a half years go. Do I have that right?"

"That is correct," Rachel said nodding and taking a deep breath and rushing out an explanation. "They couldn't get any work here so they had to look elsewhere for jobs. They made a temporary move to Columbus so my Daddy could set up his own design firm and my Dad could apply at a few notable law firms. I stayed behind because it was only supposed to be temporary and they didn't want to disrupt my dance and singing classes."

"And then what happened?" Santos asked, his voice shaking lightly. Next to him Santana wasn't doing any better. They had discussed a lot of things over the last month, but this was a subject that had been avoided almost all together.

"And then the move became permanent. I was already enrolled at McKinley so the-we decided it would be best for me to just stay here until the first semester ended," Rachel continued, obviously choosing her words carefully. "When that time came I was already in a routine and I told them I wanted to stay in Lima."

That made Santana do a double take. Rachel had already had a routine? A routine of what exactly? Even in their freshman year Rachel was already taking a few slushies from the older Cheerios and she didn't even have Glee then to make up for it.

She was just about to question what the hell the girl had been thinking when Santos started talking again. "It must have been a very…difficult time for you?"

"It was," Rachel said nodding slightly. "But I had a close friend…she helped me get through it. I'm actually very comfortable living by myself. And it is only until the school year ends and I can move to New York."

"What friend?" Santana asked butting into the conversation as she was racking her brain for a memory of anyone outside of the Glee Club that had ever been anything remotely resembling friendly to Rachel.

"You don't know her," Rachel frowned shaking her head. "She's doesn't go here anymore. I'm actually not sure what happened to her these days."

"Okay," Santana mumbled, her eyes narrowing at Rachel slightly.

"Sir I know this is a lot of information, but I would appreciate it if it could stay between us," Rachel said turning and looking at Santos, her eyes pleading softly. "Really it is no problem seeing as I am turning eighteen in December anyways."

"Okay," Santos said nodding his head curtly. "I just…how did nobody notice this for so long?"

"Well it helped that no one in this town would hire my fathers, added to the fact that nobody wanted to see them anyways…I guess it just…wasn't obvious," Rachel murmured softly, her eyes downcast.

Santos sighed and leaned forwards on the table, clearly disappointed with him self. Turning to Santana he grimaced. "Did you know about this?"

"No," Santana said shaking her head sadly. "Not till a few weeks ago."

"Okay," the man said standing up from the table and grabbing the dishes. "Rachel, honey why don't you stay the night? It's really coming down on there," he said glancing out the kitchen window at the snow that was beginning to fall in blankets.

"I'm not sure," Rachel said hesitantly biting her lip.

"Well you're definitely not going home," Santana frowned shaking her head. "It's like ten degrees in your house and you're made of small human being."

"I am not that small," Rachel huffed, a smile playing on her lips.

"No you're just like half the size of my arm," Santana joked, smiling as she felt the tension at least leave them, behind Rachel though her father was obviously holding back fury over the recent discussion.

"You are sometimes not a nice person Santana Lopez," Rachel growled before sticking her tongue out.

"Any you're very mature," Santana laughed standing up and grabbing the girl's hand. "Now come on, you can take the guest room we never use and hopefully we'll find some normal sized person's clothing that will fit you."

Rachel hesitated and Santana looked down to see the girl's cell phone grasped tightly in her free hand. Her eyes were staring at it and she worried her bottom lip nervously between her teeth. "Rachel, please? I don't want you to go home to a freezing house," Santana asked carefully, her eyes catching Rachel and leveling her with a nearly desperate look.

Finally Rachel relented and nodded her head. "Okay," she said shoving her phone back into her pocket after discreetly turning it off, an action not lost on Santana. "Lead the way."

"Dork," Santana said rolling her eyes. "Good night Papi," she called over her shoulder.

"Goodnight Sir," Rachel called out as well, her hand enclosed tightly in Santana's and a nervous look still in her eyes.

"Good night ladies," he called back, his voice still shaky with obvious guarded emotion.

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An hour later after getting Rachel situated in the guest bedroom and spending about twenty minutes going over their Chemistry project, Santana slinked out of the room with a small good night.

As soon as the door was safely closed behind her Santana collapsed back into it and took a deep breath.

It was now confirmed indubitably that there was no way to avoid the fact that she was intensely crushing on the shorter girl. There was just no question about it.

What she was questioning though was if her feelings were returned. That she had no clue about to tell the truth. She had seen a few moments that suggested they were here and there. Light flirting and bright expressive eyes trained solely on her and her alone. But just when she thought she was sure of it Rachel had pulled back instantly. Her face resembling someone who had seemingly forgot to turn the iron off back home and was imagining their house going up in flames.

She was just so confused. Did Rachel like her? And then what did that even mean? What would she do about it? Most importantly was she brave enough yet to do something about it in the first place?

Just as she was about to cross the hall into her bedroom she heard her father's angry voice carrying up the stairs and she quirked a brow before quietly shuffling down them to peek into the living room.

Santos was pacing back and forth across the room, his face intense, and his hand enclosed around his cell phone. Sitting down on the step Santana leaned into the room to hear the one sided conversation.

"You're completely insane if you don't think this isn't any of my business Hiram! This should be everybody's damn business!" He ground out angrily, his free hand rubbing his face.

Santana's eyes widened in shock realizing it was one of Rachel's fathers on the phone and then her lips curled into a smile at the absolutely feral look on her Papi's face. She knew that look. Hell she was that look from time to time. Whatever Hiram had replied with was officially the too far point for the Lopez temper.

"No I will not calm down Hiram! I am furious! I am disgusted by you! You abandoned your child when she was fourteen fucking years old because you and your husband decided to be selfish pricks!" And then there was a pause as Hiram no doubt tried to defend himself.

"I don't want to hear that bullshit Hiram! She was fourteen years old, which means she didn't just get to say she wanted to stay in Lima! You're the adult not her dammit! And you are damn lucky I'm only finding out about this now! And you're really fucking damn lucky that Maria isn't alive or she would be on her way to Columbus right now to rip your hearts out and feed them too you!" Santos paused for only a second before obviously cutting Hiram off.

"No. This conversation is done. You do not and can not even begin to defend what you've done. Never mind that it is against the law it is just plain wrong Hiram. And another thing! I'm going to be keeping my eye on Rachel from now until she goes to college and I swear to god if you call her and try to complain about your dirty little secret being broken then I will drive to Columbus myself and bring my daughter. And let me tell you, Santana is every bit the fighter her mother was. She will rip your face off! Oh and send someone around the house to fix the fucking heater, your daughter is freezing!" He shouted angrily before turning off his phone and tossing it onto the couch.

Santana sat in complete silence with tears streaming down her face. She had loved her father before this, but now in her eyes that sun rose and set on his shoulders. She was just considering trying to make a natural entrance when Santos sighed and sat down on the couch. "You can come down here Mija. You're as bad as being sneaky as your Mami was."

"You're my fucking hero," Santana sobbed out dropping all pretenses before running down the stairs and flinging herself onto her father's lap.

"I don't know whether I'm madder at them or madder at myself for not realizing what had happened less than two miles from my own house," Santos sighed wrapping his arms around his daughter and letting his head fall back onto the couch.

"Don't beat yourself up Papi. Nobody noticed. Not even the school," Santana murmured shaking her head.

"Your Mami would have noticed. That woman could sense hurt from a mile away," Santos murmured. "What really gets me is she told me the information right away with only minimal coercion."

"That's just Rachel," Santana sighed. "She told me she sucks at lying if asked a direct question so she usually avoids it like the plague."

"That's a great quality in a person," Santos hummed.

"Yah it is," Santana nodded biting her bottom lip and looking at the coffee table which was scattered in old photo albums. "What are those?" She asked furrowing her brow.

"Those," Santos said carefully nudging his daughter off his lap and picking up one of the opened ones "are pictures from when your mother was in college with Hiram. I was attempting to look through them and see if I could have seen this coming or not."

"I've never seen these," Santana murmured staring wide eyed down at a picture of her mother and a handsome brunette haired man smiling widely and holding a banner that simply read, "Love Is Love."

"That was your Mami," Santos said stroking the picture softly. "If she had something she believed in she had no qualms about announcing those beliefs to the world. Even if it put her under fire," he murmured turning the page to reveal her mother staring down a group of protesters holding signs with homophobic slurs painted on them.

Santana was mindless to the sudden tears rolling down her cheeks and her fingers clenched and unclenched before reaching out and stroking the black and white polaroid. "I'm sorry I haven't shown these to you Santi," Santos whispered tightening his arms around his daughter. "I kept telling myself I would, but I never got around to it."

"She was so brave," Santana whispered throatily as she turned the page and smiled through her tears at a picture of her mother holding a bullhorn and throwing up the peace sign.

"She was," Santos nodded gently. "And you want to know something?"

"Huh?" Santana asked, her eyes dancing across the photo and drinking in her mother's horrible hair style and wide proud smile across her face.

"She loved you with all her heart just like I do. And nothing. Nothing will ever change that Mija," Santos said nudging the girl till she looked at him. "Nothing."

Santana could feel her heart beating a thousand miles per hour in her chest and sighed in relief when her father's gentle hand reached up to wipe away her tears. "You promise," she asked in a small terrified voice that caught at the end and threatened to turn desperate.

"Con todo mi corazón Santi. With all heart," Santos whispered wiping away the remaining tears on his daughters face.

Taking a deep breath to calm her self Santana closed her eyes and reached deep inside for a courage that her mother had and Rachel told her that she had as well. "Papi…I'm…I'm a lesbian," she said, keeping her eyes tightly shut, afraid to see her father's reaction.

"Hey," Santos said gently cupping her cheek until she opened her eyes just a tiny bit. "Don't ever be ashamed of who you are Santana Lopez. You say that with pride," he ordered, his smile wide.

This time her voice didn't waver as she said it. "I'm a lesbian."

"That's how a Lopez talks," Santos said proudly pulling his daughter against his chest. "That is how your mother talked, and if she was here right now she would tell you she was so proud of you."

"You really think so?" Santana asked as fresh tears poured down her cheeks and she cuddled against her father's chest.

"Oh I know so," the Doctor said squeezing her tightly in his arms. "I know because she told me herself that she was."

"What do you mean?" Santana asked leaning back so she could look her father in the eyes.

"I mean that she was your Mami, and like I said your Mami had a sensor for when things were off, especially if people were hurting," Santos explained gently.

"You mean she knew…then?" The Cheerio asked her teary eyes wide in surprise.

"She told me she had a suspicion. She said she could see the way that you looked at Brittany. Even then, with that special shine in your eyes," Santos said softly.

"Oh wow," Santana said, her smile widening exponentially. She often had thought about her mother would react. She was so afraid that her mother would have been disappointed, but she was even more afraid that her mother would have supported her and she would have missed out on that.

"In the hospital, before she passed…she told me what she thought, and she told me to tell you if this day ever did happen that she loved you more then anything in the world and she would always be proud of you, no matter what," Santos whispered, tears rolling down his own cheeks at this point.

"Oh god I love you both so much," Santana sobbed flinging herself into her father's arms and just crying out all the pain and worry and guilt and shame she had been carrying on her shoulders like an invisible weight.

Almost an hour later after a few more rounds of crying Santos had carried her upstairs and tucked her into bed before kissing her on the forehead and leaving her to her thoughts.

She was so emotionally drained that she could barely think straight. But the thought that she had still not confronted Rachel about Quinn behavior did cross her mind, and she vowed that tomorrow she was going to do it come hell or high water.

Hell or high water came the next day during lunch in the form of finding Quinn Fabray pushing Rachel up against the choir room wall and kissing the hell out of her as the petite brunette struggled to angrily push her away.

* * *

*CUE DRAMATIC PIANO MUSIC!* Soooo what did you guys think?


	6. Chapter 6

Author: J.R. Boone (Tumblr: JRAbraxas)  
Chapter Six  
Rating: It wouldn't be me if it wasn't M.  
Disclaimer: Yada, yada, yada, I don't own Glee or any of its characters. Just borrowing them.  
A/N: Props to my awesome beta InTheForestOfTheNight for keeping grammar Nazis off my back.

* * *

_Santana had never had what she would really deem an out of body experience. Sure she had had one of those odd almost falling-asleep moments before, and, once when her cousin Gabby had brought over some pot when she was fifteen, she had kind of felt like she was floating. _

_But an actual moment when she felt detached from her body and looking on as a spectator? Never had one. Had seen a documentary about them once. Obviously didn't pay enough attention to it. _

_But at that moment as she was standing less than an inch away from Quinn's face screaming bloody murder and having it screamed right back at her there was a second, just a second, it seemed, where she detached herself from the situation, where she was watching on the sidelines as two girls viciously spewed hateful insults and painful truths at each other like knives, in which she realized she must be having one. _

_Because this just could not possibly be happening. There was no way in hell that she had gone from laughing at her kitchen table with Rachel Berry while her father made pancakes to witnessing and actively participating in what was only just balancing on a thin line between a record breaking cat fight and an absolute bloodbath. _

_It had all just gone downhill so fucking fast. _

Rsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrs rsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrs rsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrs

The next morning when Santana woke up she honestly felt drunk. Her entire body ached from crying so much the previous night but her mind was filled with a peace she had never, as of then, felt before. It was like last night, coming out to her father had removed some invisible weight that had been resting on her shoulders for so long.

She felt alive and free and truly proud of herself for the first time in her life.

The sound of music filtering through the floor boards piqued her interest and she quickly jumped out of the bed and readied herself for the day.

She had just finished washing her face when a flash of red caught her eye and she turned to frown at her Cheerio's uniform.

Coming out to her father last night had been amazing. It was everything she had never even let her self dream it would be. But now, staring at that protective red and black fabric, she bit her lip nervously.

She pondered two things at that moment.

One, the disappointing fact that she was not ready to come out at school yet. She was still too afraid of the looks, judgment and nasty comments she was bound to receive.

The other notion was not disappointing at all, but it still caused a very nervous chill to settle down her spine. She didn't want to spend another day being a complete bitch to the girl, most likely downstairs from the sound of the music, who had become her best friend in the last month.

She just couldn't do it any more. Yes, there was no interaction between the two of them at school so an argument could be made that she wasn't doing anything wrong. But she wasn't going to argue that point because she was doing everything wrong. Every day she walked into that school as part of an organization that humiliated her best friend daily at the orders of Quinn Fabray and every day she stood silently on the side lines imitating the see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil monkeys. All of it was wrong.

The question now was what she was going to do about it.

The sound of high pitched laughter shook her from her thoughts and, with a heart filled with confusion, the Latina pulled on her uniform and tightened her pony tail before heading downstairs determined to make a decision…well someday soon hopefully.

She had just stepped off the last step when she realized the music she had heard was in fact Rachel singing. Squinting her brow the Cheerio peeked around the corner into the kitchen and stared in utter amusement as the girl in question stood atop her kitchen table singing into a spatula. Across from her stood her father who was doing what Santana could only describe as dance cooking.

Shaking her head fondly she cleared her throat and waved slightly when Rachel, without skipping a beat, smiled her way and continued singing on as if she had, in fact, already made it to Broadway.

"You two are ridiculous," she growled playfully, attempting to keep a serious face on.

"Yah ridiculously awesome," her father argued spinning around in a circle and shaking his hips completely off rhythm to the beat.

"Whatever," Santana scoffed humorously as she slipped into the kitchen and sat down at the table just as Rachel jumped down.

"Your father asked for a performance. I wouldn't be Rachel Berry if I did not oblige," Rachel said sticking out her tongue and taking the seat next to the Cheerio.

"True that," Santana chuckled, shaking her head before turning to her Dad. "Yo old man, food now yes?" A sharp smack to the back of her head made the Latina let out a surprised yelp and she spun back around to see Rachel shaking a finger at her.

"That is not nice Santana. Your father is an amazing man in the prime of his life. He's not here just to wait on you," Rachel ranted, shaking her finger in the girl's face as Santana tried to interrupt her helplessly.

"So, Rachel," Santos said, sliding up next to the table and sitting down a stack of pancakes. "When can you move in because I still want to trade in this one," he said tapping Santana on the head before heading back to grab the plate of bacon.

"Whatever," Santana grumbled pulling a pancake onto her plate.

The next thirty minutes could only be described as nice. Just really fucking nice.

The three of them sat around eating and talking and laughing about everything they could think of.

It felt like home and it took Santana's mind off what she was going to do. She knew she was at a make it or break it moment. She was painfully reminded of that when Rachel came down dressed in one of the several outfits she kept on her person at all times.

The drive to school was quiet, the two of them obviously lost in thought. When Santana parked her car she looked up at the school to see Quinn glaring at them, her arms crossed. Before she could say anything to Rachel about it and ask her about what had happened the day before though, the brunette had already hopped out of her car and carefully slinked by an obviously pissed Quinn.

Santana got out and looked challengingly at the blonde who was still glaring at her with slightly puzzled eyes.

"Problem?" Santana called out, leaning against her car and trying to not appear as nervous as she was.

Quinn just narrowed her eyes and shook her head before stalking off to the football field.

An hour and a half later after a very intense Cheerios practice, Santana quickly made her way out of the locker room, pretending not to notice Quinn walking less than a few feet behind her.

Stiffly the Latina turned the corner expecting to see Rachel and frowning deeply at the sight of an empty hall way. A second later, Quinn bumped into her behind and Santana jerked around growling slightly and prepared to fight. Instead Quinn's face was marred with a deep frown pointed down the empty hall way as well and the blonde gave her one last glare before stalking off.

The awkward behavior made Santana nervous. Quinn was clearly pissed off and that usually led to some pretty serious fighting between the two of them, but brooding silence? That was hardly Quinn's style.

Shaking her head and looking once more down the empty hallway, Santana pulled out her phone and quickly texted Rachel asking where she was. She needed to see the girl. It was a thing. Every morning they hung out by Rachel's locker and made plans for the evening and this was the first time in over a month that Rachel wasn't there waiting for her.

Her phone buzzed in the palm of her hand and she quickly unlocked it, reading that Rachel had to meet up with Schue about something. Feeling highly agitated, Santana barely noticed the other students starting to buzz around her.

Deep down she knew that keeping to a schedule had nothing to do with her wanting to see Rachel. It was a baser need than that. In truth she still wasn't sure about what she was going to do about them in regards to school. She knew that she couldn't go on like this much longer. Rachel might have seemed fine with the unspoken arrangement but Santana sure as hell wasn't and Santana needed to see her to validate that feeling.

She liked the girl – like really fucking liked her – and there were moments when she could have sworn Rachel liked her back. And every time she saw a puddle of slushy around the girl's locker she felt as if she had personally thrown it.

She was reminded of something her mother had once said. She was seven then and standing on the playground in her brand new birthday outfit. She had been standing completely still for close to ten minutes, just watching the little blonde girl across the way sitting in the sand box and playing with a toy duck.

She was currently deciding whether or not she should go up and talk to her as she was the only child she didn't recognize. Even at the age of seven Santana had already developed something of a spiky temper and all the other kids didn't like her, which was fine because she really couldn't care about them either.

Just when the little girl had decided she would just play by herself she saw a young Azimo Addams walk up to the blonde girl and rip her duck violently out of her hands. Instantly tears sprang to the girl's eyes and, before Santana knew it, she had tackled Azimo to the ground and was shoving his face in the sand.

Strong arms wrapped around her midsection and Santana felt herself being pulled off of a now crying Azimo by her Mami. "Let me at him! Es dicir Mami!" Santana shouted, wiggling in her mother's arms.

"Shh calm down Chica," her mother soothed softly as Azimo's father came over with a red embarrassed face and took away his bawling son.

When Azimo was safely in his father's car and out of striking distance her Mami set her down and instantly turned her around to face her. "Santana Lopez you can't go around hitting people. Que no está bien Mija."

"But Mami, he had it coming!" Santana argued stomping her foot angrily. "He stole her duck for no reason!"

Quirking an eyebrow Santana's mom gently pushed her to the side and looked at a little blonde girl who was watching the two of them with wide red eyes. "Hi there. What's your name?" Maria asked, smiling softly at the girl.

The little girl's eyes widened impossibly larger as she hiccupped out a meek, "Brittany."

"Hi Brittany, my name is Ms. Lopez. Did that boy come up and steal your duck?"

"Yes," Brittany said nodding quickly and rubbing her face.

"Okay," Maria said looking back to her daughter.

"See Mami! He had it coming!" Santana fumed angrily stomping her foot again.

Maria took a deep breath and smiled at her little girl before putting a hand on her shoulder. "What he did was wrong but violence is never the answer Santana."

"So I was just supposed to sit back and let him?" Santana argued, looking at her mom dubiously.

"No, definitely not," Maria said shaking her head. "The worst thing you can ever do is sit back and let something bad happen to someone without trying to stop it. That makes you just as bad as the person who is hurting them. But violence should never be the answer Santana. Do you understand?"

"Yes Ma'am," Santana mumbled staring down at the ground.

"All right," Maria said clapping her thighs and standing up. "I'm gonna go back and read my book. Play nice okay," the woman said stressing the word nice.

"Yes Mami," Santana mumbled again as her mother walked off. Taking a deep breath the little girl turned around and quickly spotted the little ducky toy laying a few feet away. Feeling her face flush she stomped over and grabbed the toy before walking back to Brittany and handing it back to her.

"Thank you," Brittany hummed, wrapping her arms tightly around the duck and smiling up shyly at Santana.

"No problem," Santana grumbled before turning around to walk off.

"Wait," the girl called out instantly. "Do you want to play with me."

Instantly a wide smile broke out across Santana's face and she twirled around to see bright hopeful blue eyes looking at her. "Yes."

She was young then but the lesson stayed with her over the years but only in regards to Brittany. And even then, she had failed pretty miserably at times. Like her Mami had said. She was just as bad as the person hurting Britt because a lot of the times she was that person.

The sound of the first bell ringing broke Santana out of her thoughts and she quickly headed to her locker to find Brittany poking through it. "Did you forget your combination again Brittany?" Santana asked shaking her head and smiling at the blonde fondly.

"No I just like yours better," Brittany hummed, pulling out the book they needed in their next class. "I like being friends with you again because I can never find my book."

Chuckling Santana slid up next to the blonde and quickly started stuffing her own books in it. "So how was last night?" She asked reaching up and wiping a bit of blue face paint of the tip of the girl's note.

"It was okay," Brittany said, shrugging slightly. "Artie won me a huge ducky but Quinn was in a really bad mood. I think she broke her phone because she kept on texting a lot. Like maybe they weren't sending or something."

"Well Quinn is always in a bad mood," Santana said rolling her eyes and shutting the locker door.

"How was your night?" Brittany asked as they started walking towards their shared homeroom.

"It was great," Santana murmured softly, smiling at the memory of the talk with her father.

"What did you do?" The blonde questioned as the two Cheerios walked into the classroom and made a bee line for their seats in the back.

Santana hesitated then. This was a small moment with Brittany, who she trusted unconditionally. But it was a big moment for her. Her Mom's echoed words coupled with the smile of Rachel's face this morning at breakfast was what made up her mind in the end.

"I hung out with Rachel and my Papi," she said, her eyes watching the other students sitting near them to see if they had heard.

"Rachel from Glee?" Brittany asked cocking her head to the side in rather adorable confusion.

"Yes Rachel from Glee," Santana said before taking a deep breath. "We've actually become really good friends lately."

She shouldn't have been surprised by Brittany's reaction in the least. "Oh my god that's awesome! Can I be friends with her too? Rachel, you, and Artie are they only people who don't call me names like stupid," the blonde rushed out all in one breath with a wide smile on her face.

Santana felt the hairs on the back of her neck bristle and her first instinct was to hunt down the people that warranted that confession, but she didn't want to ruin the happy look on her best friend's face so she just smiled back. "Totally Britt. And I'm sorry if I made you think that you couldn't. You should never listen to me when I tell you to do something that you don't want to. Okay?"

"Okay," Brittany said smiling widely as the morning announcements cued up.

Santana spent the rest of the morning thinking about the situation at hand. She had been thinking about it for a month now and this morning with Brittany was the first time she had moved past thinking to doing. And fuck, it felt so freeing.

As she was heading towards the cafeteria though, she spotted a dried spot of red liquid laying in front of Rachel's locker and all the good feelings she had been having came to a screeching halt. Around her she could hear other students laughing and talking but her mind zeroed in on the words Manhands accompanied by the sharp laughter of a baby cheerio.

Suddenly it felt like the world was pressing down on Santana, like she was a volcano seconds away from exploding. Taking a deep breath she turned to see a group of cheerios looking at her expectantly. "Are you coming?" A blonde asked nervously, her blue eyes taking in the Latina's stony expression.

"Fuck you," Santana growled venomously before stalking away from the group, smirking at the shocked squeak of protest following her down the hall.

She was done thinking and talking. Now was the time for doing.

She was going to find Rachel, tell her that she liked her in a more than "friends" way and then tell her that even if the feelings weren't reciprocated she was the best friend she had ever had and she was done acting like the girl didn't exist at school anymore.

Faintly, she could hear her mother cheering her on in her head as the halls emptied and she made a bee line for the Choir room with a fierce look of determination across her face.

By the time she turned down the now emptied hallway the blood was pumping through her body like a raging river and she could hear her heart beating in her chest. She felt like she was going off to war and in a way she was.

She, Santana Lopez, was going to war with the girl she had been only a little over a month ago and the girl she had become. Slender fingers wrapped around the handle of the door but just as she was about to rip it open her entire body froze as Quinn Fabray's voice filled her head.

Her head whipped from side to side violently before she heard Rachel's voice come into the mix and she slowly turned back to the closed door, her eyes wide. Taking a deep breath she pushed the door open just a crack and peaked into the room cautiously.

What she saw shocked her to the core.

She had caught glimpses of Quinn's true feelings over the years. Minute flashes of the girl behind the stony mask. But never had she seen this.

Quinn and Rachel were standing flush up against the wall about three feet apart and facing each other with intense looks.

Rachel, she could tell, was furious and also hurt.

Quinn though. Quinn was barely recognizable to the Latina. That harsh mask of indifference that made the girl constantly look like she didn't give two shits about anyone or anything in the world was replaced with an almost heart breaking look of despair and sorrow.

Her hazel eyes were wide and red and her pales cheeks were stained with tears that couldn't be wiped away fast enough. Her hands were shaking as they gripped the hem of her skirt.

She looked like a picture of complete agony.

In her shocked state Santana could barely comprehend the conversation they were having. It was disjointed, completely out of context for the two girls who rarely spoke and never spoke so closely in such intensely emotional voices.

Shaking her head as if coming out of a fog, Santana pushed the door open slightly more and concentrated on the words coming out of their mouths.

"Rach, how could you do that?" Quinn asked, her voice trembling with emotion.

"I didn't do anything Quinn," Rachel argued, her arms stiff at her side and her fists balled in obvious frustration.

"Yes, you did!" Quinn argued back, her hands waving in front of her wildly. "You did it just to hurt me!"

"Quinn, for the last time! Nothing happened last night," Rachel said, her voice steely even as tears started to streak down her face. "You were the one who canceled on me!"

"I said I was sorry! I had to," the Head Cheerio yelled back, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Our anniversary, Quinn! It was our anniversary and you went to a stupid carnival with your stupid boyfriend," Rachel nearly screamed, her face turning red as she stomped her foot. "This is not okay Quinn. It's not right!"

"And you went and spent the night at Santana's house to get back at me!" Quinn accused, furiously rubbing her face.

"No!" Rachel shouted throwing her hands up in the air. "I went to Santana's house because she is my best friend! I went to Santana's house because she actually came over to my house without an act of god having to happen! I went to Santana's house because I banged my head on the radiator and I was bleeding everywhere Quinn!"

Quinn's face turned a sickly pale color and she instantly stepped forwards as a hand shot up to touch the back of the shorter girls head with a gentleness Santana had never seen before.

"Are you okay?" She asked quickly, her eyes wide with fear.

"I'm fine," Rachel said, flinching back away from Quinn, clearly still furious. "I'm fine because Santana was there!"

Fury instantly flashed across Quinn's face and her hands fisted into tight balls. "I'm sorry Rachel! Dammit, I'm so sorry! Maybe you should just fucking be with her if she's worth hurting me!"

Before the blonde had even finished her sentence Rachel was back in her face.

"Maybe I should be!" she all but screamed furiously, her tiny hands thrown back up in the air and her breathing labored.

Quinn's face instantly crumpled into a look of utter despair and she lurched forwards to pull the tiny girl into her arms.

"Please don't say that. Baby, I'm so sorry," she repeated over and over again like a mantra as pushed Rachel back against the wall.

"Quinn," Rachel said, trying to push the girl away. "I'm so sick and tired of your apologies! I need more!"

"Please, Rach! Please! I can fix this!" Quinn begged, her hazel eyes overflowing with tears as she began trying to kiss Rachel.

Rachel cried, her entire body shaking with tears as she tried to push Quinn away from her. "No, Quinn!"

Up until this point Santana had been watching all of this with open mouthed shock and confusion. She knew somewhere in the back of her mind that this should all make sense. Like she should understand what she was witnessing. But she couldn't for the life of her tell left from right at the moment. It was like a math question with the middle left out.

Rachel and Quinn each have two bananas. Who reaches Boston first, Rachel or Quinn?

But hearing those two words cried out with such disgust and anger snapped Santana out of her horrified trance like state and, before she could even blink, she had tore open the door, barreled into the room, and ripped Quinn away from Rachel with the force of a small explosion.

The blonde tumbled away from the two brunettes, her eyes wide and fearful as she managed to regain her balance and then she practically raced to the top of the risers.

Santana was only barely aware of the barrage of Spanish spewing out of her mouth as she hurled insults and threats at the blonde now staring at her as if she had come out of her closet wielding a flame thrower and dressed as the devil himself.

The Latina's arms and legs slapped and kicked violently at the air and if she had been more aware of her surroundings she would have registered Rachel's arms tightly enclosed around her midsection and keeping her from killing the Head Cheerio.

"What the fuck is your problem?" she roared even as she was valiantly trying to lunge at the obviously terrified blonde. "You fucking pushed her up against a wall and tried to kiss her! Estás maldita perra estúpida? Te voy a matar!"

"Santana calm down!" Rachel yelled from behind her, her arms tightening around her midsection and attempting to keep the bucking Latina from escaping.

"I'm not going to fucking calm down! You said no!" Santana screeched shaking her head furioulsy.

Across from them and standing at the top of the risers Quinn looked absolutely frozen in fear, but her hazel eyes darted to the still open doorway and back to them rapidly.

"What the fuck is your problem Quinn? What kind of monster are you?" The Latina continued, her voice echoing around the empty room like a bullet.

"Santana, please calm down! I can explain!" Rachel shouted, her voice thick with tears and her tiny hands stroking Santana's abs in a vain attempt to calm her down.

"Explain what? How she kissed you and you told her no so she tried harder?" Santana argued back, slowly starting to calm down in the girl's arms but keeping her eyes locked onto the Quinn's eyes which were still moving between them and the door nervously.

"Santana I'm sorry I haven't told you yet," Rachel started only to be interrupted by an angry cry from Quinn.

"No Rach, don't!"

"Quinn and I are dating," Rachel finished, her forehead falling against Santana's back as the Latina went completely slack in her arms.

"Rachel how could you?" Quinn screeched, panic practically seeping out of ever pore on her body as she pulled at her own hair.

In Santana's brain nerve endings and synapses were firing information back and forth like lightening bolts. Every moment from the last month or so rushed behind her eyes like a macabre picture show thrown into flash forward.

All of Rachel's sudden mood changes. The bacon sitting in her vegan fridge when her father's hadn't lived there for years. Her dance classes and vocal classes that never seemed to have a set day. Her habit of defending the blonde even when she was horrible to her.

Dating. Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry were dating. She didn't know how long it had been going on, but they were a dating couple. It was all so clear now to Santana. And it was all so clearly fucked up now.

Feeling like she was emerging from water she realized only a millisecond had passed since Quinn had screamed at Rachel and she heard Rachel trying to reassure the blonde. "Quinn it's okay!"

"No it's not!" Quinn screamed racing down the risers and pushing Santana away from Rachel. "I told you she was just using you to get to me! How could you be so stupid?!" she yelled in the other girl's face as tears rained down both of their faces.

Santana might have been in shock, she might have been more confused then she had ever been in her entire life, but she saw the minute look of doubt on Rachel's face as brown eyes instantly flashed towards her and she felt her heart give an intense lurch. Instantly she sucked down all the questions she had bubbling up in her throat and pushed Quinn away from the girl.

"Rachel you know that's not true. I swear it's not true," she begged, grabbing the girl's hands and holding them between her own.

The minute hint of doubt she had seen in the girl's red eyes was instantly gone and Santana sucked in a relieved breath. "I know it's not true Santana," Rachel said softly, her voice hoarse from crying.

"Rachel she is lying. She is going to use this against me," Quinn argued, trying to insert her self between the two brunettes forcefully.

"Oh fuck off bitch," Santana growled instantly turning on the blonde girl and furiously jabbing a finger into her shoulder. "What the fuck is your problem Quinn?! You're fucking dating her and treating her like shit!"

Just as Quinn opened her mouth to argue back, a response clearly on the tip of her tongue the bell rang out around them and the blonde's eyes became wide at the sound of students filling up the hallway outside the open door.

Instantly the blonde shot away from the two girls, not even looking back as she barreled out the doorway. "Oh fuck no!" Santana shouted at Quinn's back before turning around to Rachel. "Rachel, stay right here okay? I'm going to be right back."

Rachel eyes were sad and tired looking and her cheeks were stained with tears, but the petite girl wrapped her arms around her midsection and nodded. "Okay," she murmured, her bottom lip quivering.

"Okay," Santana said, nodding once before racing out the room in search of Quinn.

It wasn't that hard to see which way she had gone. Students were pressed tightly up against their lockers, their faces masks of shock. Just as they were beginning to move again Santana shot down the hallway, forcing them up against the walls.

The Latina followed the trail of disgruntled students and rounded a corner to see the Cheerio's locker room door slamming shut.

She hit he door running, all of her weight slammed against it, and a loud bang echoed through the empty locker room. Standing in front of the first row of lockers Quinn had her face in her hands and she was obviously trying to calm herself down.

"I asked you a fucking question!" Santana roared, stomping over to the blonde. "What is your problem you sick fuck?!"

"No!" Quinn snapped angrily, her face a burning red color as she poked Santana roughly in the shoulder. "You do not get to come in here and judge me!"

"The fuck I don't!" Santana shouted, pushing the blonde back up against the lockers and getting in her face. "That's my best friend!"

"And that's my girlfriend!" Quinn screamed back, her face screwed up in fury as she pushed Santana away from her. "You do not get to fucking judge me when you did the exact same thing with Brittany!"

If Santana had been furious before she now had entered onto a whole new plain of anger as she screamed back at the blonde. "The fuck I did! I was never a bitch to Brittany like you are to Rachel!"

"Because you didn't have to be!" Quinn yelled back, her entire body shaking like an earth quake. "Brittany was popular and what the world calls beautiful. But Rachel isn't. Rachel is amazing and wonderful and gorgeous and nobody in this town will ever give her the time of day because she's doesn't fit the Hollywood definition of beauty!" As she spoke, Quinn pressed back against the Latina, her voice stern and completely unwavering.

"So no, you weren't mean to Brittany but you are no fucking better than me! You just used different tactics then I did! You told Brittany to fuck every guy who asked for it so no one would suspect you two were together and you could keep her your dirty little secret! Instead of helping her with her very obvious learning problems you just sat around and let people think she is a dumb ass because you knew that if Brittany smarted up she would see through your bullshit! You tricked her into sleeping with you last year by telling her the plumbing was different because you were too afraid to tell her you love her! You turned her into a walking joke and a slut so you could have your cake and eat it too! So no! You don't get to judge me!"

Each and every one of Quinn's words cut through Santana like a knife and she shrank further and further back, not even trying to hold back tears at the very truthful words being directed at her. She could only watch in wide eyed horror as Quinn made her feel an inch tall.

"And then only when your back was against a fucking wall did you finally tell her you were in love with her! I'm not perfect! Most days I can't fucking look at myself in a goddamn mirror because of how I have to treat Rachel at school! But at least she fucking knows I love her! I tell her every day how much I love her! Even when I can't love myself! So don't come in here and tell me that I'm a sick fuck when you are no better than me!"

Santana's body was trembling with horror and rage at the girl's words. Horror because she couldn't argue with her and rage because the girl claimed to love her best friend and treated her like shit. Quinn continued on.

"I've done what I had to do to ensure that once High School is over Rachel and I can be together! And you don't get to judge me just because you've finally realized how amazing my girlfriend is. Not when less than two months ago you were calling her names and throwing slushies at her just to protect your image," Quinn finished, her breathing coming out in harsh pants against Santana's face.

That hit her hard. It hit her hard because it was true. Just a few months ago she had been habitually ruthless to the girl just an hour ago she had been convinced she was falling in love with.

A girl who she spent most nights dancing with, holding each other's bodies. A girl who had, in one short month, made her laugh more than she ever had in all of her life.

A girl who deserved so much better than herself or Quinn Fabray.

She realized with startling clarity then that she had changed. She wasn't and couldn't be the girl that Quinn had just described. Not any more.

Squaring her shoulders and thinking of every moment that had led to this Santana finally was able to make the decision she had been putting off for over a month. Squaring her jaw she narrowed her eyes at the blonde and began to slowly push her backwards. "Everything you have just said is true. But it fucking stops now," Santana growled in an eerily calm tone. "You're right. I am no fucking better than you, but I refuse to be worse," she said already starting to pull off her Cheerio's uniform as she stalked towards her locker.

Like a switch Quinn turned from fury to panic and her eyes widened as Santana shucked off her skirt and pulled a spare pair of jeans out of her locker. "What are you doing?" She asked, quickly racing towards the girl.

"Something I should have done a long time ago," Santana growled, pulling a t-shirt over her head and tossing her balled up uniform into a trash can.

"No!" Quinn yelled shaking her head from side to side. "You can't do this Santana! Think about what you're doing!"

"I am thinking," Santana growled, pushing past the girl. "For once I am. I am not going to stand by any more and let the people at this school treat Rachel like trash because you're a coward."

"Santana, people are going to talk," Quinn yelled out, her face beet red as Santana ripped open the door.

Santana tensed for just a second before looking back over her shoulder at the blonde and quirking an eyebrow. "Let them," she growled before storming out of the locker room, her feet leading her back to the choir room.

Outside the door she saw a group of Baby Cheerios giggling and peaking through the still open door and she bristled violently. "Beat it before I beat you," she growled furiously.

Instantly the three baby cheerios whirled around to see her, their eyes wide as they scampered off.

Sucking in a deep breath Santana walked through the door and felt her heart break at the sight of Rachel slumped down into a chair and crying into her hands. Quickly the Latina moved across the room and pulled the petite girl into her arms. "Shh it's okay," she cooed, running her still shaking fingers through thick brunette locks.

"No it's not," Rachel sobbed, shaking her head against Santana's chest. "It's not okay. God I'm so tired."

"Come on," Santana whispered, standing up and pulling the girl with her.

"Where are we going?" Rachel asked, her voice gravely and exhaustion filled.

"I'm taking you back to my house. You don't need to be here," Santana explained, reaching down to grab the shorter girl's back pack before tucking Rachel under her arm.

"I'm so tired," Rachel whined pitifully, her feet clumsy as Santana moved them forwards.

"I know you are," Santana cooed softly. "We'll be back at my place soon."

And she meant it. She had a lot of questions that needed to be answered. The sooner the better.

The ride is passed in near silence. Rachel is leaning against the door, her arms wrapped tightly around her midsection and her eyes shut tightly. Santana can just make out the whispers of the girl singing along with the radio.

Santana's mind is playing a serious game of catch up with all this new information. She's completely lost as to how so much has changed so quickly. Honestly she feels a little bit dense for not picking up on the signs, for not figuring it all out. But she has to get a break right? I mean who would have seen something as huge as this.

The thought that Quinn Fabray is gay has never even crossed into Santana's mind, it just seemed so far out there. But now pulling into her drive way and slowly pulling her keys out of the ignition she can see all these little moments from the last three years adding up to one very repressed blonde.

Quickly the Latina made her way around the car and helps Rachel out, keeping an arm around the shorter girls back as she lead her into the house.

"Are you hungry?" She asked softly as she kicked off her shoes and helped Rachel step out of hers.

"A little," Rachel murmured nodding her head and taking a deep breath.

"Come on." Santana lead them into the kitchen where she made short work of heating up left over stew from last night. Rachel sat at the kitchen table silently waiting and Santana took the time to make a list of questions in her head that weren't simply what the fuck the fuck repeated over and over again.

When the stew was done re-heating she poured in gingerly in to two bowls and carried it over to the table, setting one down in front of Rachel who hummed softly in thanks and one down at the empty seat next to the girl.

Running a hand through her thick raven colored hair Santana took a deep breath before sinking down into her seat next to the girl and staring into her stew blankly. She jumped slightly when Rachel's voice interrupted the silence. "You have you questions," she said more as a statement then a sentence.

"I do," Santana confirmed nodding slowly and turning to look at the girl.

Rachel's face was tired, but her eyes were wide an honest as she stared back at the Latina. Nodding once as a signal to start.

"Okay," Santana said pushing her stew away from her and clenching her hands on top of the table. "This thing between you and Quinn…you want this right? This isn't something she is forcing you in to?" This question was important to Santana. Though she was pretty sure Rachel Berry could be forced into nothing, she had to know.

Rachel shook her head minutely, as she pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth. "No, it's not like that. She's not forcing me to be with her."

"Okay," Santana said nodding and staring down at her hands. She hadn't missed that Rachel had failed to say if she wanted this or not, just that she wasn't being forced.

This also caused a whole new batch of questions to surface in her brain and she zeroed in on the most pressing one first. "So has this been going on since the beginning of the school year or is this a more recent occurrence?" She had to know if the girl she considered her best friend had been dealing with this for months and she hadn't noticed.

Rachel's face turned a deep shade of red at the question and answer came out shakily. Almost as if she were holding something deep in side of throat that kept her from talking properly. "Quinn and I have been in a relationship since October of freshmen year."

Santana was at once stunned and infuriated by this revelation. October of freshmen year! That was three years ago! When Rachel had yelled something about an anniversary Santana had figured maybe a one month, possibly even a three month. But three years? Three fucking years. It was mind boggling, especially when Santana factored in the way that Quinn had treated Rachel for the last two of them once she became Head Cheerio.

Her mixed emotions must have been written across her face because Rachel was looking at her with a mixture of fear and embarrassment, so the Latina tried to school her features as she reached over and wrapped up tiny hands in her own.

"I know what you're thinking," Rachel whispered, a tear tracking down her cheek and falling onto their joined hands.

"What am I thinking?" Santana asked around the lump in her throat.

"That I must be the stupidest girl in the world for staying with her," Rachel murmured before sucking in a pained breath and tightly shutting her eyes.

"Hey I do not think that at all," Santana said lurching forwards in her seat and forcing the girl to make eye contact with her. "I don't think that. I'm confused yes. But I do not think that."

"I should probably just start at the beginning I suppose," Rachel asked, her eyes dropping closed again.

"That sounds like a great idea," Santana murmured before scooting her chair closer to Rachel's and pulling the girl against her chest.

Honestly she wasn't sure if she was ready to hear this.

* * *

So what do you guys think? Drop me a line on my Tumblr if you have any questions and I'll try my hardest to answer them without revealing any spoilers! (Tumblr: JRAbraxas)

Also I want to write a Christmas Pezberry fic! I'm gonna make a post on my tumblr about it and I want to hear some prompts!


	7. Chapter 7

Author: J.R. Boone (Tumblr: JRAbraxas)  
Chapter Six  
Rating: It wouldn't be me if it wasn't M.  
Disclaimer: Yada, yada, yada, I don't own Glee or any of its characters. Just borrowing them.

* * *

It's late, nearly ten p.m. and Santana is sitting in front of the fire place staring into the flames deep in thought.

Above her head Rachel is asleep in her bed, exhausted from the day at school and then coming back here and talking for close to seven hours about her and Quinn. By the time the petite brunette finished she couldn't keep her eyes open and Santana needed some major alone time to think.

Whatever she had been expecting. She wasn't expecting that at all. At least not so much of it. So much history.

She was currently leaning over the arm of her father's over-stuffed chair, one hand tucked underneath her chin, and one hand clutching her cell phone. Every few minutes she would hover over the number one on her speed dial, but then she would stop herself. No not yet, still thinking.

**rsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrs rsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrs rsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrs rsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrs rsrsrsrsrsrsrsrs**

_**Freshmen Year **_

_Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry came into each other's lives in a moment when both of them needed someone. When both of them felt that their worlds were ending and all their lives would amount to were the ones they were forced to live in Lima Ohio. _

_The girls met in the room that in another year would become their sanctuary of sorts. And in an ironic sort of way they were both doing what they would be doing a lot of for the next four years. Crying. _

_Rachel had had a terrible morning. In fact it had been a terrible week. A few days before then her fathers had called to tell her that they were staying in the city. Indefinitely._

_She wanted to be upset and scream at them that they couldn't do this to her. That they couldn't just abandon her all alone in Lima. But she didn't. She knew this had been coming; she could feel it every time they were gone for longer times and there for shorter times. Her family wasn't a broken one. Her father's relationship was a strong as it had ever been. She was just out of the equation, that's all. _

_She had never felt so alone in her life and the stress of starting High School was just making it so much worse. _

_This morning she had gotten on the bus alone, and watched as other kids parents put their kids on the bus with proud smiles on their faces. _

_When the bus had pulled up to the school she had gotten off alone, and watched as a veritable sea of kids were dropped off by their parents, again wearing the same proud smiles. _

_As soon as the bell had rung she had watched as her class mates instantly started grouping up. The social hierarchy at this school was obvious but even people Rachel considered losers had managed to find and make friends before the second bell had rung. _

_There had been a few students who had come up to her, but after learning her name they had all hit the road running. A few with sneers of hatred. And she had seen a few kids she knew from middle school, but they weren't her friends then, why would they be her friends now?_

_Her breakdown occurred between fourth period and her lunch block. The petite brunette was busy digging in her locker for the pathetic lunch she had managed to put together when she felt a presence behind her. Tensing slightly she had turned around to find three girls all wearing red and black cheerleading uniforms looking at her with matching sneers. _

"_You're Rachel Berry aren't you?" The tall blonde standing in the middle asked her. _

_Trying to keep her body from shaking too bad the short girl nodded and smiled. "Yes I am." _

"_Not anymore," the blonde chuckled menacingly. "I think from now on you're going to be RuPaul." _

"_I'm sorry?" Rachel asked, her cheeks turning a bright red as she looked at the girl in embarrassed confusion. _

"_Well it only makes sense. I doubt two faggots would want a girl so they went out and found themselves a little treasure trail instead," the girl bit out, smirking when the two cheerleaders standing at her sides let out identical barks of laughter. _

"_Don't talk about my dads like that!" Rachel yelled, tears already beginning to form in her eyes at the complete stranger's cruelty. They weren't by any stretch the best parents in the world but they were the only ones she had. And somewhere deep inside Rachel was still hoping this was all a bad dream. She couldn't let this girl talk about them like that. _

"_Awe RuPaul is defending his family," the blonde laughed before extending her arm to the left and snapping in her fingers. Instantly a large cup appeared out of nowhere and Rachel felt a shiver go down her spine. She doubted she was about to be offered a refreshing beverage. _

"_Listen here freak," the blonde said stepping forwards and glaring down at the shorter girl. "We don't like your family in this town and I certainly don't like you in my school. So keep your eyes on the ground at all times and you'll receive less of these." _

"_Less of what?" Rachel asked backing up against her locker as far as she could. _

_A sadistic smile spread across the blonde's lips at he question and before Rachel could even blink the cup in the girl's hand was thrust towards her. Instantly pain rippled through her body. In theory she knew what had just happened but she couldn't focus on that right now. Right now all she could focus on was the pain. Like a thousand little needles poking her in the eyes. _

_She heard a cup drop to the floor and then laughter followed by the blonde's voice. "Welcome to High School RuPaul." _

_Rachel stayed standing in the hallway in shock for close to five minutes trying to collect herself. Around her she could hear students, some whispering her name and some laughing. When she could see again she began to stumble down the hallway, peeking into classrooms for an empty one. She couldn't break down in the hall. She just couldn't. _

_Finally she happened upon a darkened room and pulled the door open just as a sob escaped her throat and her legs gave out. _

_She sat there for probably ten minutes, just crying her heart out. Crying for the absolute hell she felt her life had become._

_When she finally managed to pull herself together she looked up just as another girl ran into the room on the other side, sobbing her eyes out as well. _

_The girl is beautiful is the first thought that ran through her mind. The second thought was she is too beautiful to be crying. And the third thought was really more of a horrible realization. That girl looked like a younger carbon copy of the girl who had just assaulted her and was tightly clutching a red and black uniform in her hands. _

_Feeling like she would be a creeper if she just sat there and let the girl cry Rachel shakily stood up and walked over to where the blonde has collapsed into a chair. Rachel knew she must look like hell but that doesn't stop her from gently tapping the girl on the shoulder. _

_Instantly the blonde's entire body tensed and reddened hazel eyes looked up to meet hers. "Are you okay?" Rachel asked shakily, wrapping her arms around her petite frame and shivering slightly. _

_The blonde studied her silently for a second, her eyes roaming over Rachel's soaking clothing and matching red eyes. Her voice came out meek. "Not really…are you okay?" _

_Rachel bit her bottom lip and looked down at her own clothing before looking back at the blonde. "Not really either." _

"_What happened to you?" The blonde asked, large tears rolling down pale cheeks. _

"_I…I'm not really sure yet," Rachel whispered sitting down carefully in the chair next to the blonde and gripping the cold plastic seat at both sides. "I think I just got put in my place." She studied the blonde again, her eyes going back to the uniform clutched between slender hands. She had to ask. "I…I'm not very knowledgeable about these things…but you do not look like you are crying tears of joy, and I was under the assumption that most girls do when they are holding a cheerleading uniform." _

_The blonde chuckled humorously at that and leant back in her chair letting the uniform fall to the ground. "Whoever…put you in your place. They were wearing one of those weren't they?" She asked glaring down at the offending material. _

"_Yes…yes they were," Rachel whispered nodding her head slightly. _

"_I don't want to be like that," the girl whispered shakily. "I don't want to be horrible to people like that. I just wanted to get through High School and leave this town." _

"_Then why don't you?" Rachel asked putting a gentle hand on the girl's arm. _

"_I don't really have a choice," the blonde whispered staring down at Rachel's hand. "My sister…she's the head Cheerio. And my Daddy…he said I have to follow in her footsteps. That it would make him proud." _

"_Oh," Rachel said nodding softly. She understood wanting to make your parents proud. She had obviously just not done so. _

"_Yah oh," the girl murmured as she wiped tears off of her cheeks. Sighing she looked over at Rachel and seemed to notice her shivering because in a second Rachel felt a thick jacket being wrapped around her shoulders. _

"_Thank you," Rachel murmured fingering the black and red material carefully. _

"_It's okay," the girl mumbled. "You're cold." _

"_What's your name?" Rachel asked turning to look at the girl as she pulled the thick material around her petite frame. _

"_Lucy, but I prefer Quinn. So Quinn Fabray, what's yours?" _

_Rachel's entire body turned rigid once she heard the girl's last name. She knew all about the Fabrays. Her fathers talked about them a lot. Late at night when they thought Rachel was asleep she could hear them talking about what a horrible man he was. How he was trying to get them to leave town. She wondered briefly if Russell Fabray would be pleased to know they had. _

_Quinn must have noticed her very obvious distaste at the name because she chuckled mournfully and hung her head. "You've heard the name." _

_Rachel swallowed around what feels like a mountain in her throat and nods. "My name is Rachel Berry," she said shakily, her eyes glued to her hand that is still resting on Quinn's arm. _

_Instantly recognition flashed in Quinn's eyes and she let out something akin to a sob. "Oh." _

"_Yah oh," Rachel mumbled. Inside she was panicking about what was about to happen. She was also wondering if she should move her damn hand away from Quinn before it was slapped away. _

_Quinn let out a deep sigh and looked down at the girl's hand as well._

_Completely lost about how to proceed when you find yourself in a room with a person who more than likely hates you Rachel cleared her throat. "Should I move my hand?" She asked shakily. _

_Quinn seemed to think about it for a second before shaking her head. "I don't want to be like my family. I'm not like my family." _

"_Okay," Rachel whispered glancing up at the girl who looked deep in thought. "So…" _

"_Leave it…please," Quinn whispered back as tears started to spill over her cheeks again. "Just in here?" _

"_Okay," Rachel said taking a deep breath as tears started to spill over her own cheeks. _

Every day after that the two girls would meet up away from judgmental eyes in the Choir room for lunch and talk.

In less than a month they had both found something they desperately needed at that moment. Someone they could talk to. Someone they could trust. Even if it was only for an hour a day.

Things at school had settled down a little at least. Quinn had asked about the drink that had been thrown at Rachel and discovered it was called being slushied. A tool that the Cheerios used to mark the people who would be the schools losers for the next few years.

As freshmen they were marked on the first day and then basically left alone for the rest of the year as the Cheerios refocused their attention back on the rest of the upperclassmen. It was explained to Quinn and the other Baby Cheerios that next year, when the seniors graduated it would be their job to pick up their mantle.

Rachel couldn't help to be a little relived at that knowledge. Next year sounded like forever.

Even as Rachel was beginning to mentally prepare herself she watched on sadly as Quinn was being pulled into a position she didn't want. She tried her hardest to make Quinn realize that she didn't have to follow the path her father obviously had set before her, but that had only ended in argument. And Rachel couldn't take it when they argued. Even if it was something that had to remain a secret for obvious reasons, Quinn was her only friend. She was the only person that was there for her.

Outside of that abandoned choir room they didn't interact with people. Even though Rachel was a freshman she still got a considerable amount of heat due to her fathers so she became adept at moving carefully down the less populated hallways. Meanwhile Quinn was being groomed to take over the Cheerios the next year, so she spent her time following around her sister and being instructed on how to rein the masses of the school into fear and angst.

But inside they could just talk. And talk they did. About everything. About their hopes and dreams and what they wanted to do when they got out of that town and into the real world. Rachel shared her love of Broadway and Quinn matched her with a passion for books.

In addition to the mental closeness they developed they also became physically close. It was small at first, just the occasional brushing of hands while they were talking. Soon it was more. Their hands lingered on each other's shoulders just a little bit longer. Their thighs pressed against each other's as they talked.

After a few weeks when an ever observant Quinn brought up the fact that Rachel rarely spoke of her fathers and had been eating the same thing for lunch every day the brunette broke down and told the blonde about her dads leaving her. Quinn held her close to her chest and just let Rachel cry her eyes out, softly cooing in her ear that they didn't know what they were missing out on.

And then a few weeks later when Quinn was all but forced by her sister into going on a date with Finn Hudson it was Rachel who held Quinn close against her chest, all the while telling her that someday she would be all the things she dreamed of being.

It was hard and not perfect, but very soon both girls began developing feelings for each other that neither one of them could deny or prevent, and it was terrifying.

_Rachel slinked down the hall way quietly, her ears open for any sound that would suggest she had been spotted. It was Friday and though she absolutely hated the idea of not seeing Quinn for the next two days she couldn't help but be excited. _

_She had finally gotten a handle on this whole living alone experience. She could cook for her self without burning down the house. She had learned the bus system like the back of her hand so she could get to her karate and singing lessons. And after a few weeks of coming home in ruined outfits she had even managed to get control of the washer and dryer and secure some clothing that she didn't mind getting ruined. _

_The weekends were an escape for her. A time to just be home without fear of who was waiting around the next corner. _

_Speaking of corners, she rounded one at that moment to see Francine Fabray standing around a group of Cheerios and explaining to them that Sue had canceled their weekend practices. Fran did not look happy about this. _

_Rachel let out a small squeak of surprise and instantly familiar hazel eyes turned to her. She could see Quinn was practically begging her to turn around and run away, and that is what Rachel intended to do. Quickly the petite brunette scurried backwards only to hit a solid body and lurch forwards into the hallway with a loud thud. _

_Instantly about fifteen sets of eyes fell on her and Rachel looked up to see a tall blonde cheerio and a shorter Latina cheerio staring down at her. Digging quick into her memory she recognized them as Brittany Pierce and Santana Lopez. Brittany quickly leaned over to help her up but a tanned hand shot out and pulled her back even as Rachel heard Francine storming over to them. _

"_Watch where you're going Manhands! You nearly ran over two of my best dancers!" The Head Cheerio shouted as Rachel clambered to her feet. _

"_It was just an accident," Santana grumbled from behind her and Rachel shot her a thankful glance that was cut off when Francine stepped between them and glared at the Latina. _

"_I don't remember asking you Lopez. But I do remember telling you to be here at this time, not prancing around the school with Pierce here like a lesbo," Francine snapped. _

_Instantly Rachel watched as the two baby cheerios rushed over to the group, the blonde looking as if she were about to cry and the brunette glaring fiercely down at the floor. Rachel's entire body began to shake with fear as Francine turned back to her and her arm extended to snap in the air. _

_Looking around Francine Rachel froze when she saw Quinn holding a slushy and staring down at it blankly. "Quinn, bring me the damn drink," Francine snapped angrily causing the blonde to flinch. _

_Hazel eyes looked up to meet Rachel's and all the petite girl could do was nod once before hanging her head. _

_The sound of tennis shoes making their way across the linoleum was like a dagger to Rachel's heart and she had to literally fight back tears when they came into her view. _

"_H-here," Quinn said shakily extending the drink to her sister. _

"_What is your problem?" Francine whispered so only the two of them could hear her. Well the two of them and Rachel. _

"_I don't have one," Quinn whispered back trying to push the drink into her sister's hands. _

"_Obviously you do Quinn. You're supposed to take over for me next year. You're going to be leading a bunch of Juniors and Seniors who already think that one of them should get the spot and you're hesitating right in front of them," Francine rushed out quietly, her voice tinged with a hint of desperation and care. _

_Quinn remained completely silent but her eyes darted from the cup to Rachel's before looking back down. "Okay," Francine said taking a deep breath before turning back to the Cheerios. "Quinn here just pointed out that Manhands bumped into her friends so she wants to throw it instead." _

_Quinn's eyes snapped up at that to Rachel and the shorter girl could tell she was about to protest. Making a snap decision she reached forwards and brushed her hand against Quinn's, silently communicating to just do it. _

_Quinn shook her head in the slightest, her eyes wide as her sister stood behind them and extolled why Quinn was going to make an excellent leader next year. "Do it," Rachel whispered closing her eyes tightly. _

"_I can't," Quinn whispered back, her face turning red and the drink sloshing slightly as her hand shook. _

"_Yes you can," Rachel whispered before reaching forwards suddenly, putting the tips of her fingers under the cup, and upending it into her face. Years of acting lessons came into play as the tiny girl jerked backwards at the icy beverage and let out a startled shriek. _

_Francine spun around, her eyes wide as she took in Quinn's face. Obviously understanding what had just happened by the surprised look on her sister's face Francine schooled her features and turned around to face the mostly laughing group of Cheerios. "Looks like she couldn't wait. And that is why a Fabray will always win," she laughed wrapping an arm around Quinn and dragging her back to the group. _

_As soon as she could Rachel took off down the opposite hallway, her tears mixing with the syrupy drink and burning her eyes so badly she wondered if she would go blind. _

_She didn't remember running home. She must have because the next time she calmed down enough to notice her surroundings she was curled up in a ball in the middle of her living room, her entire body trembling against the cold which had seeped down into her bones. _

_A loud pounding on the door is what brought her out of her zombie like state and very slowly the girl sat up and pulled her legs against her chest. "W-who's there?" She called out wiping her face on her already dried sleeve._

"_Rachel its Quinn. Please let me in," Quinn called out from the other side of the door. _

_Taking a deep breath Rachel pulled herself off of the floor and padded across the living room. When she reached the door she took a moment to glance at herself in the hall mirror and had to choke back a sob. She looked horrible. Her eyes were swollen and red, her face was stained from the slushy she hadn't washed off, and her hair was matted against her head. _

"_Rachel please," Quinn called out, her voice sounding completely devastated. _

_Deciding that their wasn't a damn thing she could do about her appearance at the moment even though she was horrified at facing Quinn like this, the petite brunette meticulously unlocked the many chains she had installed on the door before pulling it open. _

_Quinn let out something akin to a sob and lurched forwards, her slender arms wrapping tightly around Rachel's frame and pulling her against her chest. "I'm so sorry Rachel. I'm so sorry," Quinn repeated over and over again as her hands roamed up and down the shorter girl's back. _

"_It's okay," Rachel responded back. And she meant it. Being in Quinn's arms like this is what she had been dreaming of for the last month. _

_That day she ran into the choir room crying her eyes out she had barely been treading water, one good tug and she would have gone under. But she had met Quinn and Quinn was the first person in her life who had noticed her, who had been there for her when she needed it most. Rachel had been sinking and Quinn had pulled her up. _

"_No it's not okay Rachel!" Quinn sobbed pulling away from the brunette and wrapping her arms tightly around her body. _

"_Quinn-" Rachel started pleadingly only to be cut off when Quinn surged forwards and pressed the palm of her hands against her cheeks. _

"_I am so sorry," the blonde said, hazel eyes boring into Rachel's. _

"_I forgive you Quinn. I understand," Rachel said raising her own hands and resting them atop Quinn's. _

_Quinn let out a whimper and leaned forwards until their foreheads were touching and they were nose to nose. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life," Quinn whispered, her voice thick with emotions. "And I don't know what to do with it. I'm so afraid of screwing this up." _

"_Then don't," Rachel murmured, her eyes flitting back and forth between Quinn's eyes and lips. _

_Quinn let out a deep sigh and Rachel felt the girl's body tremble in her arms. Hazel eyes closed for a second before opening to reveal a determined intensity Rachel had never seen in them. "I-I can't be out. No one can know," Quinn said slowly, stretching out her words meaningfully. _

_Inside Rachel's heart gave a giant leap. Up until this moment she had been unsure if she was imagining this entire thing, because surely there was no way that Quinn Fabray would be interested in her. But now she knew. She understood what the girl was saying. She could feel it in her bones. _

_She nodded, her eyes shining with tears. "I know you can't. I'm not ready either," she murmured squeezing the girl's hands slightly. She meant that when she said it. She wasn't ready to come out. She honestly didn't know if she would ever be ready in this town. Not with the way her fathers had been treated and certainly not with the way she was already treated at school. _

_Quinn let out a deep sigh of relief then before closing the distance between them and pressing her lips against Rachel's. _

_It was magic in that moment. Both of their first kisses and they tasted like tears, cherry slushy, and hope. _

Freshmen year was their golden year. They were both so caught up in the notion of a clandestine love affair that it didn't matter that things at school were so hard they could barely stand it.

They worked around it. Every day at lunch they would meet in the abandoned choir room away from watchful eyes and learn more and more about each other until it felt like they were one person.

After school each day Quinn would go over to Rachel's house and the two girls would get lost in kisses and a glimpse into the domestic bliss they were dreaming of. It was easy for Quinn to slip away. Two alcoholic parents added up to two parents that preferred their children out of the house. They didn't have to feel guilty then.

During the hours not spent hidden away in a dark classroom or safely inside of Rachel's house the two girls did not see each other. Quinn's sister kept the blonde tightly by her side, guiding her and instructing her on what to expect the next year, and Rachel became adept at hiding away in the back hallways. It was easy for her. She hadn't made any friends and nothing in the school was of interest to her.

That year they saved each other. Just the two of them in their tiny little bubble, unaware of what troubles lay ahead of them. They were blissfully unaware that the next year things would start a slow slide down to hell.

_Sophomore Year_

_Rachel sighed and looked at her phone again for the hundredth time in under a minute. Tomorrow was the first day of school and she and Quinn had agreed the blonde would come over so that they could spend the day together before going back into the fray. _

_They had a game plan for this year. Quinn would be the Head Cheerio which meant she ran the show, so she could direct enough attention away from Rachel to not be noticeable. And Rachel for her part would continue on using the back hallways. _

_It wasn't perfect but it would work. At least until they were ready to come out. A feeling that had been growing mutually sure of over the last year. _

_After that Quinn would step down from her position as Head Cheerio or more than likely be forced out of it. If worse came to worse she could live with Rachel but she was really relying on the belief that her parents loved her no matter what. _

_Summer had been good and bad in different ways. _

_Good because they had more time to spend together; time when they could relax in Rachel's home and just be them. And it had been wonderful. _

_And then Quinn had sobbingly explained that she would be gone for the last four weeks of summer at Cheerio's boot camp. _

_The night before the girl was to leave the two of them had spent the night together. Naked limbs tangled in each other's and secure in the knowledge that this was where they wanted to spend the rest of their lives. _

_Again Rachel looked down at her phone and worried her lips. Quinn was supposed to have returned from camp two hours ago and thus she should have been at Rachel's house over an hour ago. But so far nothing. Not even a text. _

_Looking out the window Rachel frowned at the rain pouring down over the town, it was cold and oppressive and it made the petite brunette just want to curl up in Quinn's arms and dream of New York City. _

_Suddenly a flash of lights grabbed her attention to the street and her face scrunched up in confusion when a red Volkswagen beetle pulled into her drive way and honked it's horn. Her phone buzzed in her hand and she quickly flicked it open a see a poorly spelled text from Quinn telling her to open the garage. _

_Swiftly the diva ran through her house and did as the message said. The red beetle pulled up quickly and Rachel had barely closed the garage door when Quinn sprang from the car, her face a deep red color and tears streaming down her face. _

"_Baby what's wrong?" Rachel yelped in wide eyed surprise when Quinn literally flung herself into her arms and started to sob. _

_She couldn't understand a word the girl was saying but she knew Quinn well enough to know that something serious had happened. Pulling strength from deep down in her body the shorter girl picked up the blonde in her arms and quickly padded through the house into the living room. _

_Quinn sobbed and beat against her chest and Rachel had to fight down panic. She needed to be strong right now. "Baby tell me what's wrong. We can fix it." _

"_No we can't!" Quinn shouted her voice hoarse with emotion. "It's all ruined!"_

"_What's ruined Quinn?" Rachel asked using her hands to gently guide the blonde's eyes to hers. _

"_We can't come out Rachel. Not this year or next year or ever as long as we're in this town," Quinn cried out, her entire body trembling in Rachel's lap. _

_Rachel felt like she had been slapped by the girl's words. Instantly she felt a shiver run down her spine and she closed her eyes. "Why not?" The brunette asked shakily. _

"_I have to be the Head Cheerio. I can't stop," Quinn stammered out, shaking her head so fast Rachel could feel puffs of air across her cheeks. The girl's hazel eyes were huge, wide with a panic that was beginning to settle down into Rachel's bones. _

"_Baby, Quinn, just take a deep breath," Rachel asked as she stroked Quinn's cheeks in an effort to calm her down. _

"_Okay," Quinn said shakily before taking a deep breath and closing her eyes tightly. _

"_Okay. Now please tell me what is going on. What happened?" Rachel asked leaning forwards and resting her head against the blonde's. _

"_My father cut off Frannie. He's not paying for her college or her living expenses or anything," Quinn explained shakily as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. _

"_Why not?" Rachel asked trying to keep her voice calm despite the horrible sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. _

"_She's pregnant," Quinn whispered her body relaxing against Rachel's. "She's been dating a guy that works at some pizza place. He's black and they're pregnant and my dad went nuclear and disowned her. When I got home every picture of her had been taken down and my dad told me that I was his only daughter now." _

"_Oh my god," Rachel gasped, sitting back in complete shock. "That's horrible!" _

"_Don't you get it Rachel?" Quinn asked folding her arms around her body and shaking her head. "I've got to get a scholarship otherwise we'll never be able to come out until after freaking college is over." _

"_And you have to stay on the Cheerios to do that," Rachel murmured in understanding just as large hot tears began to fall down her cheeks. _

"_I'm so sorry baby," Quinn sobbed as she broke out in a fresh round of tears. "I have to see this through to the end and I have to do it convincingly otherwise someone else will take my spot." _

"_Which means that we can't come out," Rachel whispered, her entire body feeling cold at this. _

_Three years. That meant for the next three years she wouldn't be able to hold her girlfriends hand in school. Three years that the most important person in her life would have to act like she never existed. _

"_There's more," Quinn sobbed shaking her had forlornly. "Before Frannie left she wrote down a list of our main targets and Sylvester signed it. We have to follow that list." _

"_Oh," Rachel stammered, backing away on the couch and staring down at her hands. Quinn didn't have to explain, Rachel just knew what the girl meant. But still, she needed to hear it. "I'm on that list aren't?" She asked staring numbly down at her hands. _

"_Y-you're number one Rachel," Quinn cried hanging her head and collapsing forwards on the couch in tears. _

"_Okay…" Rachel stammered, unsure of what to possibly say in this situation. _

"_There's more," Quinn mumbled looking up at her girlfriend. "I have to…I need to start dating someone. Like seriously dating someone if I want my image to work." _

"_No," Rachel growled shaking her head and glaring at the blonde. "No this is not okay Quinn." _

"_Rachel I have to," Quinn sobbed pleadingly. "Santana is already dating Puckerman! People are going to start asking questions soon. I'm about to become the most popular girl in school." _

"_I don't care," Rachel snapped pulling away from the blonde and wrapping her arms tightly around herself. "This isn't right." _

"_Baby please! I'm doing this for us so we can be together. I don't even care about Finn," the Cheerio moaned forlornly. _

"_Oh my god," Rachel yelled jumping off of the couch and glaring down at the blonde. "You're already dating him aren't you?" _

"_It just happened! I swear!" Quinn sobbed reaching out and forcefully pulling the brunette into her lap. "Rachel we have to do this. Please, please say you're okay with this." _

"_But I'm not Quinn," Rachel cried out angrily as hot tears rolled down her cheeks. "This is a hell of a lot to ask me to be okay with!"_

"_It would all be an act though," Quinn pleaded. "I swear it would all be an act. Please Rachel I can't lose you. I just lost my sister. Please don't let me loose you too." _

_Rachel wanted to be furious. She wanted to tell Quinn to leave and never come back. But she couldn't. Not when the only person she had ever loved was staring at her with red tear filled eyes and begging her to be okay with this._

_And a harsh truth that Rachel was aware of was that Quinn was the only person she had in her life. She didn't have any friends. She didn't have any family. The only thing she had was Quinn and she just couldn't give that up. _

_So speaking around the pain settled into her heart she nodded. "Okay," she whispered closing her eyes tightly. "Okay." _

"_Oh god I love you," Quinn gasped pulling the girl tightly against her body. "I promise it will all be an act. I'm going to make this okay." _

When school began Quinn instantly rose to the top of the social ladder with Finn by her side. She was High School royalty by the time the second bell rang and it took every fiber of Rachel's will power to not break down crying.

It wasn't like their first year at all. This year Rachel couldn't hide in the shadows and Quinn couldn't just avoid her. Not when Rachel was on the top of the list and Quinn was supposed to play her judge, jury, and executioner.

The only thing that kept Rachel going was the fact that every night after she had been forced to walk though hell, Quinn was always there. She could see it in every thing that Quinn did that the blonde was truly sorry, that she truly didn't mean to hurt Rachel.

It helped. It was Rachel's saving grace.

But somewhere about half way through the year it started to change. Quinn started to change. The sorrow was still there in her eyes but now it was competing with a type of pride that made Rachel's skin crawl.

She saw it every day at school. That proud glint in the girl's eyes when students scurried out of her way, when teachers basically let her get away with murder.

It scared Rachel so much to see this new Quinn. This Quinn was so different then the girl she had met on the first day of freshmen year that was crying over being forced into a Cheerio's uniform. This Quinn was the Queen and everyone else were either her loyal subjects or mere peasants. And this Quinn was not the sweet girl who had cried in her arms over being on the Cheerios. This Quinn was the Head Bitch in Charge.

Still every night Quinn came back to Rachel. She came back to Rachel and they laughed and loved and spent their time making great plans for their future. Plans where Rachel was an EGOT winning Broadway legend, and Quinn was a New York Times best selling author. A future where they didn't have to worry about people judging them. They would just be Rachel and Quinn, two people in love.

So Rachel clung to that as best as she could, and it worked. It held them together.

But at the expense of their relationship Rachel could feel her life slipping away before her very eyes.

Which is why on the first day of junior year things exploded.

_Junior Year_

_Rachel was sitting in her homeroom, minding her own business and playing on her laptop when she felt her self control break. In her head the moment sounded like a record player's needle that had been suddenly pulled away from its place. _

_Around her other students were laughing and joking with each other, but Rachel had her laptop open and was currently plugging her syllabus into a power point presentation to help prepare her self for the school year. _

_In the bottom corner of her screen a message appeared telling her she had comments on her Myspace and she froze. That page was sacred to her. All the last two years when things had seemed so hard she had always found a sort of perfect relief in just singing her heart out and then methodically posting the videos she made. _

_Years from now in the future she wanted that simple Myspace page to still be there so her fans could go back to when she was just a little girl with big dreams. _

_So far the page was entirely her own. No one besides Quinn knew it even existed, so she was filled with a nervous anticipation at the thought of someone else looking at it. For all she knew this moment could be her big break. _

_But it wasn't. _

_Not even close. _

_When Rachel clicked on the message and her latest video was pulled up she was greeted with message after vile message spewing hatred at her. Horrible words written to inflict absolute pain upon her. _

_And the first message she saw was from her girlfriend, telling her she should get sterilized. _

_She had never felt so violated in her entire life. _

_Choking back a sob the Diva instantly slammed her laptop closed and pushed everything she owned into her back pack. Barely holding her self together she told the teacher she was feeling sick and nearly flew out of the room. _

_At school she only had one place where she knew she could cry and be uninterrupted at that was the abandoned Choir room. _

_Sobbing so hard her entire body hurt the petite brunette ripped open the door and ran into the room where she promptly threw herself down on a chair. A second later a shadow moving across the room caught her eye and she looked up to see the school's Spanish teacher taping something to the door and then walking off. _

_Rubbing her eyes the brunette shakily walked across the room and pulled open the door to reveal a sign up sheet for a Glee Club. _

_Suddenly she felt as if a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. She had long been begging the school to start some kind of musical activity so she could make use of her talents, but Figgins had always been very blasé against it. _

_So wiping her face clean of tears the Diva quickly signed up for it. She had had her musical release taken away from her by her own girlfriend just an hour ago. And now maybe she would have a new one, and if she was lucky maybe a few friends to boot. _

_Still unable to face the masses though the Diva went back to her chair and curled up into a ball where she stayed until the lunch bell rang. _

_Again movement caught her eyes and she looked up this time to see Quinn staring in shock at the sign up sheet. A second later the door burst open and Quinn was slamming it behind her. _

"_Rachel what the hell are you thinking sighing up for that! That's going to make you an even bigger target!" The blonde shouted pinching her brow. _

_Fury coursed through Rachel's veins and she was off of her chair in a flash. "I don't fucking care!" The girl shouted stomping her foot and making Quinn flinch back in fear. "I have gone along with everything you have done Quinn because I love you. But what is left for me? Nothing that's what!" _

"_What are you talking about?" Quinn asked looking wide eyed at the brunette. _

"_I'm talking about my Myspace page Quinn! You knew how much that meant to me! It was the one musical release I had. The one thing I could be proud of!"_

"_No Rachel I can explain!" Quinn begged holding up her hands defensively. _

"_How can you explain that Quinn! You're the only other person who knew about that page! How could you show it to the Cheerios knowing what they would do with it!?" Rachel shouted, hot tears splashing down her cheeks and her entire body trembling with pain. _

"_I had to Rachel!" Quinn cried. "One of the girls on the squad saw me watching one of your videos and I had to cover it up to make it look like I was just watching it to make fun of you!" _

"_That's not good enough Quinn!" Rachel yelled throwing her hands up in the air. "I am so sick and tired of all of this!" _

"_Please don't say that," Quinn begged dropping to her knees in front of the shorter girl and wrapping her arms around Rachel's legs. "Please don't leave me!" _

"_Quinn this isn't okay! I can't do this anymore. It hurts every day!" Rachel sobbed out trying to back away from the blonde only to fall down onto the floor in front of her. _

"_Please Rachel I need you," Quinn cried shaking her head. "You're the only good thing I have in my life." _

"_This isn't right," Rachel sobbed out as Quinn wrapped her arms around her and tightly pulled her to her chest. _

"_Please Rachel," Quinn begged. _

"_No. Just leave me alone!" Rachel sobbed out using all of her energy to pick herself off of the ground and just run away. _

That night when Rachel had calmed down enough to think rationally Quinn came over around midnight and begged for forgiveness. And because Rachel loved her and because she felt alone otherwise she did forgive her.

But one thing the girl refused to give up was the Glee Club. She just couldn't. Not after that first day when she finally felt appreciated for her talents be someone other then Quinn.

Finn was a problem though right from the start. Quinn had never had to deal with someone being openly attracted to someone and she handled it badly.

Rachel will admit that she handled it even worse. It was just so amazing to have someone who obviously liked her and for the most part wasn't ashamed to show it. So she flirted back with the boy with no intention of going through with it.

Junior year seemed to be shaping up a lot better than sophomore year at least. Yes Quinn was completely horrible to her at school. But at home the girl was bending over backwards to prove her love to Rachel. And besides the extra attention she had friends now. They weren't the best friends in the world but they were people she could call her own.

And then Quinn got pregnant.

_Rachel was standing at her stove making soup when she heard the front door open. Wiping her hands off on her apron she walked out into the hallway excited to see her girlfriend, instead she froze when she saw Quinn staring at her, obviously devastated. _

"_Quinn…what's wrong?" Rachel asked her hand freezing on the archway. _

_Quinn let out a small sound, something akin to a squeak really and pulled her hand out of her pocket. _

_Rachel could literally feel her heart drop to her feet when her eyes zeroed in on the small white stick clutched tightly between the girl's fingers. _

"_What is that?" Rachel asked, already knowing the answer. _

_All Quinn could do was stare at her wide eyed and open and closer her mouth. _

"_So it's positive then?" Rachel asked taking a deep breath. _

_When Quinn let out a small nod Rachel let out a scream. "Get out of my house now!" _

"_Rachel please," Quinn whispered, her entire body shaking._

"_No! Get out now!" Rachel screamed throwing the spatula she had carried in from the kitchen at the blonde's head. _

_Quinn just managed to duck the instrument but her balance was set off and the blonde all but collapsed on the floor in a pile of tears. "It's not what you think," Quinn whimpered shaking her head repeatedly. _

"_Then what is it Quinn! Please tell me how you fucking someone else isn't what I think!" Rachel bellowed collapsing onto the floor in a fit of tears. _

"_I was drunk!" Quinn screamed, before throwing the pregnancy test so hard against the wall that it shattered. "I was drunk and he took advantage of me!" She sobbed before laying down and curling up into a ball. _

_Rachel felt like she had just been hit by a car and every fiber of her being was telling her to stay strong, but she couldn't help it. In a flash she had crawled across the floor and pulled Quinn into her arms._

"_I was upset about our fight and he-he got me drunk!" Quinn sobbed into Rachel's chest. _

"_Oh god," Rachel cried, her entire body shaking with tears. "It's going to be okay baby, I promise." _

It was not okay. The two girls had remained on that floor for an hour talking about what they were going to do. Rachel believed in her heart that Quinn was telling the truth. She wanted to murder Finn, but she stayed with Quinn and understood why the blonde needed to stay with Finn.

She felt like such a fool when it came out that Puck was the father after all.

_Taking a deep breath the brunette carefully approached her girlfriend who was sitting silently in shock outside of the choir room. _

"_I had to tell him," Rachel whispered sitting down next to the blonde. _

"_I'm not mad at you," Quinn said numbly, her eyes trained straight ahead. "You only did what I wasn't brave enough to do. Tell the truth." _

_Rachel nodded at this and steeled her nerves. "I can't be with you any more Quinn. Not now. Maybe not ever again." _

"_Is it because I slept with Puck?" Quinn asked her voice blank. _

"_No…I just can't trust you anymore Quinn. I feel like all the work we've done over the last few years has been for nothing. I don't even know who you are anymore." Rachel murmured holding back her own tears. _

"_Please don't leave me," Quinn whispered, her eyes filling with tears. _

"_I'm sorry Quinn…I have to," the brunette murmured before doing the hardest thing she had ever done. Walking away from a crying Quinn Fabray. _

Rachel's own tears came later. She cried so hard for weeks after that. The littlest thing would set her off, but it was worse at home. For the second time in her life she found herself alone in an empty house with no one but herself.

She tried to fill the void. She dated Finn and Jessie, but each relationship was worse than the one before. And she tried to make friends but those always seemed to end badly.

Still she tried to remain strong.

But when she found Quinn laying on her door step a week after giving up Beth her resolve shattered.

_Grabbing the back of groceries in her passenger's seat Rachel jumped out of her car intending to run into her house and curl up with a good movie. _

_Instead she froze when she saw Quinn sitting in front of her door, eyes closed, and one hand wrapped tightly around a bottle of vodka. _

"_Oh Quinn," Rachel murmured shaking her head and walking up to the girl. _

"_She's gone Rachel," Quinn whispered staring up at the brunette through glassy eyes. "She was my perfect little thing and now she's gone." _

_Instinct told Rachel to just walk past the blonde. To shut the door on that story. But she couldn't. Not after all the time they had had together. Not after everything they had worked through. So she did the only thing she could do. She reached down, helped the girl off of the ground, and pulled her into her house. _

_Because she was Rachel Berry, and because she knew that at one time she had loved Quinn with all of her heart, she had to give it a second try. One last shot for all of their dreams to come true. _

_She had to try. _

_So when senior year had started she had stood back and watched as Quinn clawed her way back to the top. _

_And claw her way Quinn did.  
_

_After Quinn's fall from grace last year, this year the blonde wasn't taking any chances. Her treatment of Rachel at school had moved to downright vicious. And their usual nights together were now far and few in between because Quinn spent most of her nights with Sam convincing the boy that she was in love with him.  
_

_Rachel could see how scared Quinn was. She could see it in every move the blonde made.  
_

_And she hated her for it.  
_

_But she loved her all the same.  
_

_She had resigned herself to believing that Quinn was the only person who would ever truly love her and even if it wasn't perfect it was all she had. _

_But she couldn't carry on like the last few years. It was too much pressure on her. So she had decided to kill that former life. She would stay in Glee Club because she loved it even if no one really wanted her there, but that was it. _

_She couldn't do all the school clubs and make nice with people who didn't care about her. _

_She couldn't fix a show smile onto her face and carry on through out the day like nothing bothered her. _

_Unlike the previous three years of school Rachel knew exactly what to expect. She knew the second they stepped into the hallways that morning and Quinn had made a beeline for Sylvester's office._

_She planned to just keep her head down and finish the school year out. Resigned to the fact that Quinn was all she had. _

_And then Santana had come along. _

Santana sat in complete dumbstruck silence when Rachel finished. It was like her brain had it a wall and she didn't have the faintest clue in hell what to do with it.

She had been expecting something but she sure as well hadn't been expecting all of that. A story that was at once an epic tale of love and a tale of complete tragedy.

Before they had really gotten into it Santana had moved them upstairs to her bedroom and Rachel was exhausted by the time she was done. That much was obvious by the sheer fact that she was fighting to keep her eyes open. Still the petite brunette was studying Santana closely.

"Now do you think I'm an idiot?" Rachel asked meekly, her eyes closed tightly and her fist curled around Santana's blankets.

"No," Santana snapped quickly and shook her head. "No I don't. I just…I need to think."

"Okay," Rachel murmured as a fat tear escaped her eyes and splashed down on Santana's pillow.

"I'm gonna…I'm gonna go downstairs. Why don't you take a nap…you look tired," Santana mumbled jerkily standing up from her bed and striding towards the door.

"Santana," Rachel called out.

"I just need to think. I don't even know what to say," Santana said choking back sudden tears.

"Just say you'll still be my friend. I need a friend really bad right now," Rachel whispered, her voice heavy with sleep.

Santana didn't respond. Instead she closed the door, went down the stairs, and sunk into the couch.

It was all so much to handle at once.

Part of her did think Rachel was stupid. Stupid for staying with Quinn for so long and even stupider for taking her back after the bitch had cheated on her and lied about it.

But at the same time she could kind of understand.

Rachel didn't have a whole lot of options in her life. Two fathers who had walked out on her, a mother who didn't want her, and a group of friends who sucked most of the time. Hell even two months ago Santana had been horrible to her.

But Quinn was obviously there for her during all of it. Even if in Santana's opinion the blonde had basically manipulated Rachel within an inch of the girl's life, she had still been there for her.

For every bad time they had there must have been an equally good time that had made it all seem worth it to Rachel.

The grass might be greener on the other side…but why would Rachel take a chance on it when she had her own grass, even if that grass was nearly dead.

The thought she had eventually came to was Rachel asking her to just be her friend right now.

That was a bitter pill to swallow when just this morning she had made up her mind to tell the girl she liked her. Could she now just stand back and be the shoulder Rachel cried on?

But then again now after everything she had learned she had to ask herself if she were truly any better than Quinn. Especially considering that as Quinn had oh so graciously pointed out that she had done the same thing with Brittany, only using different tactics.

But she gave pause then and wondered. When she was at her worst did Brittany have anyone to go to that she could just cry to? Had Brittany had someone that she could share her hopes and fears with? The answer she came up with was probably not. And that hurt.

She imagined Brittany sitting home alone on one of the several nights that Santana had canceled plans with the girl because some jock had asked her out. Brittany alone when Santana left after they had sex like it had meant nothing to her.

What made her any better than Quinn was a question she asked herself. She couldn't come up with an answer but she did come up with a solution. She would be better than Quinn. If she could do that much then maybe she could be good enough for Rachel.

A rough knock on her front door interrupted the brooding silence and Santana quickly walked across the room and opened it to find Quinn standing on her front porch, one hand clutching a set of keys and the other clutching a dry-cleaning bag containing a fresh Cheerios suit.

"What the fuck do you want?" Santana snapped pushing the blonde backwards and stepping out into the frosty night air.

"Where's Rachel at?" Quinn asked, her cold hazel eyes looking unflinchingly back at the Latina.

"She's upstairs in my bed. She fucking passed out after the day she's had," Santana growled crossing her arms over her chest challengingly.

"Okay," Quinn said nodding and taking a deep breath before pushing the Cheerio's uniform at Santana. "Take this now."

"Fuck that," Santana said slapping the garment bag away from her in disgust.

"Dammit Santana just take it!" Quinn yelled in frustration.

"No! Did you not hear me today! I'm done! I'm not stepping foot into that school again in one of those fucking things! Jesus Christ Quinn, a month ago you practically ripped one off of my back! What is your deal?" Santana raged her eyes alit with fury.

"I wanted you to stay away from Rachel!" Quinn shouted back angrily.

"Why? She can't have friends because she is with you?" Santana asked shaking her head in disbelief. "Are you really that intent on keeping her with you that you would cut her off from someone wanting to be nice to her?"

"Oh spare the nice routine Santana. You screwed up with Brittany and now you're trying to steal my girlfriend," Quinn growled angrily.

"Oh so you're afraid of a little competition then? Well news flash Quinn! Rachel is her own fucking person and only Rachel decides what Rachel does," Santana yelled jabbing her finger into the blonde's shoulder.

"Than you don't deny it," Quinn growled out lowly, her hazel eyes narrowing severely.

"No I don't deny that Rachel is amazing and deserves better then your ass," Santana laughed humorously. "But you've got a fucking hole in your head if you think that is the only reason that I want to be friends with her."

Quinn could obviously see that this tactic wasn't working because she changed gears in a heartbeat. "Please Santana. Just rethink this. People are going to start talking about you if you're hanging out with her all the sudden."

"And you think I fucking care?" Santana scoffed. "I told you earlier and I'll say it again. Let them fucking talk. But while we're on the subject of talking," Santana started, her eyes narrowing and her voice dropping to a deadly quiet that made Quinn release a visible shiver. "Rachel is my best friend now. She is under my protection. And you know how protective I can be Quinn."

"Fuck you," Quinn stammered her eyes widening at the sadistic smile on Santana's face.

Santana continued like she had never been interrupted. "The shit at school? All the slushies and shit are going to stop. If I see even one of your little minions come at Rachel with anything but a smile on their lips and a song in their heart I am going to put them into the fucking hospital."

"Santana you know I can't do that. It's not like a switch I can flip," Quinn nearly begged, obviously understanding that Santana was being completely serious.

"And then you are going to have to go to Sylvester and explain to her why her Cheerios are dropping like flies. Because I swear to god Quinn. I will fuck up each and every one of them. Do you fucking understand me?" Santana finished already turning back to the door.

"Santana you can't do this. What the hell do you expect me to do?" Quinn begged following the girl into the house and throwing down the forgotten uniform.

At this Santana turned around and smiled at the girl sadistically. "That sounds like a y-p not a my-p Quinnie. You created this monster to cover up your own fucking mess. You fix it," she snarled before stomping up the steps, not hearing any of Quinn's protests.

When she opened her door she sighed at the sight of Rachel curled up in a ball on her bed, tear stains evident on the girl's still slightly red cheeks. "Hey Shorty wake up," Santana murmured sitting down on the bed and gently shaking the girl's shoulder.

Tired brown eyes came into focus and Rachel yawned. "How long did I sleep?" She asked rubbing her face.

"Just a couple of hours," Santana murmured brushing a strand of hair behind the girl's ear. "Quinn is waiting downstairs for you."

"Oh…okay," Rachel murmured sitting up in the bed and looking down solemnly at her hands. "Are we still friends Santana?"

Santana took a deep calming breath at this before reaching across the bed and taking the shorter girl's hands in her own. "You without a doubt are my best friend Rachel Berry."

"Really?" Rachel asked, a smile nearly splitting her face as tears made her eyes watery.

"Really," Santana said nodding before squeezing the girl's hands. "But from now on we're doing this the right way."

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked, her head cocking adorably to the side.

"I mean is no more of this fake bullshit where at school we act like the other one doesn't exist. We are going to be real friends and we are going to walk together in the hallways like we fucking own that place," Santana growled out, her voice not leaving any room for discussion.

"I…I would really like that," Rachel whispered blushing and looking down at their joined hands.

"And another thing. I know you may not want to hear this, but I have to say it and I'm only going to say it once," Santana said taking a deep breath before cupping Rachel's cheek and forcing eye contact. "You deserve so much better than Quinn gives you Rachel."

"I know I do," Rachel whimpered leaning into the girl's palm.

"Do you still love her?" Santana asked, bracing for the answer.

"Yes…maybe…I don't know anymore," the brunette admitted shakily. "It's all so confusing. It's just…I've worked so hard and long for this. I have wished on every star in the sky for Quinn. And now we're so close to the finish line and it's like I don't even know why we started the damn race to begin with," the shorter girl admitted as tears started rolling down her cheeks. "I just…I can't quit yet."

"Okay," Santana said pulling the girl tightly into her arms. "All right. I understand. And I'm going to be here for you no matter what."

"Do you really mean that?" Rachel asked meekly.

"I really mean that," Santana said kissing the girl's forehead gently.

The two girls stayed embracing each other for a minute before Rachel finally pulled away and smoothed own her clothing. "I should probably go listen to what she has to say."

"Do you want to be alone?" Santana asked unsure of her self as she hesitantly got off of the bed.

"No, please come," Rachel murmured grabbing the Latina's hand and pulling her out of the room.

"Right behind you," Santana whispered, squeezing the girl's hand as they walked down the stairs to see Quinn nervously glancing at her phone.

Santana could feel the shorter girl take a deep breath before clearing her throat and then watched as Quinn's eyes snapped to them. "Hello Quinn," Rachel mumbled as the two brunettes stepped down on the landing, Santana still holding the girl's hand tightly in her own.

"Hey Rach," Quinn said, relief obvious in her voice and her eyes trained on Rachel's. "Can we go talk about this at home?" Santana felt an odd pang shoot through her heart at the possessive word Quinn had used to describe Rachel's house.

"The house is freezing though," Rachel murmured shaking her head.

"Not any more," Quinn said quickly holding up her hands to reveal patches of black grime. "I went over and fixed it before I came here. It was that same pipe that broke last time."

Rachel smiled a little at his and dipped her head. "Did you remember to lock the door on your way out?"

"Shit," Quinn cursed lightly, her face flushing an intense red.

"Oh Quinn," Rachel chuckled a tiny fond smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

Santana could feel her skin crawling by this point. I mean she knew the whole thing was real. But this was like suddenly walking into your living room Christmas night and finding your parents wrapping up all of your gifts.

This was real. It was very real. They were a real couple with history. History like Quinn knowing how to fix Rachel's furnace. History like Rachel knowing that Quinn would forget to lock the front door.

It was all just so real. But Santana managed to keep it together and not scream at the oddity of it all. Instead she just squeezed Rachel's hand when the girl squeezed hers and watched as Quinn wrapper her own coat around the girl's shoulders.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school Santana," Rachel said smiling widely at her.

"Oh totally. And remember what I said. No more fake shit," Santana said struggling to keep her voice from betraying her inner turmoil.

"I wouldn't forget for the world," Rachel said smiling before walking out into the cold.

"And Q," Santana said grabbing the blonde's arm so tight she wondered if it would bruise. "Don't forget what I said either. I will fuck up anyone who so much as blinks at that girl in a way I don't like," she growled before pushing the blonde out into the cold and locking the door behind them.

After that Santana was spent. She wanted to go curl up in a ball and either scream or cry. But instead she sat down on the couch and flipped open her phone, her thumb instantly hitting the number one on her speed dial.

After a few rings Brittany's bubbly voice came on to the line.

"Hey Sanny!" The blonde chirped happily.

"Hey Brittany," Santana managed to get out through the lump in her throat.

"Santana what's wrong?" Brittany asked instantly.

"I'm so sorry I was so horrible to you Brittany," Santana cried pulling a blanked down on top of her and curling up with the phone in her ear.

"Hey it's okay," Brittany soothed gently. "I know that things were hard for you and you were just dealing with them."

"That's still no excuse," Santana said closing her eyes and shaking her head.

"Well it's not a very good one but it is one and I accept it Sanny. Besides your different now," Brittany offered reassuringly.

"Am I?" Santana asked massaging her forehead to stave off the exhaustion head ache that was starting.

"Yes you are. I know it and now it's time for you to show everyone else," Brittany said unwaveringly.

"You really are amazing Brittany Pierce," Santana whispered, smiling fondly as she fought off sleep.

"I know I am. And you are too. And the new you is going to be epic. I can just feel it," the blonde explained as if it was a simple concept.

"I hope I can be Brittany," Santana said smiling and burrowing down in the over stuffed couch. "I hope I can be."

* * *

**A/N: So what do you guys think? If any of you have any questions that won't reveal the entire plot feel free to message me on Tumblr. I wouldn't message me on here though because for some reason the site like waits to tell me I have messages for like weeks and then I end up feeling like a fizzy douche. **

**Also, I am looking for someone to do a Pezberry Tumblr RP with me playing the Rachel to my Santana. If anyone is seriously interested message me on Tumblr por favor. **


	8. Chapter 8

Author: J.R. Boone (Tumblr: JRAbraxas)  
Chapter Eight  
Rating: It wouldn't be me if it wasn't M.  
Disclaimer: Yada, yada, yada, I don't own Glee or any of its characters. Just borrowing them.

* * *

There's a moment the next morning when Santana questions her own sanity. It happens after she has woken up and showered and is then standing in front of her closet wondering what to wear. It's a small moment, but it's a flicker of doubt all the same.

This is the first time since the first day of Freshmen year that Santana has no clue what is going to happen at school. She doesn't regret the decision she made the night before but she can't help but feel terrified at the prospect of showing up at school today without her red and black armor.

And for what she's not even sure at the moment. For Rachel obviously, but what exactly does that mean. Yes it's blatantly true that Santana likes the girl in a romantic way if the full feeling in her heart means anything. But Rachel isn't with her and Santana isn't sure if she ever will be. The girl is with Quinn, and yes Quinn does not deserve Rachel, but that doesn't change anything.

She thought a lot about them last night. Rachel and Quinn. She wants to with all of her heart just write Quinn off as a complete and total bitch, but alas she can't. Given her own history with Brittany that would be a major case of the pot calling the kettle a cowardly pressed lemon.

She gets Quinn probably more than anyone else in this world can. She can relate to the fear that Quinn walks around with each day, and she can only imagine how much harder it is for the blonde. Really even before Santana came out to her father she knew on some base level that he would always love her. He might have taken it badly, but she knew that at the end of the day that love would still be there.

Quinn doesn't have that. In fact she has found that out for sure. Sure the whole Babygate thing was just completely fucked up, even more so now that Santana can factor Rachel in to the equation. But it's obvious that Quinn didn't mean for that to happen. She didn't make a conscious choice to let Puckerman turn her into a teen mom episode. She made a mistake.

And a consequence of that mistake was finding out that without a doubt her parent's love was conditional; that there were limits on how much they loved their child.

So she can't find it within her heart to paint a scarlet letter on Quinn's chest and shred her to pieces over how she treats Rachel.

But that doesn't mean that she likes, approves, or accepts it in any shape or form.

She just can't do anything about it. She can't because Rachel is the most forgiving person on the planet and even if she's unsure about it herself Santana knows that Rachel is still in love with Quinn.

And that stings.

The only metaphor she can come up with is watching from the sidelines as a horrible player is given the shot at the basket when she's sitting on the bench knowing, or at least thinking that she could do a better job.

So she is doing this for Rachel without knowing for sure what's going to happen to her. She thinks for a second that this is probably the most selfless thing she has ever done and that makes her feel nice. It makes her feel good and sure and the doubt that has been gnawing at her fades away. She has a purpose. She can do this.

Ten minutes later she bounds down the steps in a pair of her favorite skinny jeans, a black leather jacket, and her motorcycle boots, ready to kick some ass. The smell of brewed coffee makes her smile widely and she pokes her head into the kitchen to see her father.

"Fancy seeing you here," Santana chuckled quickly making a bee line for his coffee cup.

"What is this?" Her father asked clutching his heart dramatically and looking up at his daughter. "Surely this can't be my daughter wearing one of thousands of outfits she just had to have despite the fact that she never wears them."

"Oh god you're so funny," Santana grumbled sarcastically as she sat down and began sipping his coffee in earnest.

"I try," Santos chuckled as he got up to fix him self another cup of coffee. "But no seriously Mija, what's with the street clothes?"

Santana took a deep breath before replying. "I quit the Cheerios last night," she said, her voice coming out a lot surer then she was.

"Really?" Santos asked sitting back down in his chair and raising an eyebrow. "Is there a reason for that?"

"A few," Santana said nodding and sitting forwards in her chair. "But the most important one is I used to be completely horrible to Rachel and I just can't be that girl anymore."

Santos was quiet for a moment before smiling softly at his daughter. "I think that is a very mature reason Santana. And I'm very proud of you."

"I…I'm very proud of myself too," Santana said, suddenly feeling like the strongest girl in the world, red and black armor or not. "It's just not right and I don't want to be a part of that any more."

"Well good for you Mija," Santos said setting a large hand on Santana's and squeezing it tightly. "And I'm sure Rachel appreciates such a grand gesture."

"I'm not only doing it for her," Santana murmured, her face flushing as she stared into the sweet brown coffee. "I mean yah she kicked it off…but I'm doing it for me to. I just want to be happy."

"Well regardless of your reasoning I'm proud of you Mija. And for the record I think Rachel is just a very lovely girl," Santos said, his eyes twinkling with slight mirth.

"She is isn't she?" Santana whispered smiling lightly.

"She sure is. So tell me, when are you going to ask her out?" Santos asked chuckling when Santana nearly spit out a mouthful of coffee.

"Papi you can't just ask that kind of stuff!" Santana yelled covering her face with her hands and letting her head fall on the table.

"Why not?" Santos asked feigning innocence. "I'm a cool hip father just asking his pride and joy when he can expect nietos."

"Oh my god stop talking," Santana grumbled shaking her head. Santos laughed at her and the Latina sighed when she felt a large comforting hand start to stroke her hair. "I do like her," she admitted turning her head and looking at her father with sad brown eyes.

"Then I ask again. When are you going to ask her out?" Santos asked leaning down over the table and laying down his head till they were eye to eye.

"I can't," Santana sighed forlornly. "She's already got a girlfriend; a really crappy one, but a girlfriend none the less."

"How crappy?" Santos asked brushing a few strands of hair out of his daughter's face.

"Really crappy," Santana grumbled shaking her head. "She doesn't treat Rachel well at all."

"Does Rachel realize this?" Santos asked sympathetically.

"Yah she knows it," Santana grumbled. "But she also knows that she used to really love this girl and she's trying to hold on to that. She asked for me to just be her friend right now while she figures it all out."

"And what did you tell her Mija?"

"I told her I would," Santana sighed. "She needs a friend right now."

"True but you also need to take care of yourself," Santos pointed out gently.

"What should I do Papi?" Santana asked, her voice wavering slightly with emotion.

"I think you should be there for Rachel like she wants Sweetheart. But don't be afraid to also show Rachel that she has better options," Santos explained sitting up in his chair and taking a sip of his coffee.

"What if I don't think I'm a better option Papi? There isn't a whole lot separating her girlfriend and me," Santana whispered as her eyes began to mist up.

"I think there is probably more than you're aware of. And the rest…well if Rachel is worth quitting the Cheerios for maybe she's worth changing the things that make you feel like you're no better than this other girl."

"She is worth it," Santana quickly shot out, her face determined.

"Then there you go Mija," Santos said smiling proudly down at his daughter.

"I think she likes me back," Santana murmured sitting up in her chair and draining the last of her coffee.

"Oh I'm sure she does," Santos laughed as his daughter got up and walked her empty cup over to the sink. "It's the Lopez charm. It's irresistible."

"Okay, I've gotta get going. Time to face the masses," Santana sighed checking the time and frowning.

"You'll be fine Mija. Just try to keep you cool and avoid mangling any poor students today," Santos laughed spreading his newspaper back out.

"I make no promises," Santana chuckled shaking her head and walking towards the door.

"Oh and Santi. I want you to bring Rachel around here more often. I know that she says she's just fine alone but I don't like it," Santos said, his voice leaving no room for argument.

Santana smiled widely and quickly closed the distance between her and her father to wrap him up in her arms. "Have I ever mentioned you're like the best guy in the world?"

"Once or twice," Santos laughed patting her arm. "But a guy never gets tired of hearing it."

* * *

Santana stood outside of the double doors for close to a minute before working up the courage and needed attitude to open them.

Before that she had spent a full ten minutes circling the lot trying to find an empty space, despite her still very open one. She knew that Quinn had left it open on purpose. The girl was testing her. She had expected it and she supposed that there would be more than one today.

Finally when she had mustered up her best bitch face the Latina had thrown open the doors to the school and strutted it, her head held high and her eyes straight ahead.

All around her she could hear students already starting to whisper about her lack of a uniform and ahead of her she watched with a smirk as they hesitated for a second before jumping out of her way like confused scared animals.

So far they didn't know what was up and Santana planned on using that to her advantage. She knew the rest of the day was going to be a test. Every single student she had dumped on before was going to be watching her like a hawk, trying to figure out if her lack of a Cheerio's uniform equated to an easy target, so later she would concede that in a way what happened next was a good thing. She needed to make a strong impression that she was still a bitch not to be messed with and Quinn had seemingly served one up on a silver platter.

But that was later. At the moment all she felt was complete rage bubble up in her chest when she turned down the hallway and saw one of the Baby Cheerios slinking her way down the hall towards Rachel, a slushy grasped in shaking hands.

"Oh fuck no," she growled angrily, her eyes narrowing to tiny slits as she began power walking down the hallway with one hand on her hip and the other raised regally in the air.

Rachel was seemingly unaware of the danger lurking behind her because her eyes lit up for a moment when she saw Santana heading her way and then quickly changed to confusion. Next to her Kurt and Blaine were nervously glancing between Santana and Rachel, obviously confused by the Latina's wardrobe and the look of pure fury written across her face.

Without skipping a beat Santana grabbed one of the petite brunette's hands and pulled her along down the hall with her.

There was a moment when the Baby Cheerio stopped, her eyes widening in confusion as she watched Santana grab Rachel and then something seemed to click in her head because she quickly made to turn around.

Again without skipping a beat Santana reached out seamlessly through the air and wrapped her free hand around the girl's pony tail, pulling her roughly to the side and keeping up her stride with a very confused Rachel next to her, Kurt and Blaine trailing along with matched looks of wonder, and the general population of McKinley High watching in wide mouthed horror.

"Let go of me!" The random Cheerio yelped as her free hand not still clutching the slushy shot up and began trying to pry away Santana's fingers.

"Shut up," Santana snapped as she maneuvered the small group down the hall, her hips swaying and her eyes straight ahead.

"Santana not that I don't appreciate this very gallant show of friendship but what is going on?" Rachel asked rushing to keep up with the Latina.

"Making a statement," Santana explained her voice icy and her eyes narrowing sharply when Finn turned the corner and looked at the five of them with an absolutely befuddled gassy infant face.

"Hey what's going on?" He asked loudly as the group passed by him.

"Nothing to worry about Finn," Rachel called back quickly as Santana turned them down another hallway.

"Um Rach, Honey, I know that we haven't really touched base this year and I'm really sorry about that but what is going on?" Kurt asked jumping slightly to avoid the random Cheerio's backpack which had just finally slipped off of her shoulders into a messy heap onto the ground.

"Oh um…" Rachel trailed off, her eyes flitting to Santana who just smirked proudly as she watched random students dive out of their way.

"Long story short Hummel, Rachel and I became friends about a month ago, I quit Cheerios because I'm tired of being a bitch, and I warned Quinn to keep her little cheer bitches on a leash," Santana explained happily.

"Oh…okay…" Kurt said, his eyes going wide with shock. "Rachel?"

"All completely true," Rachel said nervously as the door to the Cheerio's locker room came into view.

"True story bitches," Santana exclaimed smugly as her strides lengthened to make up for the Cheerio who had realized what was about to happen and was struggling even harder in her grasp.

If telling her father that she was gay and telling Quinn to shove the Cheerio's uniform up her ass was freeing this was downright liberating the slaves to Santana. Each step she took down the halls felt bigger and bigger, and each time she looked over to see Rachel watching her with a mixture of appreciation, nervousness, and awe she felt her heart practically leap into her chest.

"This is like the most epic thing I've ever seen," Blaine exclaimed from behind them as the small group came about five feet from the door.

"Then hold on to your hair products Blaine Warbler," Santana said smirking before striding up the door and literally kicking it open.

Inside the Cheerio's were just all coming out of the showers, their hair still dripping wet and it was obvious to Santana that Quinn had sent this poor girl out ahead of the pack to see how far she could push her boundaries.

Quinn stood in the middle of the room, her eyes wide as Santana dragged the girl across the room before literally throwing the girl at her feet sending the miraculously still full slushy across the room to splatter across an entire rack of freshly laundered uniforms.

The locker room fell into complete silence.

All around them Cheerios in various states of undress looked on with wide open mouths as Santana and Quinn locked eyes and began to stare the other one down.

Words didn't need to pass between them. Their eyes were doing enough talking.

Santana only lowered her gaze when she felt a small hand curl around her bicep and turned to see Rachel glancing pleadingly at her. The Latina tried not to feel the sting that look left. Clearly Rachel was very appreciative of what she had just done, but it was obvious she did not want Santana and Quinn fighting. Not only because she was a pacifist but because she was afraid of the backlash Quinn could receive if things got out of hand.

Heaving a deep sigh she nodded slightly before turning back to Quinn. "The next one will only wish she got dragged through the school by her pony," she growled before slipping her hand into Rachel and stalking towards the door where a very impressed Kurt and Blaine were watching.

"Well that was rather endearing," Kurt said smiling as the door shut to the sound of Quinn yelling at the Cheerios to fall in line immediately.

"I try," Santana said scowling at the two boys. In all of the excitement she hadn't had a chance to question their motives for suddenly talking to Rachel but now that at least part of this fiasco was taken care of she intended to. Right the fuck now.

"Okay Lady Boys what's going on?" She asked stopping suddenly in the hallway and standing imposingly between them and Rachel.

"I feel I should be asking you that question Santana," Kurt said furrowing his brows and glancing at Rachel.

"Rachel and I are friends now. We have been for a while. What do you two want out of her?" Santana asked forcefully.

"We come in peace," Blaine said quickly holding up his hands and stepping in between Kurt and Santana. "Actually before you showed up Kurt was about to say something to Rachel."

"What was it?" Rachel asked stepping around Blaine and Santana to look at Kurt.

"It was actually an apology," Kurt sighed stepping forwards and looking at the brunette with honest wide eyes. "I realized that I've been exceedingly M.I.A. every since I met Blaine and I've been ignoring you completely just when we were starting to really get along," the boy said sadly. "And I don't want that. In a few months this is all going to be over and we will be heading to New York for NYADA and I want to do it together."

"It's not completely your fault," Rachel said looking down at the ground for a moment. "I've been…rather distant so far this year myself."

"What do you say we let bygones be bygones?" Kurt asked resting a gentle hand on the diva's shoulder and squeezing lightly. "Will you be the Barbara to my Judy?"

"Oh Kurt," Rachel said smiling widely and flicking away a tear before pulling the boy into her arms.

"Awe they are so adorable," Blaine squealed looking to Santana who just rolled her eyes and smiled.

"Okay, now that that is out of the way I have to ask, how did you two even become friends?" Kurt asked releasing Rachel and wiping away a few errant tears.

"That is a long story," Rachel said smiling widely and stepping until she was by Santana's side.

Santana could practically see the gleam in Kurt's eyes at the idea of a long story but just then the bell rang. "Sorry Hummel, you'll have to wait until Glee."

"What's happening in Glee?" Rachel asked cocking her head to the side and looking at the Latina in confusion.

"You'll see," Santana said rolling her eyes as the four of them started walking down the corridor to their prospective classes.

"But I don't want to wait," Rachel and Kurt whined in unison.

"Patience is a virtue," Santana said smirking before quickly ducking into her classroom.

Sighing as she watched Rachel walk off with the boys she fixed her best bitch face and turned around to see the rest of her classmates attempting to not stare at her. Raising an eyebrow she walked towards her chair, adding a heavy sway to her hips and scowling down at anyone who actually dared to look at her.

Just as she had taken her seat and began pulling out her book she felt the seat next to her be taken and she looked over to see Brittany side eyeing her with a look that could only be described as nervous disappointment. "Britt what's wrong?" Santana quickly asked, moving her chair closer to the blonde's.

"You're not trying to hurt Rachel are you?" Brittany asked crossing her arms and frowning.

"What?" Santana asked, her eyes widening in shock. "No I'm not. What would make you think I am?"

Brittany's shoulders instantly slumped and she looked at Santana with a hurt expression. "Quinn told the rest of the Cheerios that Rachel is off limits because you and Quinn are planning a really big prank on Rachel."

"Fuck," Santana groaned letting her head fall against her desk. "I'm not playing a prank on her," the Latina said turning her head and looking at Brittany. "I promise."

"Okay," Brittany said nodding and lying her head down on her desk so they could look at each other. "I'm glad because Rachel really needs a friend."

"That's what I want to be," Santana murmured bringing a hand up to rest atop Brittany's.

"And you totally want to be more than that but you can't because she's with Quinn right?" Brittany asked letting her fingers link through Santana's.

The Latina probably should have been surprised but she couldn't find it in her self to be. Brittany had always had a freaky sense of awareness concerning the people close to her. Still she was curious. "How long have you know about them B?"

"Since Freshmen year," the blonde said nodding affirmatively. "But I thought that they broke up last year because Quinn and Puck adopted a stork."

Completely unfazed by the blonde's wording Santana nodded glumly. "They did, but Rachel took her back."

"That's a really bad idea." Brittany sighed. "I mean they love each other yah but Quinn is super mean to Rachel. It's not good for her."

"No it's not," Santana sighed closing her eyes for a second before opening them and staring into blue ones. "I wasn't a whole lot better to you though."

"Yes you were," Brittany instantly defended. "You're the only person who has never called me stupid besides Rachel and Artie. You like know that I'm just awesome."

"Totally awesome B," Santana said smiling and sitting up as the teacher walked into the room to being the lesson. "Totally awesome."

* * *

The rest of the day was a series of uneasy encounters for Santana. It seemed every person she came into contact to outside of Rachel was watching her closely either waiting for her to snap or looking for a weakness. But that really didn't matter for Santana.

She had much bigger much happier things on her mind, like the fact that with the exception of their lunch period her and Rachel had spent the entire day together outside of class. Santana had actually made sure of that herself.

She trusted that the majority of the Cheerios weren't stupid enough to go against what Quinn had said, but that didn't guarantee Rachel's safety in the least; fact that was proven in between first and second period.

_Santana strode down the hall quickly, her eyes straight ahead ignoring all of the obvious talking about her going on. Turning down the hallway she sighed in relief when she saw Rachel exiting her first period class, head down as had become usual but at least not drenched in slushy. _

"_Hey Rach, wait up," Santana called swiftly making her way through the crowd and sliding up next to the diva. _

"_Hello Santana," Rachel said, her smile wide but her eyes darting nervously around to the various students watching them closely. _

"_How was class?" Santana asked falling into step next to the girl but keeping her eyes open for anyone who posed a threat. _

"_It was okay. Finn burned one of his eyebrows off using the Bunsen burner," the shorter girl giggled, smiling shyly over at the ex-cheerio. _

"_Oh god I wish I had seen that," Santana snorted shaking her head as they neared the shorter girl's locker. _

"_Well you'll see it in Glee no doubt. I believe he said something about asking Kurt to help him pencil one on though," Rachel mused as she began to spin her lock. _

"_Priceless," Santana snickered leaning up against the lockers. "So what's your next period class?" _

"_Mmm history," Rachel hummed shaking her head and frowning. "Which I fail to see the point of taking considering that the American education system is completely biased and flat out untruthful about our own history." _

"_How so?" Santana asked crossing her arm and glancing at the girl before looking down the hall in watch. _

"_Several reasons. The school system limits what we learn and tries to wrap up our history into a nice neat patriotic package. I'm not saying loving your country is wrong but I think that history should be less about facts and more about feelings and causes, if people understand a mistake and it's reasons then they'll be less likely to repeat it," the brunette explained, her trailing off at the ends and her face flushing a deep crimson red. "And I'm rambling." _

"_One. I think it's actually really hot that you're like a secret nerd. But second, yah that was a ramble which I haven't heard from you in a while. What's up Shorty?" Santana asked frowning down at her best friend and resting a hand on the girl's arm. _

"_I'm nervous," Rachel said clearing her throat and looking around the busy hallway filled with people subtly watching them. "I'm not used to a bunch of people watching me when I'm not on stage." _

"_And what else is wrong?" Santana asked narrowing her eyes and stepping closer to the brunette. _

"_I'm afraid how this is going to affect you," Rachel admitted averting her eyes. "And I'm afraid how this is going to affect Quinn and myself. I feel like we're barely treading water as is." _

"_Rachel…look at me," Santana said putting her hands on the girl's shoulder and staring into her eyes. "Do not worry about me. Right now what they're all trying to do is figure out how far they can push me and they're gonna realize really fucking fast that they can't push me any further then they already have without me snapping." _

"_Are you sure?" Rachel said chewing on her bottom lip and glancing down when Mercedes and Tina walked by with equal shocked expressions. _

"_I'm positive," Santana said smiling softly. "I'm a fucking badass in or out of that uniform. Even more so now that I've got you around." _

"_You…say the nicest things sometimes," Rachel whispered brushing some hair behind her ear and biting her bottom lip. _

"_Well I mean them," Santana said before clearing her throat and standing up straighter, aware that the looks they were getting were a little to intense now. Taking a deep breath she remembered the vow she had made last night and fought down the urge to trash Quinn. "And about the Q thing…if she really loves you…then she's going to be okay with this. And if she isn't then she's an idiot." _

"_I just…it's like I have to keep reminding myself what I'm fighting for," Rachel murmured squeezing her eyes shut tightly. "I'm sorry…you probably don't want to hear this." _

"_I hate hearing that your unhappy Rachel," Santana said quickly shaking her head. "You know I think that you could do so much better but regardless I want you to talk to me about this kind of stuff. Everyone needs someone to talk to." _

"_I just…it's all so confusing," the shorter girl murmured right as the last bell rang._

"_Well you'll figure it out and I promise I'll be there to hear about it. I figure you put up with my ass so we're even right?" Santana chuckled nudging the girl's shoulder as they began walking down the hall. _

"_I'm rather fond of your ass actually," Rachel mumbled rolling her eyes. _

"_Wanky," Santana laughed. _

_When the two brunettes turned the hall towards the history block Santana instantly felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Narrowing her eyes she glanced around the hallway and noted that it was seemingly devoid of the usual slushy targets, like small fish turned away from shark infested waters. _

"_Walk behind me huh Rach?" Santana murmured not waiting for the girl to agree before stepping in front of her and crossing her arms menacingly. As if on an invisible cue Azimo Adams turned the corner coming their way with two nameless football players on each side of him and a slushy in his hands. _

"_San you don't have to do this," Rachel whispered moving to step around the Latina. _

"_Yes I do Rach," Santana murmured back. "I meant what I said. All this shit stops. You've got enough to deal with right now." _

"_You're amazing," Rachel whispered, her voice filled with a lilt of awe that made the Latina puff up in pride. _

"_Something I can help you with Adams?" Santana asked narrowing her eyes and pursing her lips as the football players stopped in front of them. _

"_Sure Lopez, you can get the hell out of my way so I can give Berry here a bath. She be stinkin up my hallway," the boy laughed, raising his hand to receive a high five. _

"_You sure that's her and not that little problem you gave going on downstairs?" Santana asked, her voice coming out both lethal and friendly at the same time. _

"_Oh snap," one of the nameless jocks snickered into his hand as Azimo puffed up angrily. _

"_That's not what you were saying four months ago slut," Azimo growled angrily, the hand holding the slushy clenching and forcing ice liquid over the sides. _

_Behind her Santana could feel Rachel's entire body tense in fury and she quickly reached behind her to discreetly grab the girl's hand and squeeze. "No what I believe I said four months ago is my god is it supposed to be that small and green?" Santana chuckled smiling sweetly up at the fuming jock and causing the other two jocks to start laughing. "Hey Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber I wouldn't be laughing considering word in the locker rooms is neither of you can find the end zone." _

"_That's a lot of static coming from some one in street clothes Slutana," Azimo barked angrily, his entire body trembling. _

"_Street clothes or not I'm still the baddest bitch up in this school and I can still make your life a living hell," Santana snarled out stepping up into the boys face. "And you and I and everyone in this school knows it. A uniform is just a uniform when you're packing as much bitch as I am." _

"_So what you're defending the troll now?" Azimo asked, his voice starting to waiver with obvious fear. Without blinking an eye Santana wrapped her hand around the cup in the boys hand and propelled it forwards, drenching him instantly in sticky cold liquid. "Ah my eyes!" He shouted flailing backwards and burying his face in his hands. _

"_You two wanna insult my friend too?" Santana asked crossing her arms and glaring at the other two jocks who quickly shook their heads and took off down the hallway. Smiling as they left Santana leant over till her lips were inches away from the jock's ear. "Come near Rachel again and I'll tell everyone at this school that you cried like a little bitch because you couldn't get hard. Entiendes mother fucker?"_

"_Fuck you," Azimo moaned turning around and running blindly down the hall way. _

_Smiling Santana straightened up and glanced around at the students who had been watching all the commotion. Smirking she turned just in time to receive and arm full of Rachel Berry. _

"_You're like my hero," the shorter girl whispered into the crook of her neck. _

_Santana smiled and held the girl closer to her chest in return. Glancing up she watched Quinn stalking down the hall, her eyes flitting from them and to the ground with a heart broken look on her face. She felt bad for a second but then remembered that she had managed to stop the slushies on Rachel in roughly a day. Quinn had had three years and she had never even attempted. _

_Sighing when the blonde slipped into her classroom she released Rachel and looked down at her. "I'll be outside your class when the bell rings so just wait back okay." _

"_Thank you Santana," Rachel said wiping away a tear and looking down at her feet. _

"_Hey why are you crying?" Santana asked quickly pulling them to the side of the hallway and pushing back the girl's hoody so she could wipe her cheeks. _

"_I'm just…I'm overwhelmed," Rachel said taking a very deep breath. "It's a good overwhelmed though. No one has ever stuck up for me like this. It doesn't seem real." _

"_Well it is real," Santana said, fighting her inner urge to go after Quinn and shove her face into the floor. Remembering what her father had said this morning the Latina squared her shoulders and sat a hand on Rachel's. Taking a deep breath she caught the girl's eyes and looked into them seriously. "You are worth defending Rachel and I promise to do just that no matter what." _

_Rachel smiled widely before looking down and shaking her head. "I just…I can't figure out why this is so easy for you when…" _

"_When Quinn couldn't?" Santana whispered sadly as she pulled the shorter girl into her arms. _

_Rachel let out the smallest of sighs before squeezing Santana and backing away. "I should get to class and you should too." _

"_Sure thing," Santana murmured, clearing her throat and pushing down the urge to pull Rachel back into her arms. "Remember what I said Shorty. Wait for me." The Latina said before striding down the hallway. From behind her she heard Rachel whisper a question to herself that caused Santana to simultaneously jump for joy inside and nearly start crying. _

"_Will you wait for me?" _

The rest of the day passed in the same way. Santana walking Rachel to and from class and handing out a few verbal beat downs along the way.

It was also filled with weary looks from the other Glee members with the exception of Kurt and Blaine who had seemingly adopted Santana into their lives after watching the Cheerio incident first person.

Santana was glad when the last bell rang and everyone started making their way to Glee, but she was also nervous as hell. She had been hiding the secret of who she was for so long that the idea of just blurting it out to a room full of people she had bullied for three years sounded as appealing as telling Sue her hair resembled Schuester's.

Heading into the classroom with Rachel by her side was intimidating. Especially when they walked in and everyone instantly shut up and looked at them in unison. "Very subtle guys," Santana grumbled shaking her head and pulling Rachel to the front where Brittany was saving seats for them.

"What's going on?" Finn asked suddenly leaning forwards in his seat and glaring at Santana. "What are you doing to Rachel."

"Oh bite it Finnept, on and nice eyebrow Nay-Nay" laughed catching sight of a horribly drawn eyebrow on the left side of the boy's face that made him look extremely surprised.

Finn was clearly about to yell back but at that moment Schue walked in to the classroom, the smile on his face quickly turning to utter confusion at the sight of Rachel and Santana sitting next to each other.

"Christ I'm already exhausted," Santana moaned leaning forwards and letting her head fall into her hands before taking a deep breath. A small hand ran down her back and Santana nodded to herself before standing up. "Okay," she said moving to stand in front of the group as Schue sat down in stunned silence. "Obviously everyone in here wants to know what's going on."

"I was afraid we were being to subtle about it," Mercedes said sarcastically shaking her head.

"So funny," Santana grumbled before straightening up. "But I guess I deserve that. And I deserve all of you probably thinking that I'm cooking up some epic prank."

"The thought had crossed our minds," Artie said furrowing his brows at Santana.

"Okay," Santana said nodding and beginning to wring her hands together. Her eyes flitted from the floor and she felt like she was moments away from fainting when suddenly she felt hands take both of hers. Looking to her sides she saw Brittany and Rachel both standing there smiling reassuringly at her and she stood up straighter when they both gave her a gentle squeeze.

"Okay," she repeated looking up at the group who was with the exception of Quinn watching her with apt attention. "I want to apologize to you. To all of you. I've been a straight up bitch to all of you for years and most of you have never deserved it." She glanced over at Finn who had the decency to look away, though already his face was taking on that angry constipated look and his eyes kept tracking back to Rachel's hand in hers.

"I've called you all names that went beyond me just being me and I've done things with the intention of hurting you because I was to afraid to deal with my own problems. And I'm…I'm just really fucking sorry," the Latina said glancing down at the floor and then up to the group who were looking at her closely, inspecting her for signs that this was a joke.

"Why the sudden turn around?" Mercedes asked skeptically crossing her arms and glancing at Rachel who had begun to soothingly run her fingers up and down Santana's left arm, sending what seemed to be bolts of courage through the ex-cheerio's body.

"A lot of reasons…but the most important is Rachel," Santana said slowly, carefully selecting her words and holding up a silencing hand when Finn moved to object. "About a month ago I was having…well probably one of the worst days of my life…and Rachel was cool enough to be decent to me even though I've been nothing but a bitch to her for three years. After that…we got assigned to work together on a project for chemistry and I just…I realized that she is actually a really awesome person once you get past the crazy. In fact she's probably cooler because of the crazy."

Next to her she heard Rachel giggled and she couldn't help but smile at being the cause of it. Clearing her throat she straightened her face and looked back to the group. "We started hanging out and I just…I realized that I don't want to be that bitch who has to hide behind a uniform just to get by. It's not the person my Mami raised me to be."

"I think that's great Santana," Kurt said leaning forwards in his chair and smiling warmly at the Latina.

"I don't. How do we know that this isn't a trick she's playing on Rachel?" Finn growled crossing his arms moodily.

Santana made to snap at him but the tanned hand slipped into her own jerked slightly and she looked over to see Rachel shake her head before turning back to Finn. "You don't know that Finn. But I know that she is being sincere and that is what matters."

Finn slumped back in his chair, his face fallen and Santana had to stifle back laughter. Suddenly Sam leant forwards in his seat and looked closely at the Latina despite his girlfriend nails which were visibly digging into his arm, Quinn who had been staring intently at the wall the entire time. "So you really quit the Cheerios?" The blonde boy asked, his voice slightly impressed.

"Yes I did," Santana said nodding her head slowly. "I couldn't stay on that team if it meant that to keep my spot I had to hurl slushies in people's faces. That's not who I want to be anymore."

"That is a very mature thing to do Santana and I can't speak for everyone but I'm very proud of you," Mr. Schue said smiling widely at the Latina.

The girl smiled back to him and was about to thank him when out of the corner of her eyes she saw Quinn's head snap towards her. "What about your scholarship?" She asked and Santana didn't miss the lilt of desperation in it. This was obviously the last ammo Quinn had and she had been saving it for this moment.

Next to her Rachel instantly froze and Santana turned to see her gaping widely at her. "What is she talking about?" Rachel asked slowly, her brows furrowing together.

"Cheerio's Scholarship. If we win our Nationals this year we're all pretty much guaranteed scholarships," Quinn said slowly, her jaw set tight.

Recognition passed through Rachel's eyes but before the girl could protest Santana held up a hand to stop her. "I have thought about that and I decided that it's not worth it."

"But Santana that's your college education," Tina said slowly, the words coming out as a question instead of a statement.

"I know, and like I said I thought about it. I decided that while yes having a full ride would be nice it's not worth it if it means I have to be someone that I don't want to be. The people I care about are more important," Santana said turning and looking at Rachel pointedly and boldly. "Because if you really care about someone you'll find a way to make it work that doesn't hurt them," she said pointedly glancing at Quinn before turning back to Rachel.

The room was silent after that and Santana watched as Rachel's eyes filled with tears and a small smile touched her lips. Glancing around Santana watched as the group thought about what she had just said and she felt a surprising pang of guilt when she noticed Quinn nearly had tears in her eyes. Thankfully Puck broke the silence. "Awe San you really do have a heart."

"Haha," Santana laughed shaking her head and then nodding. "But I do. Look I'll be real. A lot of the time you all legitimately drive me crazy. I can't promise you I'm going to stop being a straight up bitch all the time cause I like to think that's part of my charm."

"It totally is," Brittany piped up making Santana roll her eyes and smile.

"But I can promise that I am not going to be the complete asshole I've been before. And I can promise this because…because you group of losers are my friends and I care about you all, even if I would kill you for repeating that outside of this room," she added and then smiled when the majority of the group started laughing and shaking their heads.

Taking a deep breath Santana steeled herself before looking over at Rachel who was looking at her like she was the best thing since sliced bread. Turning her head Santana looked at Brittany then who nodded reassuringly at her, already knowing what the Latina was about to do.

"There's more," Santana said standing up straight and taking a deep calming breath.

"Are there gifts under our seat?" Kurt chuckled making Santana smile and glance up at the ceiling.

"No Liza I'm actually your gift," Santana joked shaking her head.

"Oh…did you get a gift receipt then?" Kurt quipped making the Latina bark in laughter.

"Shut up Hummel," she said shaking her head, but feeling as confident as ever. "Okay…I know I just apologized to you guys for all the shitty things I've done but I want to explain myself. I know it's like totally not a very good explanation…but I need to get this out."

"Whatever it is San we got your back," Puck exclaimed earning a few nods and murmurs of agreement.

"Okay," Santana said looking down at the ground and breathing slowly through her nose.

"I believe in you," Rachel whispered sending little shivers down Santana's spine and returning the ten feet tall feeling to her heart.

"Okay," the Latina said taking a deep breath. "The reason I've been so horrible to everyone is because I've been afraid…no I've been fucking terrified of what people would say if they knew who I really am. I was afraid of the looks and the talking behind my back. I was afraid of what people are going to say and do to me, and honestly I'm still afraid. I'm…I'm not ready to tell the whole world yet…but I am ready to tell my friends." The room was silent as Santana collected her thoughts. She looked around her eyes going from team mate to team mate. All of them were looking at her closely, their faces comforting and accepting with the exception of three people.

Finn was glaring down at the floor in between glancing at her and Rachel's joined hands, obviously pissed off that Rachel had shut down his protest earlier. Sam was splitting his time between looking at her and glancing nervously at Quinn. And Quinn was back to facing the wall, her jaw set tight and her eyes closed even tighter.

Pulling out a courage from deep in her chest Santana glancing once down at the two hands holding tightly to hers, her best friends, before looking back up. "I'm a lesbian," she said, her voice steady and proud.

There was a moment of silence before Kurt let out a sound somewhere between a squeal and a cheer and then the Latina almost started crying when the majority of the group moved down from the bleachers to form a gigantic group hug. "Oh my god get off of me you losers," Santana yelled shaking her head and laughing through her unbidden tears as she got pats on the backs and words of pride out of the group.

Out of the corner of her eye she watched Finn storm out of the room and then Quinn follow him a few minutes later alone, as Sam had joined in on the hug. "Santana we're all really proud of you," Schue said clapping the Latina on the back and smiling widely before looking at the team. "What say we call it a day guys?"

"Hell yah," Mercedes said moving to grab her stuff. "I say we move this party to Breadsticks in honor of Santana not being an evil bitch anymore."

"I'm paying," Sugar said clapping giddily as she pulled Rory out of the room.

"Oh god," Santana groaned shaking her head and letting Rachel pull her into a hug. "I take it back. Now they all like me. I didn't sign up for this."

"Too late, welcome to the family," Blaine chirped smiling smugly as the group started filing out of the room and heading to their cars.

Brittany and Artie were the last to leave and Santana smiled when the girl turned back to them. "I'll make sure they have your wheel barrel ready," Brittany said happily before pushing her boyfriend out of the room.

"God I'm going to have to put up with all of them from now on aren't I?" Santana moped shaking her head against Rachel's shoulder.

"At least you still have me?" Rachel teased shaking her had.

"Uh-uh if I have to make friendly with everyone then you do to," Santana said straightening up her back and glaring down at the diva.

"Um San…I think you've forgotten that none of them really like me a whole lot. With the exception of you, Brittany, Kurt, and Blaine they all tolerate me at best," Rachel said nervously looking down at the floor.

"That's because they don't know you," Santana said quickly stepping forwards and squeezing the girl's arms. "But they're gonna."

"But what if I start rambling incessantly and ranting all the time," Rachel asked biting her bottom lip.

"Okay look you don't do that around me right?" Santana asked leaning forwards a bit.

"Well no, but I'm comfortable around you," Rachel reasoned carefully.

"Okay and if you haven't noticed I manage to keep my oh so hilarious yet mistaken for bitchy qualities under control, and Snixx firmly in her cage" Santana continued as she began pushing the girl to the doorway.

"That is true…you were only slightly insulting to Kurt and Blaine this morning," Rachel said nodding her head slowly.

"Well that's because I'm comfortable around you. The reason no one has been able to stand us for the last few years is because when we get all nervous and uncomfortable we go on the defense. I figure as long as we stay together we can show those guys that we're pretty much badasses," Santana reasoned as they headed out to her car.

"So kind of like chemical buffers then?" Rachel asked smiling gently.

"Exactly. If you start going to into crazy ramble mode I'll poke the hell out of you."

"And if you start trying to rip their heads off I'll poke you back," Rachel said smiling widely as comprehension dawned on her.

"Exactly," Santana said laughing as she unlocked her doors.

"Okay," Rachel said sitting down and buckling up. "I…I really do want to be friends with them. I've tried so hard but there's just…there was a lot on my mind."

"Hey I understand," Santana said reaching a hand across the divider and squeezing Rachel's forearm.

Suddenly the sound of Rachel's phone buzzing interrupted the moment and the girl quickly dug it out of her bag and frowned when she read the text.

"What's up?" Santana asked, her hand frozen on the girl's arm.

"Quinn…she wants to hang out tonight…and talk about what all happened today," Rachel said biting her bottom lip and closing her eyes. "We…we avoided it at lunch and just filled out some college applications together."

"Oh," Santana said, her heart dropping into her stomach. "Do you…do you want me to just take you home then?" She asked meekly, trying to keep a smile on her face.

Rachel bit her bottom lip and rolled the phone in her hands a few times before leaning back in her seat and shaking her head. "No…I want to go to dinner with you because…I'm insanely proud of what you just did…and frankly…I don't think Quinn and I need to talk about today as it shouldn't affect us…and if it does…I don't know…" the brunette murmured slowly before trailing off as she shoved her phone in her bag.

"Are you sure?" Santana asked carefully, trying hard not to sound too hopeful.

"Yes," Rachel said turning to look at her with wide brown eyes. "I want to go to dinner with my best friend."

"Okay," Santana said nodding once and then twice. "Okay, lets go get out sticks on then."

"Yes lets," Rachel said letting out what seemed to be a very relieved yet at the same time troubled sigh.

Twenty minutes later they pulled into the parking lot at Breadsticks and Santana couldn't help but smile the widest and most freeing smile of her life when a slender hand slipped into her own and she was greeted by an entire table of people who accepted her for just the way she was. Looking over at Rachel she had to hold back tears. Things weren't perfect, but she would be dammed if they didn't get there soon.


	9. Chapter 9

Author: J.R. Boone (Tumblr: JRAbraxas)  
Chapter Nine  
Rating: It wouldn't be me if it wasn't M.  
Disclaimer: Yada, yada, yada, I don't own Glee or any of its characters. Just borrowing them.  
A/N: Sorry for the delay folks and mucho gracias to my Tumblr Besty InTheForestOfTheNight for being a boss and beta'ing for me!

* * *

It was now a week from Christmas and things had changed a lot in Santana and Rachel's lives. It seemed that Santana having the courage to make her self vulnerable in front of the group had worked some kind of magic that no song assignment from Schue could ever accomplish. It had finally brought together the group as a whole and made them friends, real friends. Friends who hung out together after school for large group study sessions and trips to the mall.

Santana had been dead on the stop when she said that Rachel and her self acted like buffers to each other. They kept each other's more unfavorable qualities under control and as a reward they had finally both legitimately bonded with the group.

The Latina couldn't really find words to describe how happy she was when she walked down the hallways of the school and would find the petite diva at her locker happily chatting with Mercedes, or when she walked into the choir room to find Mike throwing the girl over his shoulder and spinning her around.

It just made her feel…it made her feel really fucking invincible to think that she had played a part in this, that she was responsible for the ecstatic smile on Rachel's face every time Tina asked if she wanted to go shopping or Rory asked to practice scales with her. It was like as soon as she opened herself up to the group they had realized she wasn't that bad and, in addition, Rachel was a little cup of awesome.

The only two people who hadn't gotten into the swing of things were Finn and Quinn. Finn stood on the side lines splitting his time between glaring at every one of them and sulking down in his seat like a kicked puppy. Quinn, on the other hand, split her time between acting like nothing had changed in Glee and verbally berating Sam every time the blonde got to close to Rachel.

Santana could kind of get that, at least, and it was awkward as hell for Rachel, she knew, to have Sam hanging around them and being friendly. The brunette had admitted on several occasions that the worst thing about this whole situation was not how she was being treated; it was that Sam was obviously falling in love with Quinn.

So things were awesome, but at the same time they weren't. Santana's downright smack down of the school hierarchy system had created an unforeseen effect and the Latina was more conflicted then ever if she liked it or not.

In the last month or so Santana had effectively and, without a single doubt, shut down every single bit of mistreatment that Rachel got at school. It had been hard. More than a few jocks and cheerios had attempted to circumvent this from happening, but Santana had stood firm. Now, not a single person came near the petite singer unless they were smiling and telling her they liked her sweater that day.

This had created an effect that Santana had not foreseen and was trying her hardest to not be bitter about. Without all of the animosity and stress at school Rachel and Quinn's troubles were seemingly over for the most part. The light had returned to Rachel's eyes in a big way and that light was being directed at Quinn for the most part.

Of course Santana felt crappy about it. She had busted her ass doing something Quinn had absolutely refused to do and now the blonde was reaping every single one of the benefits as if she was the one who had done it. Without all the stress that school caused them, Rachel and Quinn seemed to be settling down and falling back into the comfortable bubble of solitude that they had been in before.

Rachel, at least for her part, did not talk to Santana about it. She kept it to herself but the Latina had eyes. She could see very clearly that Rachel was so much happier with Quinn now. Quinn, on the other hand, took every turn she could to rub in Santana's face that she and Rachel were definitely not fighting any more.

It was a shitty situation and it sucked and the worst part was that Santana knew she couldn't be a bitch about it because she would come off looking insane, for one thing, and, for another…she just couldn't be upset when Rachel was…when Rachel was so damn happy.

But she hadn't lost hope yet. She knew that this, all of this right here, was a band-aid for the problems in Rachel and Quinn's relationship. Yes, things had settled down and they were happier, but they also were avoiding talking about what had gone wrong in the first place and she could tell. She could feel it somewhere in her that Rachel did have feelings for her. They weren't as strong as they were for Quinn but they were there and they were real and there was hope.

Sighing, the ex-cheerio backed away from her locker and glanced hopefully down the corridor. It was now entering third period and she hadn't seen Rachel yet which was beyond odd. Even worse she hadn't heard a peep out of her either. All of her texts had so far gone unanswered.

A presence next to her made her smile and she turned to see Brittany happily sipping at a coffee and holding one out for her.

"You're a life saver, B." Santana started to take a greedy gulp of the liquid before quirking an eyebrow at her best friend. "B, where did you get coffee?"

"Oh, I got confused on the way to school again," Brittany said, shrugging her shoulders and licking the cream away from her top lip.

Santana shook her head and sighed. "Britt we've talked about this. You're supposed to call me when you get lost like that so you don't miss classes."

"I know," Brittany said, shrugging her shoulders again. "It's okay though because Puck was skipping and found me at the Lima Bean."

"Did he put the moves on you?" Santana asked, narrowing her eyes slightly and glancing up and down the hallway.

"Of course he did," Brittany chirped happily before taking another drink of her coffee. "And then he offered to buy me a drink but I told him you said that I wasn't allowed to take any drinks from him so he offered to buy you one too so it would be okay."

Oddly enough, Santana understood that and nodded even as she closely analyzed the drink. Satisfied that Puck hopefully wasn't stupid enough to slip a roofie into her drink she nodded again before gulping it down quickly. "You know, I can never figure out if that guy is a good guy or a sleaze bucket," Santana murmured as she felt the sweet nectar warm her entire body.

"I think he's a good guy but he's like Rorschach," Brittany explained knowingly. Santana couldn't help but snort at the comparison but she figured it fit, oddly enough. "It's like everyone thinks I'm really dumb but they don't realize I'm smarter than most of them, like Elle Woods."

"Exactly," Santana said, nodding and leaning up against the wall.

"And like everyone thinks you're a bad guy but you're really like Catwoman," Brittany continued unfazed.

"Okay B," Santana tried to interrupt, nervously eyeing the girl's coffee now.

"And if you're Catwoman that makes Rachel like Batman except that's not right….maybe you can both be Catwomen…like just from different movies," Brittany rambled, stopping only to take a quick sip of her drink. "But now I want to be from a comic book so we can go to the one of those geek interventions Artie goes to."

"It's called a convention," Santana quickly interrupted before shaking her head and grabbing the blonde's coffee to take a sip. "Jesus B there must be four extra shots of espresso in here," Santana exclaimed narrowing her eyes and looking for Puck.

"I thought it tasted strong," Brittany said, smiling widely and recovering her drink. "Speaking of Rachel where is she? I want to get her measurements so I can make her a Catwoman costume."

Rolling her eyes in amusement at the blonde's antic Santana sighed and looking once more down the hall at Rachel's locker. "I don't know B, I haven't seen her at all today."

As if Rachel, wherever she, was understood Santana's panic, the Latina's phone began vibrating and she quickly dug in her purse for it. "Is that her?" Brittany asked sliding up next to her to look down at the phone. "Ask her what her waist size is please?"

"Oh, she's sick," Santana said, frowning down at the phone before quickly hitting the call button. After a few rings she heard Rachel's tired voice say hello.

"Hey, are you okay?" Santana asked, nervously backing further up into her locker and sticking a finger in her ear.

"I'm okay," Rachel chuckled, her voice thick with sleep. "I'm sorry I didn't text you earlier."

"No it's okay what's wrong?" Santana asked, her brows furrowed together.

"Just a little bug," Rachel replied softly. "My stomach is upset and I've got a headache but it's already going away. I decided to stay out today just in case it was something serious."

"Do you need to see my dad?" Santana asked, holding the phone in the crook of her neck so she could put a hand on Brittany's shoulder and physically keep her from pinging off the walls.

"No I'm really okay," Rachel chuckled, a smile evident in her tone. "I'm just going to take some more medicine and sleep it off."

"Okay, if you're sure," Santana said, frowning slightly and sighing when Brittany got out of her grasp and began jumping up and down in place.

"I'm positive San," Rachel said softly.

"Do you still wanna hang out tonight?" the Latina asked nervously as she took a sip of her drink.

"I would love to but I don't think I'll be up for dancing and karate." Rachel answered sadly.

"That's fine. We can have like a movie marathon or something," Santana suggested lightly.

"Oh that sounds like fun," the Diva said before yawning loudly into the receiver. "Now I think I will go back to sleep."

"All right," Santana said rolling her eyes and watching Brittany who had somehow got a hold of Blaine and was grilling him for female comic book antiheroes. "You go back to sleep, I'll be over after school gets out."

"Mkay," Rachel murmured drowsily into the phone. "Bye bye."

"Bye bye sleepy head," Santana sighed softly before ending the call and taking a deep breath. "Brittany you're scaring Blaine," Santana called, wading through the sea of students now making their ways to class. "When I find fucking Puckerman he's dead."

* * *

True to her word, Santana headed straight over to Rachel's house after stopping by her place real quick to grab a couple of movies. She took a moment as she was getting out of her car to realize that it was slightly pathetic of her to be spending this much time with Rachel when the girl had a girlfriend but she quickly shook it off.

Yes, things could have been better but right now she wanted Rachel in any way she could get her. After making sure her coat was well secured around her body, Santana barreled out of the car and headed for the door before the icy chill could seep too far into her bones.

By the time she had uncovered the hide-a-key and pulled open the door she was already shaking and she quickly slammed it behind her. Dumping her purse and the movies on a side table, she made to remove her coat only to realize that it was just as cold inside the house. "Dios Mio, fucking heater," she growled, kicking off her boots and sticking her head into the kitchen to see the basement door standing wide open and gloomy light flooding up the stairs.

Rolling her eyes Santana quickly headed through the open door and down the steps to find a pair of legs sticking out from beneath the furnace.

"Rach, I thought we agreed you'd stay the hell out from underneath that thing," Santana said, rolling her eyes and stepping further into the freezing cold basement.

"So it's Rach now?" came a gruff reply and a second later Quinn rolled out from underneath the furnace wearing a dull grey jump suit and glared up at Santana as she wiped her dirty hands on a towel.

"Oh fuck me," Santana groaned, rolling her head back and crossing her arms. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Really?" Quinn growled, her hazel eyes flashing darker. "Are you really asking me what I'm doing in my girlfriend's house?"

"You bet I am, seeing as I know you have a date with Trouty, Tron and Brittany in thirty minutes," Santana said, tapping her foot and meeting Quinn's glare tit for tat.

"I didn't realize that you were in charge of my social calendar," Quinn grumbled, shaking her head before grabbing a wrench and laying down to roll back under the furnace.

"Hey Queen Bitch, you didn't answer my question." Santana snapped, her fists balling up tightly next to her.

"Christ what does it look like I'm doing?" Quinn snapped back, holding up the wrench and gesturing wildly at her clothing.

Santana rolled her eyes again but released her fists none the less. "Do you even know what you are doing under there?" She asked waspishly.

"Hmm let's see," Quinn said before slamming the wrench on the ground next to her and jumping off of the ground. "This damned furnace gives out at least four times every winter and has done so for the past three winters and since Rachel's pitiful excuses for fathers are always too busy to be bothered by it I fix it every time, so yah I think I know what I'm doing in case it's any of your business which it is, incidentally, not." With each word the blonde got closer and closer to Santana until they were nearly nose to nose glaring at each other.

"See that's where you're wrong," Santana growled lethally, taking a step forwards and forcing Quinn to move back. "Rachel is my business now and so is anything having to do with her. So you'll have to excuse the fuck out of me for being surprised and dubious that her pitiful excuse for a girlfriend can be bothered to lift a hand and crawl under a furnace for her given that for the last three and a half years the only thing she's been bother to lift was a fucking slushy."

"Like you have room to talk. You weren't any better than me," Quinn growled, pushing Santana back at the shoulders.

"Key word being weren't," Santana snapped furiously, "and then I got my head out of my ass and did something about it. And don't fucking ever push me again."

"Yeah, you did something about it because you want to fuck my girlfriend," Quinn growled back before reaching out and pushing Santana again.

"Oh that is it," Santana muttered, pulling off her coat and rolling up her sleeves. "I've wanted to do this for a while now so bring it the fuck on Fabray."

"You and me both," Quinn snapped as she began to roll back the sleeves on her jumpsuit.

Just as Santana was about to lunge at the blonde she stopped when Rachel's exhausted voice floated down to them. "San…are you down there with Quinn?" Rachel asked hesitantly, her head poking around the corner to look down at them and her brows instantly furrowing at the sight of them posed to attack each other. "What's going on?"

Santana and Quinn's bodies froze instantly and their eyes met for a moment of silent communication. After years of ruling the school together they could easily communicate their thoughts on a situation and this was a time that it came in extremely handy. Both of them seemed to understand that this was between the two of them for at least this moment.

"Nothing…I was just asking Quinn if she needed any help," Santana said, standing up straighter and turning to look up at Rachel.

Rachel's eyebrows rose slightly and she turned to look at Quinn who nodded. "And I was telling her I was almost done so there's no need," Quinn said, turning around and walking back to the furnace.

"Are you…sure?" Rachel asked, frowning and putting a foot on the stairs.

"Positive," Santana answered, sparing one last look at Quinn who was shuffling back under the furnace before heading up the stairs. "How are you feeling?" She asked, pushing Rachel gently back into the kitchen and putting a palm on her forehead.

Rachel looked like she was going to protest for a second and Santana bit her lip but eventually the shorter girl let out a defeated sigh and leant into her hand. "Dreadful. Worse than I was this morning," Rachel admitted as Santana carefully steered her into the living room, pushed her down on the couch and draped a thick blanket over her.

Santana frowned at this and sat down next to her. "I think you should see my dad."

"No really it's not that bad yet," Rachel said, shaking her head and burrowing down into the blanket.

"Not that bad yet. That is why you see a doctor so it won't get that bad," Santana grumbled, pulling her phone out of her pocket and frowning down at it.

"I promise if I start feeling worse you can cart me off to him," Rachel said, reaching across and wrapping her hand around Santana's. "Right now I just want to lay back with my best friend and watch some movies."

Santana warred with herself for a few seconds, reaching across twice to feel Rachel's forehead again just in case she had gotten a fever out of nowhere. Sighing in defeat she stood up from the couch.

"All right but if you start to feel worse I'm taking you to my dad whether you like it or not," the Latina grumbled as she walked over to the wall of dvd's. "What do you want to watch?"

"I'm thinking it's a comfort movie night," Rachel responded as she got comfortable on the couch and turned the blanket sideways so Santana could get under it.

Santana's eyes looked up and down the vast collection before landing on Funny Girl, a movie she knew that Rachel absolutely loved. Looking over her shoulder and frowning at the slight flush to Rachel's face and the way her eyes were slightly dulled cinched it for her and she grabbed the musical. Quietly, she loaded it up before walking back over to the couch and dropping down next to Rachel.

"Funny Girl?" Rachel asked when the menu popped up, her voice only just breaking for a second and her eyes shining. "We don't have to watch this you know?"

"I know," Santana said getting under the blanket and raising an arm so Rachel could lean up against her. "But I've never seen it and I know it's your favorite."

"You probably won't like it," Rachel murmured softly.

"Well you like it so I'll be good," Santana murmured back just as softly before hitting play and settling in.

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Rachel staring at her with a blatant expression of wonder and love but the Latina kept her eyes forwards even as butterflies started fluttering in her stomach. Rachel sighed softly before getting comfortable against Santana, her head resting on the girl's collarbone. Taking a deep breath Santana kissed the girl's forehead gently before leaning back in to watch the movie.

* * *

Thirty minutes later they heard a clang from below the floorboards and looked up when a blast of hot air poured out of the ceiling vent above them. Seconds later, Quinn walked into the room smoothing down the clothes she had obviously been wearing under the jumpsuit and brushing out her hair.

"I had to change out that damn pipe again," the blonde said, walking around the couch. When her eyes landed on the two brunettes cuddled up together she froze and her lips pursed into a frown.

Not taking her eyes off of the movie, Rachel smiled widely. "Thank you, Baby," she hummed happily.

Santana meanwhile had definitely taken her eyes off of the movie and was meeting Quinn's glare tit for tat. "You off for date night?" Santana asked, her eyes narrowing at the small purse clutched in Quinn's hand. Against her body she felt Rachel stiffen and she sighed internally at how stupid she could be sometimes.

Quinn's eyes narrowed to tiny slits and she dropped her purse on the couch. "Actually no," she said crossing her arms, her phone clutched in one hand. "I think that I'm going to call him and cancel so I can make sure Rachel is okay."

There was no denying the hopeful lilt to Rachel's voice when she paused the DVD and looked up at Quinn with wide eyes. "Really?"

Quinn's expression instantly softened and Santana felt her stomach pinch up. Looking at Quinn right now, she couldn't deny that the blonde loved Rachel even if she wanted to.

"Yes really," Quinn said, moving towards them and sitting down on the coffee table so she could look directly at Rachel. "You're not feeling well and I don't want you getting sick like you did last year and laying here until it's so bad you have to go to the ER." The blonde sighed, shaking her head. "You know you're more important to me then some stupid fake date with Sam."

The inside of Santana's head was a war zone at this moment. Half of her hated and resented the blonde and generally wanted the girl to disappear of the place of the fucking planet. And then the other half couldn't hate her, not when Rachel was so obviously happy that the girl would be staying. And another small self loathing part of her pointed out once more that she had never said anything like that to Brittany…so who was she to judge?

The warring stopped completely a second later when Quinn looked at her and smiled smugly. "You can go on home now S. I'll take it from here."

Santana's entire body tensed up and before she could open her mouth to protest Rachel had sat up. "No." The tiny brunette said, shaking her head.

Quinn's brows furrowed and she looked at her girlfriend in obvious confusion. "I'm sorry, what no?"

"No she doesn't need to go home," Rachel said, frowning. "I made these plans to hang out with her yesterday."

"Okay…" Quinn, said nodding her head slightly and frowning now. "But now I'm free so…"

If it was possible Rachel's frown deepened as Quinn trailed off. "And that's great that you're free and I want you to stay but Santana doesn't have to leave unless she wants to. You just can't dismiss her like that."

Santana was silent as she watched Quinn's shoulders roll back but inside she was doing a happy little dance at being defended so vigilantly by Rachel. The blonde took a deep breath and her eyes narrowed slightly at the diva. "I want to spend time with my girlfriend."

"And I want to spend time with you too," Rachel said slowly, her jaw tightening. "And I would love for you to stay here and watch movies with us. But it will be us."

"Are you kidding me right now?" Quinn asked incredulously, her knuckles turning white as she gripped the edge of the coffee table.

"No, I'm not kidding you right now Quinn. Santana is my best friend and she is staying," Rachel said, crossing her arms tightly in front of her.

Quinn's face screwed up into the HBIC glare that Santana was used to seeing and she had to fight years worth of conditioning to not wince slightly when the full force of that mask was turned on her. "You need to leave now," Quinn ground out, her hazel eyes flashing darkly.

"Like hell I will," Santana growled back at her, her own face scrunching up into a similar glare.

"No," Rachel said, pushing away the covers and standing up, her entire body shaking slightly from exhaustion and obvious anger. "Quinn she is not leaving unless she wants to."

"Well if she doesn't leave then I'm sure as hell not staying," Quinn ground out, standing up and meeting Rachel's eyes.

"Then you are free to leave," Rachel bit out carefully, her voice cracking from obvious emotion. "Santana and I made these plans yesterday because you made plans to go on a date with your boyfriend. You wouldn't even be here now if the heater hadn't broken," she snapped angrily as she rubbed her temples in exasperation.

"But I am here now," Quinn snapped, throwing her hands up in frustration. "I'm here now and I want to take care of MY girlfriend," the blonde said, glaring down at Santana and putting extra emphasis on the word my.

"I'm definitely not standing in your way so why don't you shut the fuck up, sit down, and watch a fucking movie with us," Santana yelled, her anger boiling over when she glanced over at Rachel and saw her face paling and her entire body trembling. "Are you okay?" She asked, standing up quickly and putting her palm on Rachel's forehead again.

"Keep your hands off of her!" Quinn shouted, slapping away the Latina's hand furiously.

"Oh fuck you Quinn," Santana said, pushing the blonde back angrily. "In case you forgot she's fucking sick and you acting like a crazy possessive bitch isn't helping any."

"I wouldn't be acting like this if you would just get the hell out of here!" Quinn roared, pushing Santana back.

"Well act on because I'm not leaving this house until Rachel tells me too!" the Latina screamed, putting all of her weight into pushing Quinn away from her this time.

Hazel eyes flashed red and in an instant Quinn was advancing on her, Santana raised her fists, ready to fight only to freeze when Rachel moved in between them and held her hands up in a halting motion. "Quinn just stop," the petite brunette ground out. "Santana is not going anywhere but you are. I want you to leave."

Quinn recoiled as if she had been slapped and she let out a sickening noise of surprise and hurt. "What…"

Rachel was obviously fighting tears at this point and Santana very carefully rested a hand on her shoulder. "I said I want you to leave," Rachel said, emotion bubbling up in her throat and making her words come out choked.

"You…Rachel please…" Quinn said as large fat tears started rolling down her cheeks and she shook her head.

"No," Rachel cried, closing her eyes tight. "You don't get to be the one to cry Quinn. Not when you're the one who had a date tonight with your boyfriend. Not when you're the one who makes this relationship so damn hard."

"Rachel please…what are you saying?" Quinn asked, her entire face flushing read and her voice cracking.

"I'm saying I don't want you here Quinn. Not right now…I need to think," the Diva said, turning around and flinging herself into Santana's arms as she started sobbing.

"Are you breaking up with me?" Quinn asked, her entire body shaking from obvious fear and residual anger.

"No…I just…I need to think," Rachel sobbed as hot tears rolled down her cheeks and ran down Santana's neck.

"Baby please," Quinn begged, her entire face scrunched up in grief and fear.

"Just go," Rachel sobbed, curling up into Santana's body.

Santana was silent as she wrapped her arms protectively around Rachel, but her eyes stayed on Quinn, daring her to make a move. She needn't have bothered though because Quinn looked as if she had completely forgotten Santana was even in the room. Instead the blonde let out a wail of anguish and her face screwed up into rage. "Fine! Fine I'll fucking go where I am wanted!" she shouted, grabbing her purse off of the couch and storming out the door, slamming it behind her so hard that the entire house shook and Santana heard something fall and shatter in the kitchen.

For a second Santana stood in absolute shock at what she had just witnessed until she felt Rachel start to retch in her arms. "Sweetie, you need to breath," Santana begged, picking up the girl and racing to the bathroom.

Santana spent the rest of the night holding the girl in her arms. Sometimes she was crying, other times she was sobbing so hard she needed to puke, but Santana kept a hold of her, wondering how things had gotten so horrible so quickly.


End file.
